“Oh—I . . .” I flash back to my art supply closet daydream and feel my cheeks flush. “That’s okay. I think I can find it myself. Down the hall from Kinney’s room, right?”
“Yep.”
“Perfect.” I pick up the box of journals and turn to go. “Thanks again.”
Trevor nods and we go our separate ways, and by the time I make it down the hall I feel a tiny pinprick of regret that I didn’t just pretend I needed help finding it and let him walk me. Although that probably would’ve led to more awkwardness when it came time to open the door and slip inside. I would’ve had to turn him away at that point. I really do need the closet to myself.
I try and look casual as I wait next to the locked door for the second bell to ring. When I’m sure the hallway is empty, I slide the key in the doorknob, slip into the dark, and close the door quietly behind me. My hand finds the light switch on the wall, and when I flip it, I see I’m in a tiny room that’s not all that different from what I imagined, except I’m alone and not kissing Trevor.
The shelves are a mess of cardboard boxes, some closed and some overflowing with paint-splotched brushes and palettes. Easels lean precariously in the corner; a fine, colored dust coats the floor. I decide there’s no way Trevor actually brings any girls in here. It’s not exactly romantic. Or even acceptably clean. But it is exactly what I’m looking for since I have to be at school but can’t afford to be seen reading one of the journals I’m supposed to be sending out. Which I fully intend to finish doing once I read the rest of Julianna’s. I’m hooked now. I have to know what happens with Shane. Or Orion. I grab a stiff tarp from one of the shelves and sit down.
June 2
I went looking for inspiration today and I found Orion. Sitting on the beach of the little lake I think of as my secret. I still can’t believe he was there. Since the night we met I keep catching myself thinking of him when I shouldn’t be. Wondering where he is when I have no reason to care. When I left the party that night, we didn’t exchange numbers or talk about seeing each other again. That would’ve crossed the line I’d already tiptoed up to by letting myself get so swept up by the sparkling cold of the night and the warm brown of his eyes. When I left Shane’s house, I knew the only way I might ever see Orion again was by chance.
I can’t say I wasn’t hoping for it, but I didn’t see it coming.
The only thing I saw was the twisty, narrow trail in front of me and the green of the pine trees lining it all the way up to the lake. I used to take this same trail when I wanted to be by myself, and I’d lie there in the sun on the white pumice beach and listen to the wind whisper like far off rushing water through the tops of the trees. There’s something special about it up there, away from everything and everyone.
McCloud is a lake like a secret, tucked deep in a little valley between tall gray mountains. The water is this deep blue-green that’s so still and clear you can see the reflections of the clouds drifting by on the surface, and the dark outlines of fallen trees suspended beneath it. It’s like a dream place, where two worlds meet. At least it was today.
At the top of the hill where the trail opens up to the beach and the lake, I stopped short when I saw someone else was there. When I saw Orion was there. He was sitting cross-legged on a log near the edge of the water, bent over a sketch pad in his lap, pencil moving in short, quick strokes, no idea that he wasn’t alone. I froze.
I knew I should leave before he saw me. That I probably shouldn’t be here, alone with him. But I wanted him to look up. Meet my eyes. And smile like he remembered every detail of that first night the way I did. I watched a moment too long before deciding I should turn around, but by then it was too late. That was all it took.
He glanced up, and a smile hovered at the corners of his mouth, but he didn’t seem surprised to see me there. “Hi,” he said.
It was so casual the way he said it, and he was so out of place I had to laugh. “Hi?”
“Yeah. That’s typically what I say to people I know when I see them. Don’t you?”
“Who says you know me?”
“Who says I don’t?” He set his pencil down and smiled. It was quiet a moment. “So either you’re following me or I was right about the whole fate thing.”
“Or maybe this is just a small town, where people run into each other all the time.”
“At deserted lakes?” He looked around to make his point.
“I promise I wasn’t following you. You somehow found your way to the one spot I didn’t think I would see anyone.”
“Coincidence, then.”
The word lingered between us, and I thought of how many times I’d hoped for a coincidence like this since the night we met. “What are you doing here, anyway?”
He held up the pad in explanation, then set it on the log. “Drawing. Enjoying the day. Thinking of going for a swim. You?”
“I just . . . wanted to get out for a little while, and so I came here and . . .” And there he was, and the sight of him sitting there was almost enough to make me believe maybe there was a reason. He smiled again, and the warm brown of his eyes tempted me to sit down next to him and forget everything else. I looked at the ground. “I should go,” I said, but I didn’t mean it.
“I can leave if you want.” He stood, but he didn’t mean it either.
“No, you were here first. You should . . .” I paused, unsure of what I wanted to say. “You should stay.”