Priest reached for the disks and held them up to the light. “You found two?”
“It was dark and they looked exactly the same, so I grabbed them both.”
“I’m not sure they’ll do us much good,” Lukas said. “The clue to finding the next piece is probably ash by now.”
Priest closed his hand around the disks. “He’s right. We found the other clues near the disks.”
“Not all of them. The diagram of the Shift and the word Lilburn were in your journal, and parts of mine are encrypted. There has to be something—” Alara winced and pulled up her sleeve. “Oh my god.”
Thin lines carved themselves into her skin, the same way Priest’s mark had manifested after he destroyed Millicent’s spirit. The impressions curved and one peaked into a triangle like the devil’s tail from Andras’ seal.
The fire Alara set must have burned through the cabinet and destroyed the dybbuk by now.
She reached in her pocket and rubbed her wrist with salt. Slowly, black lines filled the indentations. The guys pulled up their own sleeves, and Alara rubbed the crystals over their arms. The salt acted like the glass disks, illuminating a code invisible to the naked eye. The four of them positioned their wrists to form the seal, leaving only one small section missing.
I’m about to get my mark.
I hadn’t realized how badly I wanted it—to be part of their secret world, and my mother’s. To be one of them.
When did it change?
At Lilburn when Lukas saved my life, or in the well when Priest and I saved each other? When Alara trusted me to draw the Wall from memory? Or was it before that? When they lost almost everything they owned because of my mistake and still didn’t turn their backs on me?
Maybe it was all of those moments layered between the White Stripes, a blue string, a voodoo medal, and the weight of Jared’s eyes when he looked at me.
I inched my sleeve up slowly.
Will it hurt?
“Let’s see it,” Lukas said, the four of them still holding their arms together, waiting for the last Black Dove. I turned over my wrist so I could see the lines magically cutting themselves into my skin.
It was unmarked.
Confusion registered on their faces, mirroring my own.
“Wait,” Priest said. “Alara’s mark only showed up a second ago, and you shot the spirit on the way out. That had to be at least a few minutes after the fire destroyed the dybbuk. Give it some time.”
Alara raised her eyes to meet mine. There was no way the fire could’ve burned through the box and destroyed the dybbuk before I shot the magician and we made it out of the building.
“I’m not one of you.” I yanked my sleeve back down.
“What are you talking about?” Lukas sounded confused.
“Kennedy destroyed the vengeance spirit first.” Alara’s eyes dropped to the floor as though it was somehow her fault.
I wanted to disappear.
Instead, I threw open the door and ran.
The truth pounded me with every step. I wasn’t destined to protect the world from a demon that murdered my mother, or the missing link the Legion needed to destroy him.
Halfway across the parking lot, a hand closed around my wrist. I spun around. Jared stared back at me, desperate and lost. “I didn’t mean to grab you.”
I wanted to tell him it was okay—that I needed someone to hold me until the pain melted away.
Someone who wouldn’t let go.
I wasn’t capable of saying the words, but Jared heard them anyway. He hooked a finger through my belt loop and tugged me closer. He kept his gaze locked on mine, and it felt like he could see the fears I was trying so hard to hide.
Can you see me?
Everything about his expression said yes. He closed the distance between us and wrapped his arms around me. I buried my face in his chest. Jared’s hand slid under my hair, his thumb trailing along my neck.
I forgot how to breathe or think or do anything except hold on. “I’m not the one. I never was.”
Jared’s cheek brushed mine, as he whispered in my ear. “You’re the only one.”
A tear slid down my cheek. “You don’t have to try to make me feel better.”
“I want to.”
“Why? I’m always screwing up and making things harder for you.…” I bit my lip, wishing I hadn’t said anything.
Jared pulled back so he could look at me, his hand still on my neck. “You think you make things harder for me?”
“I know I do.”
“Only because I worry about you.”
“You don’t have to feel responsible for me,” I said, my voice raw.
Jared ran his finger down my cheek, tracing the line where a tear had fallen. “That’s not the reason.”
I opened my hand and rested it against his chest without thinking. Jared’s heart beat against my unmarked skin. “Half the time you won’t even look at me.”
His fingers slid down the back of my neck. “And the other half, I can’t stop thinking about you.”
I closed my hand, balling his shirt in my fist. “Jared—”
His face clouded over, and he stepped back. “I shouldn’t have said anything. It was a mistake.”
For a second, the words didn’t register. Not when he just chased me and held me in his arms and said—
It was a mistake.
I was a mistake. That’s what he meant.
This wasn’t the first time I’d heard those words. Heat crawled up my neck where his hand had been a moment ago. I wanted to be anywhere but here—standing in front of the boy who didn’t want me.