He shook his head. “Why is it almost impossible for me to picture you singing in a smoky, rough and tumble bar?”
“Oh, I didn’t just sing there. I did at church, too.”
Aidan grinned knowingly. “Ah, you’re a church girl. That explains a lot.”
She stopped swirling the pasta around on her fork and shot him a look. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Now I know why you felt the way you did about sleeping with me—why you don’t have any sexual partners in your past besides your fiancée.”
“Having morality and spirituality aren’t bad things,” she countered.
“I didn’t say they were. In fact, it’s what I like most about you.”
Emma snorted. “You can’t be serious.”
“Well, I am.” He moved his hand across the table to graze his fingers against hers. “Until I met you, I never knew innocence could be so damn sexy.”
Although her cheeks warmed at his compliments, she couldn’t help the smirk that curved on her lips. “You really are a smooth one, aren’t you?”
Aidan jerked his hand away from hers and crossed his arms over his chest. “I didn’t realize I was being smooth at the moment. I was just trying to flatter you a little.”
Emma chewed thoughtfully on a bite of shrimp. “I think it oozes so naturally you don’t even realize you’re doing it. I think you’d even manage to do it in a coma.”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah, all your nurses would be fawning over you—even the male ones. You would probably end up getting really shitty care. Not to mention there would probably be a daily fist fight over who got to give your sponge bath.”
Aidan threw his head back and roared with laughter. When he gazed at her, his blue eyes twinkled with amusement. “Jesus, Em, I don’t think I’ve ever laughed with a woman as much as I have with you.”
“I assume that’s a compliment, right?”
“Oh yes, a big one.”
Emma nibbled on the edge of her fork, trying to decide whether she had the courage to ask the question that had been plaguing her for a while. “So have you really never been in love before?”
Aidan choked on the bite of scampi he had taken. He succumbed to a coughing fit before taking a long gulp of wine. “That one came out of nowhere,” he replied, in a strangled voice.
“Not really. You just want to avoid the question.”
He made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat. After staring out at the glimmering water, he finally said, “Yes, I have been in love before. Are you happy now?”
“That’s all I get?”
“Were you hoping for some salacious details?”
Emma grinned. “Maybe.”
“Well, I think that’s enough for tonight.” He picked up her empty plate and started to rise out of his chair when she reached over and lightly touched his arm. Emma could see the struggle in his eyes, not to mention he kept clenching and unclenching his jaw. He appeared to internally bashing himself about whether to be honest with her.
Not wanting to cause him pain, she shook her head. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me. It was rude to ask.”
“No, no, I’ll give you the gory details,” he replied, easing back down.
Emma’s jaw dropped open. She couldn’t help leaning forward, expectantly waiting to hang onto every word. Between hearing about his parents and now his love life, so many pieces of Aidan’s puzzle were coming together.
“Her name was Amy, and we were fifteen. We were both on our high school’s swim-teams. She was my first relationship, my first sexual experience, and…” He fidgeted in his chair. “The first girl’s heart I broke.”
Emma’s own heart suddenly ached for a girl she didn’t even know. “Why did you break-up?”
“We dated through high school and tried making it work the first semester of college, but my heart just wasn’t in it anymore. More than anything, I didn’t want to be tied down. So I got the wandering eye.”
“She caught you cheating?”
Aidan rubbed his hands over his face. “Fuck, I can’t believe I’m telling you all this.”
“Please finish.”
“No, I broke it off before she found out. Then three years later, I ran into her at a friend’s wedding, and we started seeing each other again. Neither one of us were swimming competitively anymore, we had finished up college and were starting our careers. After another year together, the logical thing to do was…”
“Get engaged.”
He grimaced. “But as much as she wanted a proposal, I just couldn’t man up and do it. The thought of being tied to her the rest of my life made me physically feel choked.” His body gave a slight tremor. “And then I did something really, really shitty, so she broke up with me.”
“What did you do?” Emma questioned softly.
“She walked in on me ha**ng s*x with another woman.”
Emma’s hand flew to her mouth, and she stared at Aidan in horror. “That’s…so cruel.”
His expression darkened. “Yeah, in case you didn’t get the memo, I’m an ass**le, remember?”
“But you can be so kind and considerate. The very fact I’m not at home alone, crying into a pint of Ben and Jerry’s proves that. Instead, I’m sitting here eating the dinner you cooked and wearing your clothes. That’s true compassion.” She shook her head sadly. “Those are the reasons why it’s so hard imagining you could do something so callous to someone you loved.”