Chapter 8
Breaking the rules feels great while you're breaking them, but horrible while you're paying for them.
Getting free time here is proving to be nearly impossible. After our classroom discussion, we're led back to our bit-tan and are instructed to pick a bunk and unpack. This is also a bathroom break time, but I'm not going in that place again until I absolutely have to. There really isn't unpacking to do because each of us only has a little cubby to put our stuff in--just big enough to fit my shampoo, conditioner, and makeup bag. I'll just have to live out of my suitcases while I'm here.
Because Jess, Miranda, and I got to the bittan late, Jess and I can't share a bunk. I sit on an unoccupied one.
"That's mine," Tori says, standing over me. "I called it first. You can have the top bunk."
I look around for an empty bottom bunk, but there aren't any left.
"That's fine," I say to Tori, who seems pretty pleased to boss me around. I would argue that I didn't hear her "call it first" or that I'm afraid of heights and I'll probably fall off the top bunk while I sleep, but all I want to do is find Avi. I couldn't care less about Tori and her bottom bunk.
Just when I think free time has begun, it's time for the next activity. Ronit hands out pillows, sheets, and a very thin wool blanket. For the next hour, she teaches us how to make our beds. We have to keep unsheeting and re-sheeting until we get the A-okay from Ronit that we've finally done it to IDF standards (picture tight hospital corners). I can tell you right now that making tight hospital corners on a top bunk is tons harder than on a bottom bunk.
My bunk is two away from Miranda's and across from Jessica's. I can tell it'll be close to impossible to have private late-night chats.
"Everyone line up outside!" Ronit yells. "Yala, zooz!"
I don't exactly know what "Yala, zooz means, but from her tone I guess it means "Come on, hurry up." I have a feeling I'll be hearing those words a lot while I'm here.
Jess pulls me aside before we go. "Switch bunks with me," she says. "You want a bottom bunk, right?"
"Yeah, but--"
"Well, it's right by the door so you can get fresh air." Jess is already bringing her stuff over to my cubby and switching my stuff out. "Just do it. We've got to hurry and get out outside before they make us do pushups. I hate pushups."
Liron and Ronit time how long it takes until we're all in formation outside. Ronit walks in front of us like a lion pacing in her cage. "It took you fourteen minutes. I think that's the worst I've ever seen! Next time," she says, "you'll do it in half the time--seven minutes. And then we'll cut it to three. March in formation to the cheder ocheliot dinner! Ready?" she barks out.
She must not expect us to respond, because immediately she starts chanting the small-yamean-smalls. We're all out of line and out of sequence, bumping into each other. Ronit stops us. She makes us go back to the barracks each time we screw up until we get it right. The guys, who have obviously mastered marching in formation, have been gawking at us the entire time from the entrance to the cheder ochel.
We've attempted to get there six times. We're all getting crabby and tired. The seventh time, we're almost there when I spot Avi. He's standing by the American guys, watching me. I get so excited and nervous to see him that I totally screw up and step right on the back of Tori's foot, so hard that her shoe comes off.
"Stop!" Ronit says, then sighs in frustration. "Okay, girls. Back to the bittan for another try!"
Tori grabs her shoe. "What a spaz" she mutters.
Is she kidding me? "Oh, like you're so perfect with your marching?"
Tori flips her fake blond hair over her shoulder. "I've been dancing since I was five. I know how to count off."
I don't tell her that I've been dancing since I was four. I want to talk to Avi before he's whisked off so I ignore her. We line up again, and this time I look at the back of Tori's head so I don't mess up. In the end, it takes us thirty-five minutes to walk the three minutes to the cheder ochel.
On our way into the building, I look for Avi again. I spot him talking to other soldiers. While everyone rushes to stuff their faces with mediocre food, I walk up to my boyfriend. "Can we go somewhere private?"
"Amy, I can't."
"What? You can't talk to your girlfriend alone? You can't kiss your girlfriend you haven't seen for five months?"
"If someone catches us--"
"Let's go somewhere alone. For just a minute, Avi. Please."
Before I even finish the word "please," Avi takes my hand and quickly whisks me away to a private alcove on the side of another building without windows. My mom says rules are made to be broken... or at least stretched.
My stomach is in knots, and I tell myself not to be emotional. I'm also very aware that we could be in big trouble if we're caught.
But looking at Avi's face brings me back to the first day I met him. He was working at the sheep pens on the moshav, lugging bales of hay. I was afraid of the huge herding dogs running toward me so I leaped into the pens for safety. Instead of landing on the soft hay, I landed on Avi. He broke my fall. When I opened my eyes, I was staring into the most mesmerizing eyes I'd ever seen.
Being here with him, alone, makes me forget about rules and regulations. It's times like these I'm happy that I live in the gray areas of life. Being with Avi makes everything that's crappy in my life bearable.