"But I want to explain." I pretend to be busy picking up baskets of bread to set on the tables as I talk, sparing myself from looking directly at him. "So, um, there were bees stuck in the jam. And when Nathan pinched my butt by accident, I twirled around and jam landed on my sleeve. He licked it off, not knowing there was a bee stuck in it."
"He didn't do anything by accident, Amy. Tell Nathan to keep his hands off your tachat. And while he's at it, tell him to keep his tongue away from you, too."
"You jealous?"
"Why should I be? I have Liron, right?"
"Right. And I have Nathan, right?"
He shrugs. "I don't know, you tell me. You've obviously had his tongue down your throat multiple times."
Oh, that was low. How dare he turn this around and make me the bad person, when he's probably been playing "battling tongues" with Liron! "Yeah, well, he might be tongue-challenged at the moment, but normally he's the best." I emphasize the last two words for effect. If Avis tight, white knuckles are any indication, I think I've accomplished my goal.
"Amy?" He says, his voice laced with frustration.
I cross my arms on my chest (actually under my chest, because my boobs are so big). "What?" I know we're about to have it out, right here in the middle of the IDF cafeteria.
The door between the kitchen and dining area opens. It's Jess and Ethan, bringing out the baskets of bread. Both stop in their tracks, obviously sensing the massive amount of tension in the room.
"Everything okay in here?" Jess asks.
I narrow my eyes at Avi. "It's all peachy. Avi and I were just discussing the art of a good kiss."
"While that might be fascinating at another time, we have baskets of bread we need to put out. Help us," Jess says.
I see something, out of the corner of my eye, on one of the pieces of bread in the basket Jess is holding. "There are a couple of ants crawling on the bread."
Jess shrugs. "Noah said to consider them spices."
Chapter 15
Insects, whether they're bees or ants, should not be eaten alive.
Breakfast is half over when Nathan reappears.
"How's your tongue?" Miranda asks once he reaches our table.
Nathan shrugs. Noah is standing behind him. "He says it hurts to talk. The nurse told him the swelling should go down in a few hours."
"That's what you get for pinching my butt. God was punishing you."
He gives me the finger as he takes a seat beside me.
"God's gonna punish you for that, too."
Across the table, Miranda slams down her cup of milk. It splashes all over her uniform, but I don't think she notices.
"Amy, leave him alone. Don't you think he's dealing with enough without you making him feel worse?"
"I was just kidding, Miranda."
"Yeah, well..." Miranda looks around, realizing she's causing a scene. Miranda's not used to creating drama. Her voice shakes as she says, "Maybe Nathan doesn't know you're kidding."
"Nathan and I joke around all the time. We always do."
Nathan puts his arm around me, nods, and smiles.
"Oh," Miranda says, slowly sitting back down. She doesn't look up until we're done eating and dismissed from breakfast.
On the way back to the barracks, I catch up to Miranda. "I know why you're pissed with me. You have the hots for Nathan."
She glances sideways at me. "So?"
Wow, I'm right. I mean, I got the idea when she went all ballistic on me, milk splattered on her face during breakfast. But I still can't believe it.
"I'm not really dating him, you know."
Miranda stops and turns to me. "Then who are you dating, Amy? Because you seem to be dating guys you hate, and hating guys you date, and hating girls who like the guys you date, or hate, and--"
My brain is on overload. "You lost me. I'm confused."
"That makes two of us." She stomps away from me.
I hurry to catch up. "What do you want me to do? I hate you being mad at me."
"I don't know. I have no claim to Nathan. He doesn't even like me."
"Are you double-jointed?"
"What?"
"Are you double-jointed?"
"No. In case you haven't noticed, I'm fat and had to step on people's backs in order to complete the monkey bars at the obstacle course."
"So did I. And you're not fat, Miranda."
She picks up her shirt and grabs her bulging stomach. "What do you call this?" To be honest, I've seen people way bigger.
Umm... Umm... "I call it extra.'"
"Extra what?"
Oh, I hate being put in a corner I can't get out of gracefully. "Just extra'."
She pulls her shirt down. "Well, I call it fat. Nathan isn't going to like me. Did you see his last girlfriend, Bicky? She was rail thin."
"Miranda, she was a druggie. That kind of thin is not attractive."
"Neither is this extra thirty pounds I carry around. And no matter how much I try to get rid of it, I cant. Because I crave sweets, and once I start eating I can't stop. Do you know what it's like not to be able to stop doing something you know isn't good for you?"
"Sure I do."
She puts her hand on her hip, totally unconvinced.
"Well, I know I do and say things that hurt other people," I tell her. "I can't stop it sometimes. It's a protective thing. You know, so I hurt people before they have a chance to hurt me. Don't let anyone else know, but I've got issues."