"You're not just some old lady," I tell her while I give her a gentle hug. "You're my safia. How are you feeling?"
"Like an old lady." Her wrinkled, frail hand reaches out and fingers the tiny Jewish star diamond pendant around my neck. She gave it to me last summer during my visit. "I'm so happy you're wearing it."
"I wear it every day. It reminds me of you."
She smiles that sweet grandma smile that makes me feel like everything in my life will be okay. "Are you having a nice vacation?"
"Well, being on the army base hasn't been much of a vacation. Avis my unit leader," I say, gesturing to Avi over by the window.
"Avi, come closer. I can't see you all the way over there," Safia says, waving him over. "My eyes aren't what they used to be."
Avi kisses my safia on the cheek. He's known her since he was born. Last night he told me she's like a second grandmother to him. "Mah nishmah? --How are you?"
"Beseder --I'm fine. I got a little dizzy. I wish my children wouldn't declare it a national emergency."
"Ima, stop talking nonsense," my dad interrupts her as he comes into the room. "You were unconscious when Yucky found you. Don't brush it off as if nothing happened."
She shoos my dad away. "Go eat something in the cafeteria, Ron, and leave me alone with the young teenagers here." My dad starts to protest, but gives up when she raises her eyebrows and makes another "go away" hand gesture.
Ooh, I can just imagine her staring at him with raised eyebrows when he was a kid. My dad is a total guys' guy --muscular, masculine, and full of testosterone. Knowing that his frail old mom can make him back off with a raised eyebrow and a hand gesture amuses me to no end.
Once my dad is out of sight, Sofia turns to Avi. "Is my granddaughter a good soldier?"
Yeah, umm... no need to let my sweet, old, sick grandmother know I suck at being a soldier. I mean, seriously, the woman dressed as a boy to fight on the front lines. Knowing that her own flesh and blood can't even scale a wall or aim a gun without having a few stray bullets hit other people's targets could kill her. I take Sofia's hand and pat it. "Why don't we talk about something else?" Preferably a topic that doesn't have to do with what a spaz I really am.
"She's definitely challenging herself," Avi says to Sofia. "Right, Amy?"
"I shot an Ml6," I say, but don't tell her I hit other people's targets more often than my own.
"I did the obstacle course," I continue, but don't tell her I had to be escorted up the rope and had to step on people's backs during my first attempt on the monkey bars.
"I even picked bees out of the jam when I had kitchen duty." I don't mention the whole bee/Nathan/tongue incident, either.
She fingers the bandages on my arms. "What happened to you?"
"Yeah, that. I went on a night run up a mountain. The mountain and I kinda got into a fight. The mountain won."
"That's not true," Avi tells her. "Amy won. She took a hard fall, but kept going."
I guess he's right. I'm still new at looking at things in a positive light.
Sofia rubs her fingers over my fingernails, which are totally trashed from boot camp. "I'm so proud of you, Amy."
"Me, too," Avi adds.
"Avi needs to be back at the base tomorrow," I tell her. "He only got a forty-eight-hour leave."
"Aren't you still supposed to be there?"
"Yeah, but I'm not going back. I want to be here with you."
"For what?" my safta asks.
I don't want to say it. I can't talk about death with the person I'm afraid is dying. "For you. What if, you know, you're really sick?"
"I'm not going to die so quickly, motek --sweetheart. But even if I did, I'd die happier knowing you're doing what you're supposed to do--live--instead of watching an old lady die." Safta, who seemed so weak a second ago, points her small finger at me. Her face gets stern and spunky, and it's another glimpse into her life as a woman ready to fight for something she believes in. "You're Amy Nelson-Barak. Do you know what Barak means in Hebrew?"
I shake my head.
"It means 'lightning.' Amy, you're a true Barak, inside and out. You have a fighting spirit. No Barak is a quitter, you hear me? Now, make me proud and go back to finish boot camp... and be a Barak."
I think my safia can give Sergeant B-S a run for his money.
Chapter 23
Who knew the best times of your life can come out of the worst situations?
We stay at the hospital all day, waiting for test results. Her white blood cell counts were low, but rose as the day wore on. Tomorrow, her doctor plans to do full scans to make sure her cancer hasn't spread, but my dad assures me her life isn't in immediate danger.
After we get back to the moshav and Doda Yucky makes dinner for us, I make the final decision to go back and complete boot camp. Soon I'm saying my goodbyes to my family while Avi says his goodbyes to his. Before my own family has time to miss me, I'll have graduated boot camp and be back on the moshav. Avi's family isn't so lucky. After my Sababa group graduates, Avi and the rest of the Sayeret Tzefa trainees are going to intense training at the Counter
Terror School. The time with the Sababa group was supposed to be a relaxing break for them between parachuting and Counter Terror School. Unfortunately for Avi, I don't think being with my unit has been relaxing.