He leans on his elbow and stares down at me. "I didn't tell you this before, but I think you've been a great leader on the base."
"You're just saying that because you love me."
"I do love you. But that's not why I said it. People listen to you."
"Me? Yeah, right. It's a wonder I haven't been kicked out of the program."
"You sell yourself short. Every time your team is standing around looking for some direction, you come up with a strategy. Like suggesting taking turns with the ditch digging. And suggesting people kneel on the ground during the monkey bars on the obstacle course. Whether you believe it or not, you're a born leader."
I guess I never thought about that before. I reach up and cup his cheek. "How come you can see the good parts of me I don't even see in myself?"
"Because you're too busy focusing on negative stuff. You should stop doing that."
"I've been trying. It's kinda hard for me." I lean forward, put my hand on his bare chest, and kiss him. "I'm what you call a work in progress."
"That makes two of us." He puts his arms around me. We kiss. And kiss again. His lips are soft on mine. When he deepens the kiss and his tongue reaches for mine, the tingling sensation zings right down to my toes and back up again. I could kiss this boy forever. His kisses make me as hot as my flat iron, and I toss the covers away. My fingers trail paths around his body and his do the same. All the while, our breathing is getting faster and my pulse is racing in excitement. Our legs are intertwined, skin against skin.
I feel Avi's pulse racing too, as my palm explores his chest and abs.
Being close to Avi, his body against mine, is the best feeling in the world. It's better than eating spicy tuna sushi rolls with little pieces of crunchy tempura inside, better than drinking hot chocolate with loads of whipped cream, better than winning a tennis match.
"What are you thinking about?" he asks as I moan under his touch.
"Sushi, hot chocolate, and tennis."
"You're thinking about food? And tennis?"
He pulls away, but I take his hand in mine and weave my fingers through his. "No. I'm thinking about how being with you is better than sushi, hot chocolate, and tennis. What were you thinking about?"
A short laugh escapes from his mouth. "It sure wasn't hummus, falafel, and soccer."
I open my fingers so we're palm against palm. "Avi, what if we get carried away tonight?"
"We won't."
"But what if I want to? My mom bought me protection before I left, just in case. It's in one of my suitcases."
Avi takes a deep breath and leans away from me, the cool air rushing to the open space between us. I want to pull him back so his body heats mine again. Instead, I grab the covers and pull them over us. I don't know if I'm shivering from nervousness or the chilly night air.
"I'm not gonna lie to you," he says seriously. "I'm ready. Like right now, I'm ready."
"I think I am, too."
"Your body might be, but I know in the morning you'll regret it. And then I'll feel like crap because I knew you'd regret it." He rubs his hands over his head and moans in frustration. "You said a while back that you wanted to wait until we got married. I promised to respect that."
"I changed my mind."
"What?"
"You heard me. I changed my mind."
"Amy, you hated that you were an illegitimate child. It eats at you every day, and I think sometimes it fuels this insecurity you have. What if it happens to us? You'll never forgive yourself. Or me."
"Can you not be logical now, Avi? You're kind of ruining the mood." I sit up, thinking how right Avi is and how wrong I am. How can I let my overactive hormones rule my life? Though I must say it's kind of easy when Avis expert fingers are strumming my body like a guitar. "Avi?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm not tired anymore. Are you?"
He shakes his head.
"We can still kiss and do other things, can't we? Remember at my house on the sofa, when my dad was working late? Can we try that again?"
Seriously, it's not like Avi and I haven't fooled around. We have. In fact, I've gone farther with Avi than with any other boy I've dated.
Avi's hands circle my waist and he guides me on top of him. My long hair shields his face as I look down at him. "Ani ohevet o'tach," I tell him.
"You just said I love you to a girl. Oat'cha is for a boy."
"Ani ohevet oat'cha."
"Ani ohevet o'tach. I love you, Amy Nelson-Barak."
We kiss, and I start to move against him. My pulse is racing, and Avi's heart is pounding against my skin... and the earth is shattering into two pieces.
No, seriously.
The earth is shattering.
And we're falling.
I realize pretty quickly, through my haze of teenage sexual lust, that the earth isn't moving. Our beds are. They're moving apart and Avi and I are falling in between them. Before I know it, Avi falls to the hard cement tile floor. I'm straddling him, so lucky for me his body breaks my fall.
"Ouch," Avi says, his head banging on the tile. "I think I just got a splinter from the bed frame."
"Do you think this was a sign from God?" I ask. We are in the Holy Land. God can't be far away.
"More like a sign from your dad," Avi says, helping me up. "He always warns me not to touch your parts."