But we're soldiers now. And Israeli soldiers eat Loof, no matter how bad it is. I plug my nose with my fingers, scoop out a chunk, and eat it. "Mmm. Yummy."
"Really?" Jess asks.
"No, not really. It's absolutely disgusting. But we're Jewish warrior women, right?"
Jess nods. Miranda nods. Even Tori nods. "Right!" they say in unison.
We look at Nathan. "Don't look at me. I'm no warrior woman. I'm not eating it."
Tori takes a tester bite from her little can. Miranda and Jess do, too. We all eat the Loof as if it's a rite of passage.
"Nathan, don't be a loser. Eat it," Tori says, tossing him a fork.
Not wanting at provoke Tori's wrath, even Nathan chows down. He's a warrior too, after all.
A truck with a pile of sleeping bags in the back is waiting for us. We're instructed to grab one and find a spot on the ground to sleep. Tori, who I haven't had a chance to talk to in a while, comes up to me.
"So how's your grandma?" she asks.
"Alive. I think she's okay, at least for now." I see a bandage on her neck that wasn't there when I left the base two days ago. "What happened?" I ask, pointing to it.
"You promise you won't laugh?"
"I promise."
Tori says, "I got stung. By a worker bee."
I suppress a laugh. "I thought you said they don't sting."
"Obviously I got my facts wrong. Subject over."
Time to start a new subject. I crane my head, looking for Nathan. Ronit is handing him a small shovel. Gross-- he's about to dig himself a hole to poop in. He's probably about to Poop the Loof. I shudder thinking about it. "Listen," I tell Tori. "Nathan broke up with me."
"It probably had something to do with you staring at that guy Avi all the time," she says.
"No. It had something to do with you."
She looks at me like I'm crazy. "Me?"
"Yeah. Nathan likes you. He thinks you're pretty and fun...when you're not glaring, sneering, or insulting everyone."
Tori places her sleeping bag on the ground next to mine. "Nathan isn't my type," she says.
"Why not? Sure, he's a pain in the ass most of the time. But he's funny. And smart. And cute. And, to be honest, he's the best guy friend a girl could ever ask for. He's just about perfect."
Tori looks over at Nathan, coming back with the poop shovel. "Not interested."
I wave Nathan over to us. He tries to act cool as he says, "Hey. What's up? Mind if I sleep with you guys? I mean, uh, sleep next to you guys."
As he lays down his sleeping bag, head-to-head with Tori's with hope in his eyes, I tell him the truth. "Tori says you're not her type."
Tori nods to Nathan, emphasizing my statement.
"Did you tell her I was good in bed?" he asks.
I. Can't. Believe. He. Said. That.
Tori's eyebrows go up. "You guys had sex? she asks me, just as Jessica lays her sleeping bag alongside ours.
Oh, man. I'm the one who's gonna need the poop shovel now for the flying bullshit about to come out of my mouth. I say a silent prayer for God to forgive me for lying. "Yeah. Nathan is better than... better than... better than eating a black olive without the pit."
Nathan looks at me as if I'm a total mashed potato. Jess shakes her head in disbelief. I couldn't think of anything else to say. I hate olives in general, so having sex with Nathan has got to be better than eating olives, with or without the pits.
Tori gives him one of her sneers. "I think I'll take a pass," she says tardy.
"Give me a chance," Nathan responds quickly.
"Why should I?"
Nathan kneels next to her and a sincere look washes over his face. "Because for some reason I've been itching to put a smile on your face since I met you."
"Nobody can do that."
"Won't you let me try?"
I see Tori's face softening. "You can try, but I guarantee it won't work."
"Ooh, I love a challenge." Nathan slides into his sleeping bag and rests his chin on his fists, facing Tori.
"Are you gonna watch me sleep?" she asks, trying to sound annoyed. I notice she's not sneering, which is a good sign.
"Yeah. Watching you helps me think up lyrics to my next song. After boot camp, I'll take out my guitar and sing it to you."
Tori wipes at her eyes. Obviously nobody's ever done anything like that for her. She needs Nathan, whether she believes it or not. And he needs her.
I look around for Miranda. She's usually with us, but we're all settled and she's nowhere to be seen. I finally see her in a deep conversation with someone a few yards away--Noah. He's smiling at her. And laughing.
I slide into my own sleeping bag (after opening it and checking for snakes and scorpions) and bring George II inside it with me. George is cold on my unshaved legs, the hard metal of the barrel reminding me where we are and why we're here. Once again I think of Avi, and what military exercises he's been pulled off base to do.
"Are you wearing your bra?" Jess whispers.
"Yeah. Aren't you?"
"The wire was poking into my side, so I took it off and shoved it to the bottom of the sleeping bag. Remind me to reach down and get it in the morning."
My bra isn't at all comfortable to sleep in, but I'm keeping it on. I put a sports bra on before we left, which I'm perfectly aware makes me look like I have a monoboob shelf in front of me. But it does the job of smashing my boobs down and together so they're not bobbing up and down like a buoy in Lake Michigan when we run. Bouncing boobs is not an option.