Of course, squished boobs are not the most comfortable way to sleep. But whatever. I'm smelly from not showering, I don't have my favorite pillow, the sweat between my squished boobs is itchy, and I've got a metal rifle named George II in the sleeping bag with me. The old Amy would whine and complain. The new and improved Amy sucks it up.
As I lie here sucking it up, trying to sleep but with my eyes wide open, I glance over at Tori. I see her hand sneak out to tentatively touch Nathan's. He weaves his fingers through hers without saying a word and they fall asleep holding hands.
Which only reminds me of last night, when Avi and I fell asleep holding hands.
Argh. I can't sleep. All I can think about as I look up at the twinkling stars above me is Avi.
"I can count every single rock under me," Jess whispers. "How do they expect us to sleep?"
Now that Jess mentions it, I can feel every rock and pebble under my own body. "Maybe if we clear out the big ones it won't be as bad," I say, reaching under my sleeping bag for the big rock sticking into my backside.
Jess whimpers as she shuffles her body around. "Ouch. Remind me never to complain about my life back in Chicago."
"And remind me to appreciate my dad more. He probably had to sleep like this all the time when he was an Israeli commando," I say. "But the stars are so cool. Why don't we see as many stars back home?"
"Probably because we live near civilization," Jess says.
We both stare up into the sky. Seriously, there must be billions of stars above us. After a minute, a streak shoots through the sky. It's there and gone before I know it, making me wonder if I've even seen it at all.
"Was that what I thought it was?" Jess asks.
"I saw it, too. I've never seen a shooting star before."
"Me, either. Should we make a wish?"
I wish... (I can't tell you, because then it might not come true. But I bet you can guess.)
As we're whispering, I have the sudden urge to pee. "I've got to go to the bathroom. Come with me."
"No way," Jess murmurs. "I'm not risking getting bitten by a night creature. Wait until morning."
I try to settle back in my sleeping bag. But since I'm not able to sleep, and I hear people snoring (Nathan is like his own little symphony), I take George II and decide to wander away from camp to find a perfect spot to squat. I need to find a place far enough away that I can take my panties and pants off, so I don't make them grosser than they already are.
Eventually I find a large, flat rock jutting out from the ground. Thankful for the little light the billions of stars offer and for the fact I don't have to dig a hole in order to pee, I situate half of my butt on the rock and the other half, well, you get the idea.
As I relieve myself, I hear little pop-pop-pops in the distance. Like gunfire. "We're in Israel, on the grounds where the military does its training operations... can Avi be just a few hundred yards away? In the past, gunfire would freak me out, but now it's getting to be a familiar sound. I'm getting desensitized to it. Freaky, I know.
I must look ridiculous naked, from the waist down, sitting with half my butt on a rock and the other half hanging off--with an M16 strapped to my back while I'm intently listening to gunfire. If Avi could see me now (not that I'd let him see me pee, ever), he'd be proud that I'm roughing it without complaining.
If the Sayeret Tzefa trainees are on some sort of outdoor firing range doing night exercises, maybe I can say a quick goodbye to him. I'm aware it might not be the best idea, but I'm thinking positively. As I put my pants back on, I take a few steps toward the popping sounds.
When I hear more popping sounds, I hurry closer. Live ammo this close to the army base means training exercises, not war.
I've been walking for over ten minutes, praying that a snake or desert creature doesn't think I'm their midnight snack. I wish I had my headlight with me so I could see better. Despite the stars, the desert has too many scary shadows. I don't know if my eyes are playing tricks on me or if the rocks are really moving snakes and coyotes.
I climb up and over a steep hill. I think the firing range must be close, because the gunfire is getting louder.
As I maneuver around a big boulder blocking my path, a large, strong hand clamps over my mouth.
I try to scream as loud as I can, but the hand around my mouth tightens and my attempts at screaming are useless. I'm spun around with the force of a tornado.
Chapter 27
Brilliance and stupidity are probably as closely related as love and hate.
As I'm twirled around so fast it makes my head spin, I'm face to face with an Israeli soldier. Even with his black mask and black clothes, I know it's Avi. I can see his eyes shining through the holes in his mask. I'd know those sexy eyes anywhere.
"Amy?" he whispers.
My panic starts to subside, but my pulse is still racing frantically. "Hi," I say sheepishly. "We were sleeping in the desert somewhere over there." I point in the approximate direction of our campsite. "And I heard gunfire so I thought you might be over here doing night range shooting. I know I smell because I didn't shower today. And I have sweaty cleave from my monoboob. And my under- wear is full of rock dust that chafed my buttcheeks when I sat on the rock and peed. But I wanted to see you one last time before I went back to Chicago."
"First of all, never go toward the sound of gunfire. Ever. You hear me?" he says sternly.