“It happens to be so.” He grinned.
So under the cover of a man-made waterfall in one of the most bustling parts of Manhattan, I told Angelo everything. Making friends with Roux, taking care of Roux at the party when she was too drunk to blink, barely being able to find the safe, and then how Jesse and I took Roux home.
“Angelo? I did something really bad.”
“Is anyone dead?”
“What? Of course not. Not because of me, anyway.”
“Then it cannot possibly be as bad as you think.”
I paused before mumbling, “I kissed Jesse Oliver. And not because I wanted to get information from him. Because I wanted to kiss him.”
Angelo pursed his lips before sitting back and nodding. He looked pissed, and disappointing Angelo was the worst feeling in the world. “I’m so sorry!” I said, the tears coming all over again. “I didn’t mean to, it just happened! I think I like him, but I’m lying to him and to Roux, too. And now I’ve been lying to you and to my parents! I’m a lying liar who lies!”
“Maggie, Maggie.” Angelo put his hand on my knee. “No, no, my darling. I’m not mad or upset. It would be quite hypocritical of me to be upset with you.”
“W-what?” I stammered. “Why would you be a hypocr—? Oh my God!” I slammed my hand over my mouth. “Did you once kiss an assignment, too? Did you fall in love?”
“It was a very long time ago,” Angelo admitted, and I put my other hand over my mouth when he said that. I was pretty sure that if my eyes got any wider, they would have fallen out of their sockets. “Many, many years ago,” he continued. “Before you, even. An ancient era. But yes. He was my assignment and he was quite lovely, and well.” He shrugged. “I suppose you can guess what happened next.”
“Did you make out on a stoop on the Upper East Side while eating ice cream on Halloween night?” I asked.
“Not quite. We kissed in Paris while watching a film noir festival.”
“Wow. Wow. Okay, so what happened? Did you break up after you got the info? What did you do? Did you keep any journals during this time, by any chance? Because I could really use a manual.”
Angelo laughed. “We had a lovely time together for a while, but then we came to a fork in the road, and we both chose a different path. A bit of sadness at the time, but no regrets. We still have coffee whenever I’m in Paris.”
“Did you get the information you needed from him?”
“I did, yes. And no, he didn’t know I was a spy, either. He still doesn’t. He thinks I’m an art dealer.” Angelo smiled and I realized that the smile wasn’t for me, but for the Parisian man across the ocean. “My point is, though, it happens to the very best of us. We can train everything but our hearts.”
“That’s a little cheesy, Angelo.”
“I agree. But do you see? Love makes fools out of us all.”
“Well, it gets worse,” I told him. “I’m going on a date with Jesse tomorrow night. Like, a date date. I can probably get more information about his dad but …”
“But that isn’t why you said yes to the date,” Angelo guessed, and I nodded.
“I just … he’s nice and he’s cute and funny and it doesn’t seem fair to punish him for whatever his stupid dad is doing. And he’s even nice to Roux and no one’s ever nice to her.” I was starting to cry again. Apparently liking someone can make you really emotional. “And I know that as soon as this is over, we’ll go on another assignment and I’ll have to leave. I just didn’t think it would be this hard. It’s like I keep telling my parents, locks aren’t like people.”
Angelo let me cry for a few seconds before carefully putting both of his hands over mine. “Maggie,” he murmured. “There’s something that neither your parents nor I have said to you yet, and for that, I apologize. We should have told you this earlier.”
“Am I adopted?”
“No, no, darling. We never told you how hard it would be to do this assignment. There is always a choice, but I’m afraid we never prepared you to make it.”
I looked up at him, still clutching his handkerchief in my fist. “But the Collective …”
“They will always find a new person to take a job. I know you said yes because you wanted to prove yourself, but as I said, there is always a choice.”
I nodded. “I know that,” I told him, and I did, but it was still nice to hear him say it. “I just wanted to show you guys that I could do it.”
“I know you can,” Angelo assured me. “You have always been the same capable girl who learned how to pick my front door lock when she was three years old.” He smiled at me, forcing me to smile back a little. “And now you know that this is what it’s like. All the training in the world can’t prepare you for a secret life. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be honest with people.”
“I’m trying to be as honest as I can be,” I said. “I haven’t actually lied to Jesse about anything. I just haven’t told him the whole truth. My parents, though. I haven’t even told them about the date yet. They’re going to murder me when they find out.”
“Don’t worry about your parents,” Angelo said. “I have faith in them just as I have faith in you. You leave them to me.”
“Thanks,” I said. “I mean it, really. I don’t have anyone else to talk to about all this.”