But I can’t find the willpower to get up from the bed. To lose face and admit weakness. So I sit scowling. More angry at myself than at her.
“If you ever want to talk, I’m here,” she says. “I mean it.”
“Thanks,” I mumble, staring at my shoes, barely able to get the word out.
Mom pauses at the door. “I’m supposed to go out tonight, but . . . well, if you’d prefer I stay home, I will.”
I look up. “Out?”
Mom’s face gets red. “With David.”
Great. She’s still seeing David. Could my day get any worse?
“I don’t think you should go out tonight . . . or ever,” I mutter. “Not with him.”
“Rayne, why? He’s really nice. What do you have against him?” Mom lets out a frustrated breath. I can tell she’s trying hard to be nice to me still, but at the same time she’s ready to wring my neck. “Is it ’cause you feel he’s going to replace your father?”
OMG! Does EVERYTHING in my freaking life have to revolve around Dad?
“Do you think I’m stupid?” I yell, scrambling to my feet, absolutely furious that she would even say such a thing. God, I wish that punching bag was here right about now. “Do you really think I’m holding out some kind of inane hope that the guy’s gonna suddenly show up at our doorstep and want to be a family again? That’s crazy, Mom! Really crazy!”
Mom takes a step backward, her eyes wide. I think she’s afraid of me. Great. I’ve made my own mother afraid of me. I am a loser. Such a loser.
“Then what is it, Rayne? What’s wrong with David?”
“There’s nothing wrong with him. Nothing except for the fact that he’s an evil vampire and I don’t want him to kill you.”
There. I said it. Let her deal with reality for once. I’m sick of sheltering her from the truth and looking like an idiot. Then again, in hindsight, telling one’s mother that she’s dating an evil vampire is probably not the best way to keep from looking idiotic.
Mom stares at me, her eyes narrowing and her lips pressed together tightly. She pauses for a moment and then speaks slowly and deliberately. “So you’re trying to tell me that I shouldn’t date David because he’s a vampire.”
“An evil vampire. If he was one of the good guys, I’d have no issue with it. In fact, I think it’d be kind of cool.”
Realization lights on Mom’s face. “Is that what you two were doing the other night with the garlic and the rosary beads?” she asks in a tight voice.
“Well, yes. Actually it was. It was a test. And he failed. Or passed—however you want to look at it. Bottom line, he is a vampire, Mom. And I don’t think it’s wise for you to be dating him because—”
“Rayne, this has gone far enough,” Mom interrupts. “You obviously need help. I’m sending you back to Dr. Devlin. In fact, I’m going to see if he has any last-minute openings for tomorrow.” She turns and storms out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
I slump back into my bed, tears of frustration springing to my eyes. Great. Just great. Now, in addition to Mom risking her life with Vamp Nerd, I’m going to be sent back to Dr. Devlin, psycho psychiatrist.
Let this be a lesson to all of you. No matter what happens, never tell your mom she’s dating an evil vampire. It’s just not worth it.
25
DIARY ENTRY, TUESDAY, JUNE 12, 8 P.M.
I <3 Jareth and I Don’t Care What U Think!
Wow. So much has happened since I last wrote. Where to begin? I doubt I can write this as one big diary entry—it’d take me a week to type. I guess I can split it up into chapters. Not like anyone’s reading this anymore. Sigh. I kind of miss my blog. It feels lonely writing to myself. . . .
Luckily Dr. Devlin is booked up for about a month so I don’t have to waste the evening talking to him about the symbolism of my dreams or whatever. After detention I go straight home and go straight to my room, yelling down that I’m not interested in any dinner before slamming my door and blasting Snow Patrol from my stereo.
I turn off the light and lie on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. When Sunny and I were little we pasted glow-in-the-dark stars up there and there are still a few left, struggling to glow in their old age. It’s kind of comforting to look at them. To remember a more innocent time.
I let my mind wander over the past week. The excitement of Dad coming. The disappointment of Dad not coming. The fight with Mike Stevens. The fight with Mom. The finding out that I have a destiny. The finding out that I have to share that destiny with a vampire who hates me. The realization that the vampire maybe isn’t so bad.
I wonder where Jareth is. I haven’t seen him since Wednesday night. He told me he’d call me when the results of the donor’s blood came back from the lab, but it’s already Tuesday and I haven’t heard from him. Maybe he decided he’d be better off working alone. That he didn’t need me.
The thought brings on the tears again. Jeez. I feel like I’ve cried more in the last three days than I have the rest of my life combined.
I’m such an idiot. To think Jareth might actually like me. That he might have been jealous when he saw me dancing with that other vamp. That he might have made up that excuse to kiss me in the broom closet just so he could do it. That there might be some kind of future with him.
Dumb, Rayne. Truly dumb.
Of course he doesn’t want a future with me. What do I have to offer? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. My own father isn’t interested in a future with me. Why should Jareth be?