I stilled, pulling away just enough to speak, but not enough that my lips didn’t touch his even as I formed the words. “Is that a stake?” I asked. “Were you going to stake me?”
He tilted my head farther back so my fangs were visible. “Were you going to go for my jugular?”
We stared at each other for a long, hot moment that burned through me.
“Are you still going to college in Scotland?” I finally asked.
“Yes,” he said quietly.
“When?”
“Not until after New Year’s. I can’t leave my mom alone for Christmas; she’s always worse then.”
“Maybe it’s for the best.” I couldn’t believe I was saying that, even as I was still recovering from his kisses.
“Maybe it is.” And I really couldn’t believe he was agreeing with me.
“It could be pheromones, or just everything that’s happened,” I said, desperately trying not to feel the pain I was feeling. Why couldn’t we just lose ourselves in the fire again? When passion was enough, and the questions didn’t matter. “We don’t really know each other that well, technically.”
But I was lying to myself. My chest felt hollow, and I was aware of my heart in a way I hadn’t been since it had stopped beating. I hurt everywhere. We’d been each other’s bridge. We’d survived treachery, vendettas, and bounties.
But we couldn’t seem to survive each other.
I didn’t want to say good-bye but I didn’t know how else to protect him. I was no good for him. The next time I lost control, I might actually kill him.
“Good-bye, Kieran.”
His voice was husky, as if he were just waking up. “Good-bye, Solange.”
I choked back a sob. I wouldn’t cry. I turned on my heel and stumbled down the porch steps. The night was full of town noises: cars, dogs, radios. The wind scattered dried leaves across the empty road.
“Solange?”
I stopped but didn’t turn around. I knew we had to let each other go. But I also knew if I saw those patient dark eyes, the sun tattoo on his bicep, the regulation cargo pants, I’d throw myself at him. I only had the strength to leave if I didn’t look at him.
“You know the safe house we hid in when Hope’s unit had you?”
I nodded.
“There was an old tree there with exposed roots. Do you remember it?”
“Yes.”
“Those roots make great little hiding spots. If you ever need to send me a message,” he said, “if you need me, I’ll be there. You know that, right?”
I nodded again, my throat aching.
“I love you, Solange.”
“You don’t even know me anymore,” I said, because I barely knew myself. “I’m a vampire.”
“You were human when I met you,” he reminded me. “And you were brave and beautiful. You’re still brave and beautiful.”
I felt like crying. “I have to go.”
I ran to my bike, kicking it into gear even before I was perched on the seat.
Nicholas frowned at me, scrambling out of the tree. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing. I need to be alone.”
“I can’t leave you, Sol,” he said, jumping on his motorcycle and pulling up beside me. “You know that. Mom would kill us both.”
I leaned over, close enough that I could see his pupils even in the shadows. I concentrated as hard as I could, willing him to obey me. A bat dove down from the roof of Kieran’s house. The front door closed. “Leave me alone, Nicholas.”
He recoiled as if I’d slapped him. “Sol, don’t.”
Anger and confusion and hurt boiled inside me. “Just go away! Leave me alone!”
“Shit,” Nicholas croaked painfully. His eyes were furious and hurt. “You promised you wouldn’t ever do this to me again.” I could tell my pheromones were repelling him, as if we were oppositely charged magnets. He’d let me be tonight. He didn’t have a choice. His hands clenched, his shoulders tensed. “What the hell’s wrong with you? Where’s Kieran?”
I tossed him a fierce look before taking off down the street.
“We just broke up.”
Chapter 6
NICHOLAS
It was entirely possible that my baby sister was turning into a monster.
If anyone else had been doing this to her, I’d have staked them. But she was doing it to herself, which made it so much worse.
Because I couldn’t even stop her.
We’d been raised not only to protect each other but to protect her especially. I wasn’t just letting her down, but my entire family. The buzz of pheromones and adrenaline tingled through me, like a rash just under my skin. I wanted to go after her and shake some sense into her, but even taking a single step in the direction she’d fled made me feel as if there were spiders inside my veins. I couldn’t believe she’d done this to me.
Again.
Since I couldn’t go after her, I went back to Kieran’s. He opened the door before I’d even knocked.
“Maybe you didn’t hear,” he said bitterly. “We just broke up.”
“Yeah, what, three minutes ago? You stop loving her yet?” I knew damn well if Lucy broke up with me I’d still love her until I turned to dust.
Kieran sighed. “What do you want, Drake?”
“You know this is only going to get worse.”
He touched the bandage on his throat. “No shit.”