Thomas nodded, and she nodded. Then, she threw her arms around him. I couldn’t see her face, but I could see his, and as he held her, his pain could be felt from where I stood.
The same deep ache from before burned in my chest, and my shoulders pulled in. I crossed my arms over my midsection to camouflage the involuntary motion.
“So, you and Thomas…this is new?” Jim asked.
“Relatively new,” I said, still staring at Thomas and the woman clinging to him.
Trenton was no longer dancing. He was watching them, too, almost exactly parallel from me.
“Is the woman with Thomas…is that Camille?”
Jim hesitated, but then he nodded. “Yes, she is.”
After a full minute, Thomas and Camille were still wrapped in each other’s arms.
Jim cleared his throat and spoke again, “Well, I’ve never seen my boy so happy as when he introduced me to you. Even if it is new, it’s in the present…unlike other things…that are in the past.”
I shot a small smile in Jim’s direction, and he pulled me to his side with a squeeze.
“If Tommy hasn’t told you that yet, he should.”
I nodded, trying to process the dozens of emotions swirling within me at the same time. Feeling such hurt was quite surprising for a girl who was happily married to her job. If I didn’t need Thomas, my heart didn’t know it.
Chapter Seventeen
THOMAS’S EYES POPPED OPEN, and he looked directly at me. He released Camille, and without telling her good-bye or even giving her a second look, he walked past her, sweeping up a bottle of water on his way to where Jim and I stood.
“Did you interrogate her sufficiently while I was gone, Dad?” Thomas asked.
“Not as well as you would have, I’m sure.” Jim turned to me. “Thomas should have been a detective.”
Despite the uncomfortable proximity to the truth, I held a smile.
Thomas had a strange expression as well, but his features smoothed. “Are you having a good time, honey?”
“Please tell me that was good-bye,” I said. I didn’t try to keep Jim from hearing. It was an honest request, one that I could ask and still keep our cover intact.
Thomas gently took me by the arm and brought me to an unoccupied corner of the room. “I didn’t know she was going to do that. I’m sorry.”
I felt my expression crumble. “I wish you could have seen that through my eyes and then hear you say she’s in the past with my ears.”
“She was apologizing, Liis. What was I supposed to do?”
“I don’t know…not look heartbroken?”
He stared at me, speechless.
I rolled my eyes and pulled on his hand. “C’mon, let’s get back to the party.”
He pulled away from me. “I am, Liis. I am heartbroken. What happened is fucking sad.”
“Great! Let’s go!” I said, my words dripping with false excitement and sarcasm.
I shouldered past him, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me against him. He held my hand near his cheek and then turned to kiss my palm, closing his eyes.
“It’s sad because it’s over,” he said against my hand, his breath warm on my skin. He turned and looked down into my eyes. “It’s sad because I made a choice that has changed my relationship with my brother forever. I hurt her and Trenton and myself. The worst part is that I thought it was justified, but now, I’m afraid it was all for nothing.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, eyeing him warily.
“I loved Camille—but not like this, not like you.”
I glanced around. “Stop it, Thomas. No one can hear you.”
“Can you?” he asked. When I didn’t respond, he let go of my hand. “What? What can I say to convince you?”
“Keep telling me how sad you are to lose Camille. I’m sure that will eventually work.”
“You’ve only heard me say that it’s sad. You ignored the part about it being over.”
“It’s not over,” I said, laughing once. “It’s never going to be over. You said it yourself. You’ll always love her.”
He pointed to the other side of the room. “What you saw over there? That was good-bye. She’s marrying my brother.”
“I also saw you in pain about both.”
“Yes! It’s painful! What do you want from me, Liis?”
“I want you not to love her anymore!”
The music was in between songs, and everyone turned toward the corner where Thomas and I stood. Camille and Trenton were talking to another couple, and Camille looked just as humiliated as I was. She tucked her hair behind her ear, and then Trenton guided her to the cake table.
“Oh my God,” I whispered, covering my eyes.
Thomas glanced behind us and then pulled my hand down, shaking his head. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about them.”
“I don’t act this way. This isn’t like me.”
He puffed out a breath of relief. “I can relate. We tend to have that effect on each other.”
Not only was I not myself around Thomas, but he also made me feel things I couldn’t control. Anger boiled inside of me. If he knew me at all, he would understand that erratic feelings weren’t acceptable.
Being with Jackson, I could control my feelings. Yelling at him during a party would never have crossed my mind. He would have been shocked to see me lashing out.
When it came to Thomas, I was all over the place. My head was pulling me in one direction, and Thomas and my heart were pulling me in another. Unpredictable outcomes scared the hell out of me. It was time to bridle my emotions. Nothing was more frightening than being manipulated by my own heart.