I studied him, unsure what he was going to require.
“What if we tried another breakfast?” he asked. “Tomorrow morning.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s it?”
“That’s all.”
“I’m assuming you don’t want me to attend hungover this time?”
He chuckled, but he seemed preoccupied. “I don’t know. I kind of liked holding your hair.”
“I bet you did,” I teased. I looked over at him, not a trace of humor in my expression. “Full disclosure … I’m pretty sure this is a terrible idea.”
“Yeah,” Tyler said, looking down. “You’ve mentioned that. I know you’re trying to get your shit together, and I’m probably a risky friend to have during a transition … but, I don’t know, Ellie. I just like being around you.”
“Why? I’m mean to you.”
He grinned. “Exactly.”
I shook my head. “You’re weird.”
“You’re sort of beautiful with dirt on your face.”
I managed to use my remaining energy to breathe out a laugh. “I’m just going to say that’s a compliment and call it good, but I’m still going to take a shower.”
“I’m next,” he said.
I put my dirty plate in the sink, and then led Tyler upstairs, this time to my bedroom. He sat on the end of my bed while I undressed and turned the knob on the shower.
“I was thinking,” he called from the other room. “I’m getting pretty sick of the bar scene. There are so many other things to do here. All my friends drink, though.”
“Take it from me, that makes it difficult.”
“Maybe we should form a club.”
I stepped under the water, moaning as it washed over me. Hot showers in the middle of a national park with twenty other people were rare. Just because I didn’t complain didn’t mean I didn’t miss it. “Two people don’t make a club, Tyler.”
“Who cares?” he said, poking his head through the door. He faced the wall but spoke loud so I could hear. “We can do what we want.”
“A no drinking club? That sounds like the lamest thing ever.”
“Any club I’m in is fucking awesome.”
“If you say so.”
“So … breakfast?” he asked, a new spark of hope in his eyes.
I sighed. “I would be really, really bad for you.”
“Nah,” he said, waving me away. “Anyway, I’m a big boy. I can handle it.”
“I don’t need you to save me. I’ve got this.”
“Any other excuses?”
My eyebrows pulled together. “You’re sort of a dick when you’re not in the woods.”
“Rinse off already. It’s my turn.”
I wrung out my hair and pulled the towel off the rack, stepping out onto the mat. From the corner of my eye, I could see Tyler pulling his shirt over his head. He pulled his belt from the loops, and the buckle clanged against the tile before his jeans hit the floor. He walked across the room and opened the shower, stepping in under the water.
“Christ, this feels good,” he said.
I smiled, pulling a brush through my wet hair. I watched his reflection in the mirror lather the soap over his skin, and felt a familiar tingling between my thighs.
“What if this gets ugly?” I asked. “What if you hate me when it’s over?”
“Not gonna happen.”
“It did with Sterling.”
“I’m not going to make you trip balls, and then have sex with you.”
“So … friends?” I asked.
The water cut off, and Tyler stepped out, wrapping a towel around his waist. His Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed, and then he cleared his throat like he was about to make a promise he didn’t want to keep. “Friends.”
“Will you still stay?” I asked.
Tyler managed a small smile, the thoughts swirling behind his eyes clouding his irises. “I wasn’t going to try to sleep with you, anyway, Ellie.”
“No?”
“No. It’s just different now.”
I stood, stunned, unable to form a response. Whatever the ache was in my chest, I was sure it was something similar to a broken heart.
“C’mon,” he said, standing. “Let’s crash. I’m beat.”
He followed me to the bed, but there was a difference in the air between us. Tyler seemed more relaxed, as if the question was gone, the pressure eliminated. With the towel still wrapped around him, he crawled into my bed, turning onto his side.
I opened my dresser drawer and slipped on a pair of Calvins under my towel and then walked over to bathroom doorway, picking his T-shirt off the floor.
“Just leave it, Ellie. I’m going to wear it home in the morning.”
He watched me with confusion and then surprise when I slipped it over my head and padded over to the bed, climbing in next to him. He wrapped both arms around me, burying his nose in my hair, and sighed.
“You’re half naked, wearing my shirt. This isn’t exactly fair.”
I reached into my nightstand, and then turned to face him, staring into his eyes while I peeled open the package in my hand. “We can still be friends,” I said, reaching down, sliding my hand between the towel and his skin. He immediately hardened in my hand.
“I don’t know how to do this,” Tyler breathed, leaning in to graze his lips across mine while I slipped the latex over his skin. “This in-between shit, Ellie. I don’t think I can. You’re either mine, or you’re not.”