I frowned. “What if I am?”
“I hope Sofia really does get to escape this place. She really wants to, I think. She and Derek are so in love with each other.” Her gaze left me as she bowed her head. “I really hope she takes me with her. I want to go back to The Shade. Yuri is back there.”
The news about Sofia’s escape was something I found delightful, but I knew that asking further about the escape would draw suspicion. Claudia went on with her own soliloquy, spouting question after question, musing after musing. “Have you ever felt like you’re unworthy of the love of a man?”
Yes.
“He’s done everything for you and yet none of it seems to be enough…”
My life’s story.
“I’ve always felt that way about Yuri. He always came through for me. Always. And all I did was hurt him, betray him, and make a fool out of him for holding any affection toward a broken creature like me.”
Broken creature. The words struck such a chord with me, so much so that I couldn’t pry my eyes away from Claudia. She was echoing my very soul, verbalizing what I could never speak out. Suddenly, the little blonde vampire became fascinating.
“Then suddenly, you lose him,” Claudia continued, her gaze distant, her eyes moistening. “And you mess up so bad, you feel as if nothing you do could ever get him back. You start to wonder if he could ever forgive you, if he could ever love you again, but all the while, you know that you don’t deserve that love…”
She paused and I could practically feel exactly what she was going through, and I found myself finishing her sentence. “You don’t deserve it, but it doesn’t mean you don’t want it.”
Claudia nodded in agreement, her eyes shifting toward me in surprise. “Exactly. How did you know?”
“I feel the same way about someone.” The truth hurt. I found that truth always did hurt. I’m in love with Aiden. I will always be in love with him. There’s no escaping it, but it doesn’t mean that I have to be prisoner to that love. “Claudia, if you had the chance, would you try to go back to him and make up for everything? If he welcomed you with open arms…”
Her face lit up, hope sparking in her eyes. “Yes! I would do anything. I’ve been such a fool…”
I immediately saw the difference between me and Claudia. She wanted love more than she wanted power. I, on the other hand, chose power over love a long time ago. I stared at Claudia—someone I perceived to be strong, independent and capable, yet turned into a pathetic weakling by love. I refuse to be like her. I can’t be the way Camilla was—a whimpering housewife, lovesick over her husband. I don’t want to be the needy weakling she was when she was with Aiden. Not anymore. I’m Ingrid Maslen now. Camilla Claremont is long gone.
I looked at the room I was in, a favor I didn’t deserve—faint proof that Aiden still held affection for me. Should I choose Claudia’s path, I knew I could somehow get him back, but I also shuddered at the thought. Camilla was in love with Aiden. Not Ingrid.
If I’m to be Ingrid Maslen in all her glory and beauty, then Aiden is my greatest weakness. I swallowed hard at the next thought that gripped my convictions. That only means one thing… He must be destroyed.
CHAPTER 10: SOFIA
No matter how tired I was, there were nights when sleep completely eluded me. Moments spent with Derek haunted me. Is he safe at The Shade? If he is, why hasn’t he tried to get me back? Is he even thinking about me?
Sometimes, I’d get so overwhelmed with the questions, I could barely breathe. I would then hold the diamond pendant he gave me for my birthday, thumbing along its fine edges, drawing comfort from the promise that came with it: “I want you to have it. Wear it always. It will remind you of me. Take it as a promise from me—a promise that I will find a way to be with you.”
I didn’t know where he was or if he was in danger. I couldn’t understand why he thought it best to leave without even saying goodbye, but I was sure of one thing… I could never doubt his love for me. That was the hope that carried me to the next day.
Aside from Derek, one more thing bothered my every waking moment: I am the immune. It was one thing I didn’t know how to find the answers to. Telling the hunters about it didn’t seem like the best idea, considering how I had no clue how they would possibly react to me revealing that I should’ve been turned into a vampire many times, but here I am—so completely human still.
Only one other person at hunter headquarters knew that I was immune: Ingrid. The thought of speaking to her, however, made me shudder. I came to the point of desperation, however, and found myself asking my father to let me speak to her.
“Why on earth would you want to talk to that insane woman? The same woman who gave you as a gift to Borys Maslen, and still very much wants to, even now…”
“I want to speak with her. In private. No bugs.” I’d been at headquarters long enough to know that it was difficult to have any conversation in private.
“You can’t trust a word that comes out of her mouth, Sofia.”
At that, I couldn’t help but scoff. “You mean the same way I can’t trust a word that comes out of yours?”
He seemed genuinely offended by the comment. “Why is it so hard for you to believe that I’m on your side? I’m keeping you here for your own safety. I’m your father.”
“You say that like it means something. You’re my father by blood. So what? You abandoned me with the Hudsons for nine years, Aiden! And you said so yourself… Camilla practically offered me up as a sacrifice to Borys Maslen and she’s my mother!”