I’m just placing a pot of water on the stove when I hear the front door open. My heart sinks. Dammit. They’re home early!
“Lizzie?” Mom calls.
“In the kitchen!”
Footsteps echo in the hallway. It sounds like more than one set.
“Is Dad with you?” I call back. “I was just making us some dinner.”
“You were?” Mom enters the kitchen and looks at the counter in happy surprise. “What a lovely treat!”
I turn back to the stove so she can’t see my smile of satisfaction.
“Your father’s just parking the car. He finished his delivery earlier than scheduled. But dinner will have to wait, I’m afraid. We have something to discuss first.”
I tamp down my uneasiness and turn around to face her again. That’s when I see a flash of movement from the doorway. A second later, someone else appears.
It’s a police officer.
18
Dad is right behind him. The three adults stand in the kitchen, all of them staring at me.
A bolt of terror pins my feet to the ground. Am I getting arrested for going to see Chase? Can disobeying your parents be a crime? I swing my head toward Mom, wondering if I can get some mercy from her corner.
Dad gestures me forward. “Lizzie, come meet Nick Malloy. Officer Malloy, this is my daughter Elizabeth.”
I still don’t move, but I manage a weak “Hi.”
Mom brushes by me. “Can I get you something to drink, Officer Malloy?”
“No, thank you, and it’s Nick, remember?”
I swear he winks at her. Okay, he wouldn’t be winking at her if he meant to throw me in the slammer. Right?
Is this how Chase felt when the police arrived at his house the night he ran over Rachel? Or did he get arrested at the scene? I suddenly realize I have no idea how it all went down. I only remember the police showing up at our door to give us the devastating news. My mom falling to her knees and wailing in anguish. My dad clutching his chest as if someone had just torn his heart out of it.
Chase did that to us. He made my mother cry and he hurt my father. And I sat in his bedroom today and talked to him like we were best friends. I had sex with him.
Oh God, I feel like I’m going to faint. Or throw up. Or both.
“Elizabeth, Officer Malloy is here to help us with your school problem,” Mom says. She makes a face at me, one that says for me to get my ass into the living room.
I trudge over and tip my chin in Malloy’s direction.
Mom grows impatient and drags me to the couch, then forces me to sit down beside her. My unreasonable panic begins to recede. There’s no way that an arrest is going down this slow and easy. Since I don’t have a school problem, this must be about someone else.
Officer Malloy takes a seat next to me and places a file folder on the coffee table. He flips it open and pulls out a form. I read it sideways. Temporary Restraining Order.
“What’s happening right now?” I ask slowly.
Mom takes my hand. “This is for you.”
“But I don’t have any problems at school.”
Officer Malloy frowns and taps his cheap ballpoint against the folder. “No problems?”
“Oh, Lizzie would never complain,” Mom says. “That’s why we need to do this.”
“This? What’s this?” I’m confused.
“So you aren’t being harassed at school?” Malloy asks.
“No, not at all.” The panic returns in a flood as I finally grasp what’s going on.
My parents want me to fill out police paperwork against Chase.
I bolt to my feet. “There’s nothing wrong at school. School’s fine.”
“Wrong,” Dad says rudely. “As long as Charles Donnelly is there, my daughter will never be safe.”
“Sit down, Lizzie,” Mom chides.
I do, but only because my legs are unsteady at the moment.
“Have you tried talking to the principal?” the officer inquires.
“Of course we have. We’ve been all the way up to the board of supervisors. Your boss, Mayor Stanton, is shouting about discrimination and lawsuits if we try to get him kicked out again.” Dad’s features are pinched. “Until he causes physical harm, damage to school property or anything that would warrant an expulsion, he stays.”
Good. I send a mutinous look at Officer Malloy. “And since he’s not bothering me, there’s no need for that.” I jab a finger at the form.
“Your parents said he intimidated you in the library,” the cop prompts. “Are you scared of him? Is that why you don’t want to report what happened? These restraining orders are here to protect you.”
I’m numb with shock. How do they know about the library thing? It happened today. Are they spying on me at school?
“Scarlett’s mother called me at work,” Mom explains, reading my confusion. “Scarlett told her he was harassing you in the library.”
Dammit. My lie is coming back to haunt me. I sink into the cushions and cover my face with my hands. “He wasn’t bothering me,” I say, but no one believes me.
“Obviously I called Principal Geary right away, but he said even if you came in and filed a complaint, it’ll be just a suspension because it’s Donnelly’s first bullying offense.”
I want to scream. Chase didn’t do anything wrong.
Except kill your sister.
Bile creeps up my throat. Over my fingers, I can see my parents staring at me. I sink deeper into the cushions, trying to find a way out of this.
But Mom takes my silence for distress. “Are you all right?” She frets. “I knew he was harassing you!” In a shrill voice, she addresses the cop. “We can’t wait until something dangerous happens. I’ve already lost one daughter.” Her hand flies to her throat.
Dad comes over and places a hand on her shoulder. “We’re not waiting, Marnie. We’re filing the restraining order.”
“I can certainly assist you with that,” Officer Malloy says gently. He turns to me. “Why don’t you describe what happened so that we can put this paperwork in front of the right judge?”
I feel even sicker. “No. I don’t want to do this.”
“Lizzie,” Mom says.
“It’s Beth.”
“Beth. It’s for your own protection.”
“He’s a menace to this town,” Dad says. “He’s reckless and—”
“It was an accident,” I interrupt and then glance at Malloy with imploring eyes. “You know about the case?”
He nods, because of course, he knows. Everyone in Darling does. It’s what my fucking family is known for.
“It was ruled an accident,” I remind him.
He nods again.
“This isn’t a crazed maniac roaming free. And trust me, I hate him, too.” The lie burns my throat on its way out. “But I don’t feel right saying I feel physically threatened, because I don’t.”
Dad looks on in disapproval.
I turn to my mother and grab her hand. “Please. I’m not in any danger. I was sitting in the corner of the library feeling sick because I skipped lunch. Chase was there and I was embarrassed that he saw me crying. I snapped at him. He...” I apologize mentally for my next lie. “He snapped back, and then Scarlett showed up. It was nothing.”
“It’s not nothing,” Dad thunders.
Mom, though, searches my face. I squeeze her hand and plead, “Please.”
“You really don’t feel in danger from him?”
“I don’t.” My tone is clear and even. “If that changes, I promise to let you know.”
She examines me for a few moments longer before coming to some internal determination. She nods and looks at Officer Malloy. “I’m sorry to have wasted your time, but we do appreciate the information you provided us with. I assume we can contact you again if we decide to go forward with the TRO?”
“Of course.” There’s a hint of relief in his voice.
We all get to our feet. For once, I don’t feel like a stupid kid. I told the truth, or most of it. Mom listened, and the outrageous injustice toward Chase was averted. All without crying, throwing a tantrum or freaking out. Act like an adult and maybe they’ll treat you like one was Chase’s advice.
To my surprise, it’s actually worked.
Dad walks Officer Malloy to the door while Mom stays with me in the living room.
“That was very mature of you.” She shakes her head slowly. “But he’s not a good boy.” Her voice catches. “I’m afraid.”
“Don’t be.” I’ve never felt the least bit endangered by him, but I can’t explain to Mom all the times that Chase has had opportunity to hurt me and hasn’t, because that would be grounds for locking me in the basement.
Dad comes back and doesn’t even look at us. He’s pissed.
“I’m going out,” he mutters. “Don’t wait up.”
Before either of us can object, he storms out of the house.
I always thought Mom was the one who couldn’t move on. After all, she keeps Rachel’s locker empty in the mudroom. She leaves Rachel’s bedroom completely untouched. She won’t let me have a dog because Rachel was allergic.
But Dad is the one who’s still clinging to his anger and hurt. He was the first one to cry for Chase’s blood after the accident. He pressed for a murder charge and raged for weeks when it was pleaded down to reckless homicide. It doesn’t matter that Rachel had run into the street without checking for cars. Chase had taken his baby.
Dad will never forgive him.
* * *
Mom and I eat dinner by ourselves. She makes grilled cheese sandwiches. I heat up tomato soup.
“How’s Scarlett doing? I haven’t seen her in a while. You two are still friends, right?”
“Yes. We’re good.” But I’m still worried about the way she snapped at me after Jeff offered to take me to the party. I don’t want our friendship to be on shaky ground; it’s one of the best things in my life right now. Scar and I have been best friends since kindergarten. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost her.