“That’s hilarious,” I say. “I’m riding in the race, so I must be a boy.” As Ake and Finney come closer, I let Dove trot around in a small circle to hide the fact that I can’t hold her in a full stop.
Ake shrugs, like he could’ve thought of better. Behind him, Finney’s bay crow-hops, crashing into the chestnut, who nearly stumbles into Dove. Dove’s fear shivers through the reins.
Ake laughs as Finney hurriedly gathers up his bay.
“Pisser,” Finney says, pulling his bowler hat down to restore his ego. He jerks his chin in my direction. “Come on, Kevin, let’s see what you got.”
“Don’t call me that,” I reply. He and Ake circle me; their horses dwarf Dove. They must know that it’s driving her to a frenzy. “And I was just finishing up.”
Finney says, “Come now, be a sport. They said you were a whip.”
“I’m not racing you right now,” I say. I grid my teeth into a smile. “But I’ll watch you boys.”
Ake laughs. It’s not a mean laugh, but it’s not a thoughtful one, either. He says, “Tommy says you’d race us.”
I find Tommy beyond them. He shakes his head.
“Then Tommy doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” I reply.
Finney asks, “Where are your balls?”
I need to get away. In the back of my head, I’m thinking that this is going to be a problem, that Dove’s going to have to deal with a lot more than this on the day of the race. But that’s a faraway concern. The more immediate one is that Dove is shaking and ready to break.
“You’re the one who said I have them, not me.” I glance behind me, looking to see if there’s room to back Dove away from them. A few drops of rain spatter across my face. The worst of it is that there’s nothing mean about Finney and Ake; they’re being just like Joseph Beringer. Only Joseph Beringer never teases me from the back of a massive capall uisce.
“The bookies are here,” Finney says, elbowing back toward the onlookers. “Don’t you want to show them something better than your forty-five to one?”
Finney lets his bay jostle into Ake’s mare again, and the chestnut shoves against Dove, hard. I hear teeth snapping and Dove squeals, the wind ripping through her mane. I cling to her as she rears. Behind her left ear, I see a shallow scrape where the capall’s teeth grazed her. The blood wells up in a dozen small drops.
“Give me some room!” I shout.
I’m simultaneously terrified and humiliated as I hear myself. It’s the voice of a scared little girl.
Ake and Finney hear it, too, because their faces change. Ake hauls on his chestnut’s reins so hard that she nearly rears. Finney kicks his bay away from Dove.
They’re both looking at me, Ake especially, with apologies in their expressions.
Dove lifts her head to the wind and whinnies, shrill and terrified. Ake keeps backing his horse away. I’m relieved to have distance between her and the capaill uisce, but at the same time, I’m ashamed down to my bones by this space suddenly surrounding me.
From their vantage point nearby, the bookies wipe moisture from their hats and murmur to each other before they walk away without a glance back for me. Ian Privett, still watching from Penda, nods to Ake before he turns as well.
“Later, Kate,” Ake says, not quite meeting my eyes, suddenly demure. He lays his reins against his chestnut mare’s neck and she pivots back toward Skarmouth. Finney touches his hat and is gone as well.
The cliff top seems quiet now, just the wind and the sound of intermittent drops sinking into the grass around me. I cannot stop hearing the sound of my own voice, and every time I do, I feel a little smaller.
Tommy’s face is pensive. For a moment it looks like he’s starting toward me, but at the movement of his uisce mare, Dove squeals and lays her ears back again. So he merely waves at me with just one hand close to his reins, and follows the others.
I’m left alone, the gusts beating the breath out of me. I’m furious with Dove for being so fearful, but I’m more furious with myself. Because it doesn’t matter how brave I’ve been or how brave I will be. It only took a casual handful of minutes to convince everyone here that I don’t belong on the beach.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
PUCK
That night Finn and I make a picnic in Dove’s one-sided lean-to. Dove is still strung out and fretful, and I don’t think she’ll touch her hay unless I’m out there with her. And Finn says that the storm’s going to keep us inside for a few days anyway, so we might as well be outside while we can. Also, Mum used to tell us to picnic outside when we were being horrid and loud in the house, so it has a sort of comfortable nostalgia to it.
Of course, it’s getting dark, and it’s drizzling fitfully, but still, under the lean-to it’s dry, and an electric lantern provides enough light to see our soup by. I break open one of the cheap bales of hay to use as a blanket over our legs and we lean back against the wall of the lean-to. Finn, sensing my black mood, clinks the edge of his bowl against mine as a cheers. Dove stands half in and half out of the lean-to and picks at her hay. I have a clear view of the scratch on her neck from here, and again, I hear the sound of my cry on the cliff top. I can’t stop wondering what would’ve happened if I’d just galloped with them when they’d first asked. I can’t stop seeing their faces as they pulled their horses back from Dove.
For a few minutes, we’re all silent, slurping potatoes and broth, listening to Dove’s teeth grinding up the expensive hay and the sound of the light rain whispering across the metal roof of the lean-to. Finn piles more hay across his legs for insulation. Outside, the sky is going blue-brown and black at the edges.
“She looks faster already,” Finn says. He slurps the bottom of his soup to annoy me, and then smacks his lips to make sure he’s succeeded.
I set my own empty bowl on the hay bale behind me and take a piece of bread. My stomach still feels empty. “Can you come at me again with that sound? I don’t think I heard you.”
“You’re in a black mood,” Finn says.
I think of three things I could reply to that and in the end just shake my head. If I say it out loud, it will only make it harder to forget.
Finn is enough of a private creature that he doesn’t try to make me speak. He spreads the hay thin and then thick again over his legs, trying to make it even. After a long pause, he says, “What do you think will happen?”
“Happen when?”
“With the race. And with Gabe. What do you think will happen to us?”
Crossly, I throw a stick of hay toward Dove. “Dove will eat her expensive food and the capaill uisce will eat beef liver and the bets will all be against us, but on the day of the race it’ll be warm and windy and Dove will go straight while the others go right, and we’ll be the richest people on the island. You’ll drive three cars at the same time and Gabe will decide to stay and we’ll never have to eat beans again.”
“Not that one,” Finn says, like he’d asked for a story and I’d picked the wrong one. “What will really happen.”
“I’m not a fortune-teller.”
“What about if you don’t win? I’m not saying anything bad about Dove. But what if she doesn’t make any money?”
I glance at him to see if he’s picking at his arms yet, but he’s just mutilating a piece of hay. “We lose the house. Benjamin Malvern kicks us out.”
Finn nods at his hands, like he’d guessed this before. Gabe had underestimated both of us.
“And then I guess …” I try to imagine what it will look like if I fail. “I guess I will have to sell Dove. And we’d have to find someplace to live. If we got a job, the living could come with it, if it was something like … cleaning. Or at the mill. There’s mill housing.”
No one wants a life at the mill.
I try to think of something else truthful but not so dire. “Gratton said he was eyeing you as an apprentice. I know you couldn’t, but maybe he’d consider me instead….”
Finn says, “I’d do it.”
“You couldn’t bear it.”
He’s demolished the hay in his hands; it’s just dust. “You couldn’t bear to ride in the race, either, but you are. I reckon I could learn to bear it, if I had to.”
I don’t want him to learn to bear it, though. I want to keep my sweet, innocent brother the way he is, and I want to keep my best friend Dove here beside me and I don’t want to trade the house I grew up in for a tiny flat and a mill job.
“But it won’t happen that way,” I say. “The first way is how it’s going to happen.”
Finn shreds another piece of hay. So does Dove.
And, just then, there’s an odd creak.
The lean-to’s metal roof is old, so there’s plenty to creak there, and its one wall forms part of the fence, so where the boards meet the posts of the lean-to, there’s yet another chance of creaking. And the fence itself is not the youngest thing on the island, so, really, it could creak anywhere there’s a joint.
But this isn’t that sort of creak.
It’s more like a creak plus a knock. Not quite a knock. Softer. A pat. I can’t think of how I even heard it, really, once I think about it, until I see Finn looking at me, completely still, and realize I didn’t just hear it — I felt it.
Finn and I both turn our heads toward the lean-to wall that we lean against.
I want to say, Maybe it was Puffin. But Dove has stopped chewing and has pricked her ears toward the sound, though of course there’s nothing to see. I don’t think she’d prick them for a cat.
Finn and I sit motionless. The drizzle goes ssssss on the roof. We’re trying not to look at each other, because looking would make it harder to hear. There’s nothing. Nothing at all. Just the rain on the roof. Dove’s still listening, but there’s nothing to hear. It was just the lean-to settling. Our little electric lantern makes a circle of yellow up on the ceiling. The world is quiet.
Then:
Whuff
And the unmistakable sounds of slow steps on the other side of the wall.
It’s not the sound of feet.
It’s the sound of hooves.
We stare at each other.
There is the creak-pat again, and this time, we both know what it is. I feel the experimental push on the other side of the wall and I bite my lip, hard. With a questioning expression, Finn puts a finger on the switch to the electric light. I shake my head furiously. The only thing I can think of that’s worse than facing a capall uisce in this drizzly night is to do it without light.
Instead, I start to burrow down into the hay blanket I’ve made; slowly, to keep the pieces from making noise. Finn immediately follows my lead. Dove’s ears swivel to follow an invisible signal on the other side of the wall. If I strain my ears, I can hear the sound of a hoof hitting the ground, then another. Another exhale of breath, no louder than the rain on the roof.
I don’t know what the capall uisce is doing. Maybe it’ll lose interest. Maybe it’ll be discouraged by the fence between it and us. In my head, I trace the steps we’d have to take to get back to the house: around the other side of the lean-to, down two sections of fence, over the metal-tube gate, then fifteen feet to the door.
Maybe one of us would get over the gate in time. That’s not enough.
The night is dark and silent. I strain my ears for another hoofstep. Dove’s attention remains fixed on the last point where the sound came from. Finn, mostly covered in hay, meets my gaze. His jaw’s clenched.
The mist hisses over the roof. Water drips down off the edge of the metal, one drop, two drops at a time, making a soft, barely audible sound when it lands on the ground. Somewhere far away, I hear what sounds like a car engine, maybe. The wind teases the hay. There’s nothing from the other side of the wall.
Dove jerks to attention.
Looking in the side of the lean-to is a long black face.
It is the devil.
It takes everything in me not to whimper. The creature is black as peat at midnight, and its lips are pulled back into a fearsome grin. The ears are long and wickedly pointed toward each other, less like a horse and more like a demon. They remind me of shark egg pouches. The nostrils are long and thin to keep the sea out. Eyes black and slick: a fish’s eyes.
It still stinks like the ocean. Like low tide and things caught on rocks. It’s barely a horse.
It’s hungry.
The capall uisce has hooked its head around the side of the lean-to, over the fence. All that stands between us and its strangely light grin is three boards that I nailed up myself while Mum watched. Three nails, not two, into each, because ponies, she said, will test everything.
And now this night-black horse presses its chest against them. Not hard. Only as hard as it had pushed against the lean-to wall.
The nails creak.
I can hear my heart or Finn’s heart or maybe the both of them, and it’s going so fast and loud that I can’t breathe. My hands are fisted over the hay, the nails biting into my palms.
We’re hidden, you can’t see us, go away.
Dove is utterly still.
The capall uisce looks at her and opens its jaw, and then it makes a sound that turns my blood into ice. It’s a hissed exhalation with low clucks behind it, clicking from somewhere deep in its throat: kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw.
Dove flattens her ears back to her head but doesn’t move. How many times had we been told that the capaill uisce want a moving target? That to move is to die?
Dove is a statue.
The capall uisce pushes again. The boards creak again.
I hear Finn sigh. It’s so quiet that I know no one but me could’ve heard it, and only me because I’ve spent my whole life listening to every sound that my brothers could possibly make. It’s a soft, scared little noise that I haven’t heard him make in a long time.