“My older friends, the ones I used to hang out with before I met you? Not all of them wound up pretty.”
“What do you mean?”
“Some of them ran away, like I am. Like I want us to.”
Tally looked into Shay’s eyes, searching for some sign that this was all a joke. But the intense look on her face held firm. She was dead serious.
“You know someone who actually ran away?”
Shay nodded. “I was supposed to go too. We had it all planned, about a week before the first of us turned sixteen. We’d already stolen survival gear, and told David that we were coming. It was all set up. That was four months ago.”
“But you didn’t…”
“Some of us did, but I chickened out.” Shay looked out the window. “And I wasn’t the only one. A couple of the others stayed and turned pretty instead. I probably would have too, except I met you.”
“Me?”
“All of a sudden I wasn’t alone anymore. I wasn’t afraid to go back out to the ruins, to look for David again.”
“But we never…” Tally blinked. “You finally found him, didn’t you?”
“Not until two days ago. I’ve been out every night since we…since our fight. After you said I was afraid to grow up, I realized you were right. I’d chickened out once, but I didn’t have to again.”
Shay grasped Tally’s hand, and waited until their eyes were locked. “I want you to come, Tally.”
“No,” Tally said without thinking. Then she shook her head. “Wait. How come you never told me any of this before?”
“I wanted to, except you would have thought I was crazy.”
“You are crazy!”
“Maybe. But not that way. That’s why I wanted you to meet David. So you’d know that it’s all real.”
“It doesn’t seem real. I mean, what is this place you’re talking about?”
“It’s just called the Smoke. It’s not a city, and nobody’s in charge. And nobody’s pretty.”
“Sounds like a nightmare. And how do you get there, walk?”
Shay laughed. “Are you kidding? Hoverboards, like always. There are long-distance boards that recharge on solar, and the route’s all worked out to follow rivers and stuff. David does it all the time, as far as the ruins. He’ll take us to the Smoke.”
“But how do people live out there, Shay? Like the Rusties? Burning trees for heat and burying their junk everywhere? It’s wrong to live in nature, unless you want to live like an animal.”
Shay shook her head and sighed. “That’s just school-talk, Tally. They’ve still got technology. And they’re not like the Rusties, burning trees and stuff. But they don’t put a wall up between themselves and nature.”
“And everyone’s ugly.”
“Which means no one’s ugly.”
Tally managed to laugh. “Which means no one’s pretty, you mean.”
They sat in silence. Tally watched the fireworks, feeling a thousand times worse than she had before Shay had appeared at the window.
Finally, Shay said the words Tally had been thinking. “I’m going to lose you, aren’t I?”
“You’re the one who’s running away.”
Shay brought her fists down onto her knees. “It’s all my fault. I should’ve told you earlier. If you’d had more time to get used to the idea, maybe…”
“Shay, I never would have gotten used to the idea. I don’t want to be ugly all my life. I want those perfect eyes and lips, and for everyone to look at me and gasp. And for everyone who sees me to think Who’s that? and want to get to know me, and listen to what I say.”
“I’d rather have something to say.”
“Like what? ‘I shot a wolf today and ate it’?”
Shay giggled. “People don’t eat wolves, Tally. Rabbits, I think, and deer.”
“Oh, gross. Thanks for the image, Shay.”
“Yeah, I think I’ll stick to vegetables and fish. But it’s not about camping out, Tally. It’s about becoming what I want to become. Not what some surgical committee thinks I should.”
“You’re still yourself on the inside, Shay. But when you’re pretty, people pay more attention.”
“Not everyone thinks that way.”
“Are you sure about that? That you can beat evolution by being smart or interesting? Because if you’re wrong…if you don’t come back by the time you’re twenty, the operation won’t work as well. You’ll look wrong, forever.”
“I’m not coming back. Forever.”
Tally’s voice caught, but she forced herself to say it: “And I’m not going.”
They said good-bye under the dam.
Shay’s long-range hoverboard was thicker, and glimmered with the facets of solar cells. She’d also stashed a heated jacket and hat under the bridge. Tally guessed that winters at the Smoke were cold and miserable.
She couldn’t believe her friend was really going.
“You can always come back. If it sucks.”
Shay shrugged. “None of my friends has.”
The words gave Tally a creepy feeling. She could think of a lot of horrible reasons to explain why no one had come back. “Be careful, Shay.”
“You too. You’re not going to tell anyone about this, right?”
“Never, Shay.”
“You swear? No matter what?”
Tally raised her scarred palm. “I swear.”
Shay smiled. “I know. I just had to ask again before I…” She pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Tally.
“What’s this?” Tally opened it up and saw a scrawl of letters. “When did you learn to write by hand?”
“We all learned while we were planning to leave. It’s a good idea if you don’t want minders sniffing your diary. Anyway, that’s for you. I’m not supposed to leave any record of where I’m going, so it’s in code, kind of.”
Tally frowned, reading the first line of slanted words. “‘Take the coaster straight past the gap’?”
“Yeah. Get it? Only you could figure it out, in case someone finds it. You know, if you ever want to follow me.”
Tally started to say something, but couldn’t. She managed to nod.