"We'll see about that," I huff, storming off. I pause before turning the corner and glance back at her. "If for some reason I don't return... if anything happens to me... you will take care of Dervish, won't you?"
"I've comforted people who lost loved ones before. There were many in my rath-my village. I will do my best. I promise."
I nod thankfully, then hurry downstairs to sort out things with Beranabus and put him straight on a couple of issues.
The magician and Kernel are in front of the house, squatting in the middle of the road, draped in clothes which they're taken from our wardrobes. They've healed the worst of their wounds, though they're covered in cuts and bruises and Kernel's as blind as he was before. A familiar monolith hangs in the air between them.
"Leaving so soon?" I ask Beranabus tightly.
"Work to be done," he says briskly. "You've seen Bec?"
"Yes. She's under the impression that I'm leaving. Said she'd been charged with the task of looking after Dervish."
"Bec's staying?" Kernel asks, surprised.
"I considered bringing her with us," Beranabus says. "We can't test the Kah-Gash properly without her. I've waited so long to find the different pieces. It might be madness to leave her behind.
But the weapon unnerves me. It gave us the power to come back in time and stop the Demonata-but before that it led Grubbs to the cave and initiated this whole train of events."
"I don't recall it leading me," I frown.
"The night you went to the cave when you were turning into a werewolf," Beranabus reminds me. "You cleared most of the entrance. Bec didn't summon you and Lord Loss wasn't involved at that stage. It can only have been the work of the Kah-Gash. It wanted you to reopen the cave- which makes me assume it also wanted to reopen the tunnel."
"You're saying we can't trust it?" Kernel barks. "After all this time and effort, the things we've sacrificed, the risks we've taken... it was all in pursuit of a weapon we don't dare use?"
"We'll use it eventually," Beranabus says. "We'll have to. But I want to study the pair of you first and try to form a better idea of what we'll be dealing with when we next unleash its power. I think it's better not to keep the three of you together until we're sure we can control the Kah-Gash."
"Then why not leave me behind and take Bec?" I ask.
Beranabus sighs. "She's suffered greatly and I care about her deeply. I was scatterbrained as a child-I bet you find that hard to believe! Bec helped me make a vital breakthrough. She set me on track and rooted me in reality. I owe her more than I can ever repay. She deserves to live again, to be human. I'd leave her here forever if I could. That's impossible, but since it makes sense to keep one of you out of the way of the others for a while, I'll gladly give her this free time. As the gods surely know, she's earned it."
"That's the most human thing I've ever heard you say," Kernel murmurs. Then he frowns. "If you knew her, that means you were alive sixteen hundred years ago. I didn't think humans could survive that long."
"They can't," Beranabus grunts. He wipes dried blood from his cheeks, but it's yellow, not red. "You saw me changing in the cave, didn't you?" he asks me.
"I saw... something," I answer cagily.
"It surfaces occasionally. Sometimes I need to draw on its powers. It's a dangerous game, involving it so intimately. I run the risk of succumbing to it and losing control. But there are times when we must gamble." He scowls, then says quickly, bluntly, "I'm half-Demonata. My father was a demon. That's where my magic comes from. It's how I've lived so long."
"You never told me," Kernel whispers.
"It's not something I'm proud of," Beranabus says acidly. "My mother fell foul of the beast. She never meant for this to happen. It was a horrible twist of fate-or the universe's way of protecting itself from the Demonata."
"Could you have been one of them?" Kernel asks. "You've passed for human all this time. Could you have lived as a demon if you'd wished?"
"Aye. The possibility of becoming a fully fledged demon was always there. It still is. My demon half constantly tempts me, urges me to give myself over to evil, join the Demonata and help them conquer this world. I fight it daily. I've held it in check-so far."
"Which one of them is your father?" I ask. "Lord Loss?"
"Don't be ridiculous," he snorts. "My father was a lesser demon. I tracked him down many centuries ago. I killed the beast and relieved him of his head. Used the skull as a bedpan for a time." He jerks his thumb at the monolith. "Now that we've had the sordid family history, can we move on?"
"I'm not going," I tell him. "I'm staying here with Dervish and Bec."
Beranabus shrugs. "If that's what you want."
"Don't say it like that. I've done my bit. I stopped the demons breaking through. I killed my brother and saved the world. What more do you want from me?" I scream.
Beranabus doesn't blink. "It's not what I want-it's what the universe wants. And what I've learnt from my long years is the universe only ever wants more. It doesn't care about sacrifice and best efforts. It needs us to keep fighting. As far as the universe is concerned, there's no rest for either the good or the wicked. I doubt it even understands the concept."
"Well, the universe can go stick its head where the sun don't shine!" I yell. "I'm through. I did what I had to and now I want out, like Bec."
"It's not within my power to let you go or keep you," Beranabus says softly. "Your conscience will guide you. There's no point shrieking at me. It's yourself you should be angry with. If you were selfish, didn't care about the world, or were a tenth of the coward you believe you are, you'd go back inside, return to school, live out a long, happy, simple, human life. Which you're fully entitled to."
He takes a step closer, shaking his head. "But you can't, can you? You saw the shadow monster in the cave, the one that almost broke through-their leader."
"It was huge," I whisper. "Powerful. Evil."