She’s four years younger than my dad would be, if he were alive, which makes her thirty-seven. Gabby was married once, but it didn’t stick, and she’s been single for five years. So that means she’s bustling around the bungalow, trying on various accessories. I can’t remember when her last date was, so she’s probably nervous.
“How does this look?” she asks from her bedroom doorway.
Outfit number four is a simple black dress with wedge heels and silver accents. “Good.”
She makes a face. “You said that about everything I’ve had on.”
“It’s impossible for you to look bad.”
She has smooth blond hair that falls just below her shoulders. While some people might argue that she needs to lose weight, I think she looks soft and feminine. Like me, she tends toward narrow shoulders and wide hips. It looks better on her. She’s a little shorter than I am, which makes her five three. We share the shape of our faces and eyebrows, but that’s where the resemblance ends.
“What’re you and Ryan watching tonight?” she asks, buckling a belt around her waist.
“I dunno.” We didn’t talk today like we usually do, so there was no chance to ask him.
“I want him out of here by midnight.”
I laugh. “Absolutely. But you realize, even if he slept in my bed, nothing would happen.”
“I’ve always wondered what his deal is. Is he gay?”
“I have no idea,” I admit. “But it would explain a lot. I mean, I understand why he wouldn’t want to come out, here. JFK isn’t the most progressive of schools.”
Of course, that would mean I’m functioning as his beard. I’m not sure how I’d feel, if that were true. During year two of our friendship, I developed an unfortunate crush, but since he never showed any sign of returning it, I smashed all such inclinations. I figured it was better to keep him as a friend than embarrass myself by pushing for a relationship he didn’t want. In retrospect, I’m glad things worked out like this. My aunt warned me that high school boyfriends rarely carry beyond graduation, so this way, I have some hope of keeping him in my life, even after he goes to MIT.
“Still good?” she asks, shaking back her hair.
“You look fantastic. Tell me about this guy?”
“He works for UPS.” Aunt Gabby makes a face, like there’s some shame in that.
I grin. “Does that mean you’re gonna inspect his package?”
“Sage!” Her tone is faintly scandalized, but she smiles back at me, eyes crinkling at the corners. They’re a pretty shade of hazel, flecked with gold and green. She relents. “Probably not tonight, but maybe someday, if things go well.”
Ryan and the UPS man, whose name is Joe, arrive at the same time. There’s a confusion of introductions and greetings, then Aunt Gabby goes off in her date’s truck. It’s silver, shiny, looks new, so that tells me he’s fiscally solid. I’d like for her to find someone and be happy, but it also scares me because bringing a new person into the life we’ve built together could be pure chaos. I imagine Joe the UPS man telling me what to do, and I get a little queasy. But I’m jumping too far ahead. There’s no way Aunt Gabby would let him move in here after one date. Like me, she’s slow and cautious, so by the time she gets serious enough for such a big step, I’ll probably be off to college anyway.
So yeah. Things are fine.
“Hey, you okay? I feel like I lost you for a minute there.”
While I don’t share all my thoughts with Ryan, he knows enough about me to understand this. Sheepishly, I confess my moment of mini-panic. He settles me against him with quiet surety because we’ve done this a hundred times. Maybe he isn’t interested in romance, but he’s a world-class hugger. I put my arms around his waist and lean my head against his chest. Ryan McKenna is safety.
“Better?” he asks after a few seconds.
“Yeah, I’m good. I was just being dumb.”
He lifts a shoulder. “We all have moments where we wig out over nothing.”
Like you did over Shane? But I don’t say that out loud because Ryan and I seem to be back on the old footing, and I want to enjoy the night. I make the popcorn and bring a huge bowl out to the soft gray sofa, where he’s already waiting with the movie on the menu screen.
I recognize the title immediately and cut him a surprised look. “Crazy, Stupid, Love? I thought you hated romantic comedies.”
“I hear it’s not just a romantic comedy. And I remembered you really wanted to see it.”
The movie … is awesome. I’m so riveted by Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone, Steve Carell, and Julianne Moore that I don’t even notice when the dynamic changes. There’s usually a comfortable distance between us, some kicking, maybe, or a popcorn fight, but the next time I look up at Ryan, he’s right next to me and his arm is around my shoulders. This is not standard operating procedure; while Ryan hugs, he doesn’t cuddle.
I’m cuddling with Ryan McKenna.
What does this mean? If I knew crap about boys, I’d have some clue how to play this. But they’re a giant mystery to me, so I’m frozen. Eventually, my heart stops thundering, and I decide he’s still in comfort mode because I was freaking out over the idea of UPS Joe ruining my life. Ryan can be pretty protective. So I take this as a gesture of friendship and lean against him.
By the time the credits roll, I’m laughing and crying at the same time. It’s messy, but I can’t hold it in. “I wanted them to get back together so bad. Do you think they will?”