He jerks his head up. “No. I’m just … offering an alternative to the whole college thing.”
“You were the one who wanted to come on this trip, Galen. To get away from the ocean. And now you want to get away from land?”
“I needed to think.”
“And so this is what you came up with? That college is a bad idea and that you’d rather live in the water—where I can’t breathe, if you recall?”
“Dr. Milligan said that over time you could—”
“No.”
“You would live longer. You wouldn’t be as fragile as humans.”
“Absolutely not.”
“You’re angry.”
Understatement of the millennium. “You think?”
“I shouldn’t have brought it up yet. I was waiting for the right time, but I can see this wasn’t it.”
“There is no right time to ask me to live in the ocean with you, Galen. I can’t do that.”
“Can’t? Or won’t?” Now he sounds mad.
I feel so waylaid by this conversation. I just told him I can’t breathe in the water. But even if I could, would I? I wish my brain and my heart could call a truce. I really need them to be on the same side right now. “That’s not fair.”
“Really?” he says, incredulous. “But it’s fair that I give up everything I’ve ever known?”
I feel the tears spill out of my eyes, roll down my hot cheeks, and land on my chest. When he puts it like that, it doesn’t seem fair. But it’s what we agreed on. He said he would go anywhere, as long as I was with him. “You made that decision, Galen. You said you didn’t mind.”
“That was before.”
“Before what? Reed?” I regret it as soon as I say it. I can tell I’ve practically pounded on a very sensitive button.
He snorts. “If I never hear that name again, it will be too soon.” He paces toward the curtain and makes a show of peering out the window.
“If this isn’t about Reed, then what is it about?”
He faces me. When he does, some of the anger is gone from his face, replaced by the sadness that’s been haunting him the last few months. “Neptune is just an added complication to this whole mess. What I mean is, I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.” He shakes his head. “Just forget I mentioned it. I’ll deal with it.”
I stand. “Really? Like you’re dealing with it now?” I’m still not even sure what “it” is. This is probably the most unnerving exchange with Galen I’ve ever had. “Are you sure this isn’t about Ree—Neptune? I mean, everything is going great, we’re on a road trip that you wanted to go on, by the way, and now we’ve come across a town of Half-Breeds who are defining themselves instead of letting some arcane law do it for them—but none of this has anything to do with your sudden decision to keep me prisoner in an underwater castle?”
He flinches. “I didn’t realize you felt you were my prisoner,” he says softly. He closes the distance between us and brushes his fingers over my cheek. “I want so much more for you than that, angelfish.”
I put my hand on his. “Galen, I—” I’m going to say I’m sorry but I can’t force it out. I am sorry. But I’m just not sure what I’m sorry about. That we had a fight? No, because we’re going to fight sometimes, and apparently these things needed to be said. Sorry that I don’t want to live in the ocean with him? No. Because I never misled him into thinking I did. He knew from the beginning where I stood about college and staying on land.
I guess what I’m sorry about the most is that we’re at odds—and there doesn’t seem to be a solution. And that I said something I don’t mean. I absolutely do not feel like his prisoner. I feel more like his warden, like I’m holding him back. Apparently what he wants is no longer what I want.
The problem is, I still want him.
“I have to go back,” he says quietly. “I hope you understand.”
“Back?”
“To Triton territory. I have to tell Grom about this place. It’s my duty.”
“Are you sure Grom doesn’t already know about this?”
“Grom wouldn’t keep this from the kingdoms. Even if Anto—under any circumstances. I know my brother. I have to tell him.” He visibly braces himself for what I’ll say next.
I step away from him. “You can’t do that, Galen. You just can’t. You know what the law says about Half-Breeds. You would let them do that to these people? You would let them kill Toby?”
His features are weighed down with anguish. “I don’t know how we’ve come to this point, Emma. I don’t know what I’ve done to make you think of me this way.”
“I’m not going with you.”
He nods, and brushes past me. “I gathered as much.” Opening the door, he turns back to me. “Stay here then, Emma. If you feel you belong here, if this is what you want, then stay. Who am I to stop you? We both know you’re going to do what you want.”
And then he is gone.
12
WHEN HE can’t keep it in any longer, Galen pulls over on the side of the road. Turns off the lights. Slams the door behind him. He makes his way into the woods just far enough to be unseen by any cars passing by. And he takes his frustration out on the nearest tree.
Over and over and over, he punches it. The bark gives way to wood, and still he punches. Only small ribbons of moonlight shine through the trees, barely exposing his misery, for which he’s grateful. “I’m such an idiot,” he yells at the massive, newly assaulted trunk.