Home > How to Ruin a Summer Vacation (How to Ruin #1)(11)

How to Ruin a Summer Vacation (How to Ruin #1)(11)
Author: Simone Elkeles

It seems like a long time, but when I reach the enclosure my pace doesn't falter. Mr. Haraldson, my gym teacher, would be proud of my leap. I was nowhere near getting the presidential award in physical fitness last year, but I'm probably making a world-record jump right now.

I don't really aim where I'm going; it's all just a blur. And when I land, I close my eyes. I hope I don't squash a sheep during my crash landing.

But instead of colliding with a sheep, something hard and solid breaks my fall.

I'm afraid to open my eyes, so I can't see, but my sense of smell is heightened. I know this because the scent of boy sweat surrounds me.

It's not grody body odor, just this musky guy aroma that makes me inhale deeper.

Okay, now I realize what I'm doing, where I am, and who I'm smelling--like he's a damn rose petal--but it's really just a boy. I open my eyes wide.

Don't ask me how I came to be straddling no-shirt-cute-jerk. His hands are on me. To be specific, one of them is on the small of my back and the other one is on my hip. And I get caught staring into mocha eyes that could definitely put someone in a trance.

I'm about to push away from him, but I hear the sound of someone walking along the grass beside the sheep's pen. I look over at who it is. I'm acutely aware the position I'm currently in looks really promiscuous and will probably get me in a ton of trouble.

When I finally lean away from him, it opens my view to whoever has witnessed my debacle. I realize it's the last person I wanted to see.

O'snot.

And when I see her lips in a tight line and her hands accusingly on her hips I come to the only conclusion one can muster.

No-shirt-cute-jerk is my cousin O'snot's boyfriend.

O'shit.

CHAPTER 7

I'll never get used to being humiliated .

"I swear, Ron, it's not my fault."

"Those words come off your lips pretty often, Amy," he says to me. "Now explain again why you ran away before you even met Sofia and then, within a matter of fifteen minutes, end up on top of a boy. In the middle of a pile of hay, no less."

I dig some dirt out of my fingernail while the Sperm Donor has this very serious talk.

"Actually, to be technical, I fell on him," I say. I finger a piece of my hair that's been caked with mud. "I really don't recall exactly how I ended up straddling him."

We're sitting on the front lawn of my grandmother/ uncle/aunt/cousin's house. Ron does that thing with his hand through his hair again.

And then unending silence. Should I explain what happened? I'm not afraid to admit I want to be in control of my life.

Don't ask me why, I just blurt out, "I felt like everybody was watching and analyzing me and it sucked so I ran."

"Did you kiss Avi?"

"Who's Avi?"

SD gives me the you've-got-to-be-kidding look.

I stand up.

"No! Why? Did Cousin Snotty say I did? Listen, there were vicious dogs chasing me--"

He looks down at the mutt who hasn't figured out my feet aren't his personal playground.

"Like that one?" he says.

I shake the thing off my leg. "No. Yes. Well, they looked like him, but were a lot bigger. And so I ran and sort of fell on Snotty's boyfriend."

"Her name is O. S. N. A. T. Osnat. It's a beautiful name."

"Not where I come from."

"Just...just give her a chance. Don't judge her before you get to know her."

I want to argue, to tell SD Snotty hated me before she knew me, but I'm keeping silent. Right now I'll attribute my lack of ability to argue to sleep deprivation because usually I'm ready for a good knockdown-dragout verbal war.

"Fine," I say.

"And stop calling her Snotty."

Geez, you give the guy a little and like a vacuum cleaner he wants to take up all the dirt, not just the little pieces of lint.

"Fine. Where's Sofia?. I'm ready to meet her now if there aren't any spectators around."

"She's resting in her room. No spectators, I promise."

This would be about the time I have the urge to hug the SD. But it would feel weird because I haven't hugged him in years.

SD stands and I follow him into the house. Once we enter, the smell of fresh baked bread wafting from the kitchen makes my stomach growl.

"Come eat," Dodo Yucky says. She's lost a bit of her cheery disposition. Is it because she thinks I kissed O.S.NAT's boyfriend?

"Thanks, but I'm not hungry." I'm too nervous to eat. Ron leads me to a small room at the back of the house and I peek in the door.

Sofia is lying down on her bed. When she sees me enter, she sits up.

I swallow hard and close the door behind me. The room is small, the floor is made of tile, and the walls are stark white cement. The drapes are closed, so it's a little dark. But that's the way I want it now, because I don't want the world peeking into my conversation.

"Hi, Sofia. I'm Amy," I say. My voice cracks while I'm saying it and I feel a little foolish.

She nods and pats the side of the bed. "Come over here, Amy. Sit with me."

I take small, slow steps to her bed. When I reach it, I carefully sit on the edge. To my surprise, she takes my hand in hers.

"Are you really sick?" I ask tentatively.

"I'll be fine. You know doctors, they like to make a big fuss about nothing."

"Ron thinks you're real sick," I say, and then want to suck those words right back in my mouth.

   
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