I'm on one side of the elevator; Nathan is on the other. He still has his iPod earbuds in his ears, but I have no clue if there's music playing in them. I almost want to say something to test him. I know people who pretend they're listening to music but are really eavesdropping on conversations when others think they can't hear.
"I'm not plastic," I say to him. "Or fake."
No reaction, except for a little twitch of his jaw. And his breathing halted, just for a millimeter of a second.
It's true. I'm as real as they get, no holds barred. My dad says sometimes it's a good trait, and sometimes it's a horrible one.
We finally reach the fortieth floor.
"Check ya later, Barbie," Nathan mumbles.
Did I just hear right?
Barbie? Um...that's not gonna fly with me. No way, no how.
I stop dead in my tracks and turn around. "What did you call me?" I ask.
I should have known the guy would ignore me. Ignoring is apparently Nathan's specialty.
Inside my condo, Mutt greets me with a pounce and a germ-infested lick. Most people say that a dog's mouth is cleaner than a person's mouth. But most people haven't tested my dog's mouth. He licks too many private parts to be considered clean by anyone's standards.
I look up when Mutt runs over to his leash. To my surprise, my dad is sitting at the dining room table.
"You get fired?" I ask.
My dad looks up. "No. Just wanted to be here when you got home."
That's a first. "Why?"
My dad's attention is taken by Mutt, holding the leash in his mouth and wagging his tail around like a lance. "Let's talk about it after you take Mutt out."
This doesn't sound too good. "Tell me now."
"He's going to have an accident on the floor if you don't take him."
"I'm going to freak out if you don't tell me. What's worse?"
My dad takes a deep breath and says, "I'm new at being a fadder, but I have to try my best. You used my credit card without my permission. You signed me up for a dating service without my permission. That six-month membership is costing me over three hundred dollars."
That about sums it up. "I said I was sorry."
"This time, Amy, sorry isn't good enough."
Now I'm starting to panic. Does he want me to leave and go live with my mom and her hyper-allergic husband? There's no way they'll let me keep Mutt in their pristine suburban house with the new baby coming. And will I have to start a new school with kids I don't know? High school is tough enough without being the new kid, and I'm not going to think about Nathan right now because he doesn't deserve my sympathy.
"I'll do anything, Aba. Please don't send me away."
My dad stands. I can tell he's going to break the bad news right now and I wince. "I'm not going to send you away, sweetheart."
"You're not?"
"No. I got you a job."
7
***
Moses had incredible negotiation skills. He made God The #1 Top Guy, change his mind about destroying all of the
Jewish people (Exodus 32:13). If that doesn't prove anyone can change the course of their life, nothing will. I wish I had Moses's negotiation skills when dealing with my dad.
***
"Amy, what are you doing here so early? Conversion class doesn't start for another ten minutes."
I'm standing in the doorway of Rabbi Glassman's office at Temple Beit Chaverim. The rabbi is reading over papers while he rubs his gray and black beard.
"I need to talk to someone," I tell him.
Putting his papers aside, Rabbi Glassman motions for me to sit at the chair opposite his desk. "I'm always here to listen if someone needs an ear. That's my job."
"Listening to people complain?"
"Among other things," he says with a smile, then leans back in his large cushioned chair. "What's on your mind?"
Lots of stuff, but I'm going to pick out the top one bugging me. "I got in trouble."
"With the law?" he prompts.
"With my dad. I took his credit card without his permission and now he wants me to pay him back the money I charged." I look to the rabbi, to make sure he's not keeling over in shock or shame.
"What did you charge, if I may ask?"
I put my hands up. "I know this is gonna sound weird, but it was for a good reason. I signed up for PJSN...you know, the Professional Jewish Singles Network. It's a dating service. And I did it for my dad."
The rabbi's eyebrows raise up. "You signed your father up for a dating service without his permission?"
I nod. "He needs a wife."
Rabbi Glassman sighs, then says in a quiet voice, "Amy, sometimes you have to let people choose their own paths in life."
"Yeah, but what if they're taking the wrong one?"
"Everyone makes mistakes. Even rabbis. We're all human."
I seem to be making more than my share of human mistakes lately. "So you're saying I should let my dad live his life alone and lonely?"
"Nonsense. He has you, doesn't he? Some things aren't measured by their size, but by their importance."
"That's very philosophical, Rabbi," I say, smiling.
"You caught me on a good day."
I bite the inside of my cheek. "I haven't had a lot of those lately."