I hurry and clip Mutt's leash to his collar. In the elevator, Mutt looks up at me with his puppy dog eyes that are so expressive sometimes I think there's a human soul inside all of that fur. "Avi's here," I tell him. "And its awkward. What can I do to make it all better?"
Mutt looks up at me, sticks his tongue out, and pants like a...like a dog who wants to pee.
No answers from this genius dog.
At the dog park, I unclip the leash when we're fenced inside the park. My mind isn't on Mutt. It's on Avi. I contemplate what I'm going to say to him when I get back upstairs.
Do I tell him I kissed Nathan... twice?
It didn't mean anything, and yet I did participate. But how much participating do you have to do before it can really be labeled cheating?
Although how can I cheat on someone who I'm not even officially dating? Does the label of "dating" matter, or is it the feelings in your heart that takes precedence? Oh, man, I am so screwed up. Can my life get any worse?
As if on cue, I hear screaming and a ruckus coming from the other end of the dog park. I turn around and my eyes go wide when I see Mutt humping another dog.
He's usually humping another male dog, showing him who's the boss.
But not this time.
My mutt Mutt is humping Princess. Mr. Obermeyer's prized purebread Princess.
And he is going at it but good. Oh, shit.
When I run over, Mr. Obermeyer is screaming at me, "Get your dog off her!"
I swallow, hard. "What...what do you want me to do?"
In a state of panic, I catch Mitch watching the whole obscene scene and laughing. Most of the other people have their mouths wide open in horror because everyone knows to keep their dog away from Princess and Mr. Obermeyer.
I start yelling words to make Mutt leave Princess alone. "Mutt, come! Treat! No! Get off! Leave her alone! DIE!" Yeah, even that last word Avi just taught me didn't work.
Now all I want to do is DIE.
"Do something, besides give commands your dog doesn't follow," Mr. Obermeyer yells. "Hurry!"
I take a step toward the two dogs in a romantic dance. "Get off Princess," I growl through clenched teeth. "She's not your type."
Mutt obviously has selective hearing.
When I move closer, I'm getting queasy. I'm not an all-natural-comfortable-in-nature kind of person. Interrupting two dogs in the middle of a very private moment in a very public setting is not my thing and never will be.
Taking a deep breath and bracing myself for humiliation, I step behind Mutt and wrap my arms across his middle. And pull. And pull. But Mutt refuses to let go. Damn.
As soon as I release my grip and give up, Mutt bounds away from Princess as if the entire thing was no big deal.
Mr. Obermeyer runs over to his bitch. "He's tainted her womb."
"Mr. Obermeyer, she's just a dog."
The old man blinks in shock and I think he just turned a paler shade of white, if it was possible. "Princess is a state champion in obedience."
"Obviously," I mutter.
Mr. Obermeyer regards the crowd, still gathered around. "Someone call the police."
I can just see me being dragged to jail because my dog humped a prized poodle named Princess. "Mr. Obermeyer... please."
"Who's going to pay for the veterinary costs for this fiasco? She's in heat and was supposed to be bred with a stud. Now she'll have a litter of mutts instead of purebreds. It's all because you can't control your animal."
The old man looks like he's about to have a coronary and his wrinkles threaten to crease further into his waxy skin. "I'm sorry," I say, trying to break the tension while thinking the only stud around here is my mutt.
Mr. Obermeyer holds his hands up. "Sorry?" he says. "How is your 'sorry' going to change the situation?"
It can't. "I don't know."
"If he's not a purebred, your responsibility is to have him fixed." Pursing his lips together, Mr. Obermeyer stalks off with Princess strutting beside him.
I don't care if Mutt isn't a purebred. He's mine. And Avi gave him to me, which makes him more valuable than any purebred. Oh, no! Avi.
I run over to Mutt and clasp the leash on him. I walk back home, but stay a safe distance behind Mr. Obermeyer and his bitch, waiting long enough for them to reach the condo before I venture into the elevator with my stud.
I find Avi sitting on our couch, his elbows resting on his knees and his hands clasped together.
"Sorry it took so long," I say, releasing Mutt and hanging the leash back on the hook. "There was kind of a commotion at the dog park." I look over at Mutt, who is now stretched out on his back on the floor looking more relaxed and content than I've ever seen him.
What am I going to tell my dad about Princess and Mutt?
"I thought you ditched me," Avi says, the side of his mouth quirked up. "Amy, the more I'm here, the more I realize this was a bad idea."
I step around the couch and sit next to him. "Don't say that. There's just a lot going on right now."
His midnight eyes are so different from Nathan's. They're brooding, just like my dad's. I can tell he's been through a lot just by staring into them. He's worried about something but he's trying not to show it.
"How's the Israeli army?" I ask.
"Sababa," he says.
"What's sababa?"
"It means 'cool, awesome, no problem.'" He talks in that deep, dark voice of his that can melt my own invisible walls I've built around myself.