Taking a deep breath, I shake my head and turn back to Nathan. He's still standing at the counter. The guy won't leave.
He leans forward and whispers, "You don't like me because I'm a geek...dork...lame...weak sauce...whatever you want to label me."
"That's not true," I say.
"Oh, yeah? Then why are you so hung up on this Avi dude? Tell me his brain is as big as his biceps."
"Not that it's any of your business, but as a matter of fact he's really smart. You don't always have to judge people by their grades. Being fun and outgoing and street-smart is important, too."
"If you're so hung up on the guy, why did you kiss me in the elevator? Oh, that's right. You did it as a joke."
"Did not."
"Yeah, right. Plastic girls like you like to play with people's lives. You never think about the consequences of your actions or who you'll hurt."
My mouth goes wide. Is Nathan kidding? I wouldn't kiss him as a joke, or even a dare. I kissed him because I wanted the upper hand. If he started liking me because of our kiss, I could control our relationship. I could make him hate me or like me. I admit it was manipulative.
Nathan's glasses slip on his nose and he pushes them back up. "I bet if I acted cool and dressed cool you'd dump that Avi guy and want to date me."
"Wanna bet?"
The door to the café opens. It's Avi. And he doesn't look happy that I'm talking to Nathan. Nathan must sense my hesitation because he takes his iced tea without sweetener and stomps off to his usual chair to study.
Maria taps me on the shoulder. "You can go, Amy. Your shift is up."
Thank the Lord.
I peel off the yellow apron. I lift myself on my tiptoes and give Avi a huge smooch while wrapping my arms around him. That'll show him how much I missed him, Nathan how much Avi means to me, and everyone else (including Jessica) how important Avi is in my life.
Taking my cue, Avi wraps his arms around me. "Let's get out of here," he whispers against my mouth, then takes my hand and we leave the café together as a couple.
I think the ice has broken between us as we step out into the cold night air. My cell phone rings. It's my dad. "Hey, Aba" I say into my phone.
"Did you get a big surprise today?"
"Yep. He's standing right beside me." I'll talk to my dad later about the new "no surprise rule" I'm about to set up.
"Let's all meet for dinner. How about Rosebud?"
Rosebud is an unbelievable Italian place on Rush Street right near our building. On a Saturday night it's one of the most crowded restaurants in the city. "Sure."
"I'll be there in a half hour."
"Cool. See you there."
I hang up and hadn't even realized I was leading Avi away from our building and Rosebud. I notice we're not holding hands anymore. We're headed toward the beach even though Lake Michigan is freezing and the wind is blowing hard enough to make my face freeze up, making it hard to talk.
"I thought if I told you I was coming you'd tell me not to," Avi says. We're still walking, both of us looking straight ahead at the lake peeking through the city streets.
I want to grab his hand and hold it as we walk, but he's got both of his fists stuffed inside the front pockets of his jeans. "I thought you forgot about me," I say.
He gives a short laugh. "I didn't have time, Amy. I was in basic training, remember?"
I'm totally aware that other girls walking past us on the Chicago city streets are checking him out. Will it always be like that? Does he exude that charisma and confidence on purpose? "What if you did have time, Avi?" I ask him. "Would you find someone else, some pretty Israeli girl to replace me?"
"Why? So you wouldn't feel guilty starting a relationship with that guy Nathan?"
"I kissed you in front of him, Avi. Like I'd do that if I liked him."
"You did it to make him jealous," he says matter-of-factly.
"Did not. Besides, you don't even want a real relationship. You made that clear last summer. No commitments, no boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. You know what I tell my friends... that you're my non-boyfriend. Do you know how that makes me feel? Well, I'll tell you, Mr. Israeli Tough Guy. It makes me feel terrible, like I'm not worth the time or effort or emotion to put into a real relationship."
I swallow, but it's not easy because my throat is starting to close up from emotion. Most of the time I try to keep my emotions deep inside, far from the surface. So this sucks, doubly so because it's Avi, the one person I don't want to get too emotional with because I know it'll just push him away.
He tries to pull me toward him, but I swat his hand away. I don't want his sympathy. I want his love.
What feels the worst is that I don't even think he's capable of giving it. God knows he'd never say it.
"I don't know what you want," he says, totally frustrated now. "Amy, I'm sorry. I thought we had this all worked out.
"Yeah, well, we don't. Why did you come here? Just to screw around with my life?"
"No," he says, pulling me into his chest and this time doesn't let me resist. Holding me tight, he whispers into my hair, "I finished combat basic training and am assigned to a specialized fighting unit. The IDF is taking a different approach to terrorism; they're going to teach us how to think, act, and be the enemy." He takes a deep breath and says, "I don't know if I'll get authorization to contact you in the summer when you visit."