"I wanted to take you to the top of the Sears Tower. Every tourist has to go there."
"I'll go on my own."
"And what about Oz Park? Did you know the guy who wrote The Wizard of Oz lived here?"
"I'll figure it out."
"But what if you don't, Avi? What if you go back to Israel without seeing what Chicago has to offer?"
Avi cups my cheek with his palm. "It doesn't all have to be perfect. Life isn't perfect."
"I want it to be."
His thumb slowly caresses my face. "I know. It's what makes you unique." He squeezes his eyes shut, then says, "I gotta go before I do something stupid."
I watch as he sits in the passenger seat, says something to Tarik, and the car drives off.
After he leaves me alone, crying, and devastated, I want to kneel right here and start bawling all over again.
"You're not crying over that guy, are you?" I hear Nathan's voice behind me.
I face him and squint my eyes accusingly. "Have you been spying on me this whole time?"
"Nope. Why, was it a good breakup? 'Cause if it was, I'm sorry I missed it."
I walk up to Nathan, take my finger, and poke it into his chest. "You are the rudest, most self-centered, dragon-eyed, inconsiderate, egotistical... " I'm racking my brain to think of more words when Nathan takes my finger into his hand and stops me from poking him again.
Nathan's touch doesn't affect me like Avi's does. And for the first time it's clear Nathan isn't "The One" and never has been. I have a connection to him, but it's oh, so different than the connection I have with Avi.
I'm too weak to do anything else but slump my shoulders and cry. The pain is too great, like someone is ripping open my heart and squeezing it tight. My knees start to buckle and Nathan catches me.
"You really are upset, aren't you?" he says, staring at me with his eyebrows down and furrowed in sympathy. I've never seen Nathan have sympathy for anyone, especially me.
I squeeze my eyes shut. "I'm not as plastic as you accuse me of being."
"I guess not. Listen, Amy. I'm sorry. You're right about me. Well, except for the dragon-eyed part."
"What?"
"I played you. I played your boyfriend. It wasn't fair, I know. Sometimes I want everyone's life to be as screwed up as mine. Call it a self-defense mechanism."
He helps me stand. I wipe my nose and eyes with the sleeve of my shirt. "What's so wrong with your life, Nathan? Who are you? Make me feel better about my crappy life by sharing yours."
I understand why I'm insecure: my dad just came back into my life, my mom and her new husband are planning a family without me... and I don't know where my family life begins and where it ends.
"I'm a foster kid. Parents gave me up when I was ten because they couldn't afford all eight kids they had. I've been tossed from one foster home to another since then."
Wait, I don't get it. "I thought Mr. and Mrs. Keener were your aunt and uncle?"
"No other foster home would take me after they took a look at my file, so they were kind of forced into it by the courts. My aunt and uncle aren't on speaking terms with my parents. They cut all ties a long time ago. Something about marrying trailer trash makes you trailer trash."
I can't imagine my parents giving me away. Even when my dad and I weren't talking, he still tried. It was me who pushed him away. My mom raised me since she was in college, going to school and working while trying to juggle having a kid and getting a career going. I admire her so much. I don't think she ever considered giving me up.
"Why do you dress like--"
"Like I'm a dork?"
"Well, yeah."
"My aunt wants me to dress conservative. Thinks if I dress like a bad kid, I'll be a bad kid."
"Are you bad, Nathan?"
He focuses on the ground and shrugs. "I have been. You don't get kicked out of thirteen foster homes in seven years for being a model kid. "
"And now?"
"I guess I'm still f**ked up." He looks at me. "I shouldn't have kissed you in front of everyone in the cafeteria. And...I have to admit...I knew your boyfriend was going to be at the party tonight and was secretly happy he found out we kissed. I know I hurt you, Amy."
The truth is I hurt myself. I let my insecurity and confused emotions overcome what I knew deep in my heart was right all along. I play a tough game, but inside I'm weak. Just like Nathan.
I hook my arm through Nathan's and say, "Do you have any ice cream at your place?"
"I think so. Vanilla, maybe."
"That'll do."
"You want to hang out with me?" he asks, totally shocked.
"Yeah. Isn't that what friends are supposed to do?"
"I've got to admit, I haven't had a friend in a long time. Don't know if I even know how to be one."
"What about Bicky?" I ask when we get in the elevator and head to the fortieth floor.
"She's a foster kid, too. I met her in a home in Freeport last summer."
"Where is she now?"
He takes a deep breath and says, "Rehab. She got into some bad stuff and is all messed up. I bring her flowers every Saturday, but they won't let me see her or talk to her. She receives my letters and notes, though."
Wow. And I thought my family life and love life were rough. I have the urge to go hug my mom and dad and thank them for hanging in there with me.