Avi takes a deep breath, says, "Forget it," then walks away to stand by himself.
"He's brooding, Amy," Nathan informs me.
"I know."
I did tell Noah that whatever Avi wanted to say, he should say it to my face. Well, I guess it's time for me to hear it firsthand. I shouldn't delay the inevitable, dreaded conversation.
"Nathan, I'm going over to him."
"Want me to go with you?"
"That's probably not the safest idea. I think I can handle it." I stand, ready to face Avi and whatever news he's about to tell me. "I'll be right back."
"Good luck. You'll need it."
"What do you want to talk to me about?" I ask Avi, who's standing close enough to our team to be seen but far enough away not to be heard.
"You didn't even try on the obstacle course, Amy."
"Are you kidding? I tried. Sorry if I'm not all buff and perfect like Liron."
"Yeah, not many girls can compete with her."
"Thanks. Next time you could give your team some pointers along the way. You are our team leader, you know."
"And as team leader, I knew your team could do it on your own. Amy, admit you're lying about dating Nathan."
"No."
"Then why'd you make me take you somewhere private that first day and let me kiss you?"
"I had a brain fart."
"No, you're having a brain fart right now by pretending you and Nathan are a couple. God is definitely inscribing you in the Book of Liars."
My blood is way past boiling now. "How dare you! I'll have you know that Nathan's kisses are the best I've ever had. By far. You could take lessons from him."
He opens his mouth to respond, then snaps it shut when someone walks by. We can't have a conversation in true private and Avi hates dishing his dirt in public. "When are you gonna stop playing games, Amy?"
"Never. I like games. It makes life interesting. You should try it sometime, you know."
"I don't have time for games." He looks behind me to Nathan, who's chatting with Miranda and Jessica. "So this is how you want to end it?"
"Don't you?"
"No. Didn't you talk to Noah?"
"Not about us. Listen, Avi, you and I both know it's not working."
"I'm not good at relationships, Amy."
"Well, that's one more obstacle we'd have to get through if we were dating. You'd have to deal with my games, and with your girlfriend being an obstacle-course flunkee. I'd have to deal with your commitment phobia and the fact that you don't really want a full-time girlfriend you have to answer to. We were doomed from the start."
He lets out a slow breath. "Please don't make more out of this than it is. I've been trying to be who you want me to be, Amy."
"I just want you to be yourself. I've never once asked you to be someone else. It may not seem like it now, but I'm actually doing you a favor. Now you can have Liron or any other girl all to yourself, with a clear conscience."
Nathan slides up beside me and puts his arm around my shoulders. "Sorry, Avi," he says. "You win some, you lose some."
Liron comes up out of nowhere and stands next to Avi. She nudges him. "So you told her?"
He nods.
"I'm so sorry, Amy," Liron says so sincerely I want to rip those blond streaks right out of her head. "But I'm glad you know. Now I won't feel so weird around you anymore."
Great. That makes one of us.
Avi puts his arm around Liron. I want to swat it off her, but as Nathan said, you win some, you lose some. I just wish I wasn't the one who'd lost.
Chapter 14
Second place is the first loser. Last place is the biggest loser.
At night, I'm so shaken up by the finality of our breakup that I skip my normal facial
cleansing routine and just climb into bed. Avi and I have broken up before, but this time its for real. I try sleeping, but with the squeaky springs above me (Vic's indentation getting more and more pronounced), along with the fact that I can't get the awful conversation Avi and I had at the obstacle course out of my mind, sleeping is impossible. Listen, deep down I know I should have come clean to Avi about my non-relationship with Nathan. But I couldn't.
Avi uses a rifle, Krav Maga, and non-communication for self-defense. I use games, attitude, and manipulation.
No matter what I've thought in the past, we might just be too different.
In the morning, our team gets assigned kitchen duty, (thanks to Tori and her tirade yesterday on the obstacle course). It's not bathroom-cleaning duty, so I'm okay with it. Again, they wake us up at the crack of dawn. Actually, it's before the crack of dawn, because it's still pitch black outside. My team is held back while everyone else does an activity. Ronit leads us to the kitchen, and even though I don't want to see Avi, I can't help scanning the base looking for him. He's nowhere in sight.
Noah, the American IDF soldier from Colorado, is in the kitchen waiting for us.
"Hey, Noah," I groan, my eyes still at half-mast.
"Hey. I'm going to give you assignments." He points to a humongous pot half the size of me. "Two of you need to set baskets of bread on the tables. Two of you need to put water in that pot. When it boils, put three hundred eggs inside and let them sit in the boiling water for fifteen minutes. Two of you need to put jam in the bowls. And two of you need to make coffee."