CHAPTER 11: DEREK
The look in Sofia’s eyes the last time we spoke haunted me. I told her that I would pursue her, that I would find a way for what we had to last forever, but I hadn’t the slightest clue how to do that. She was an ache in my heart that I knew would never go away until I was certain that she would be mine to keep for eternity.
When her birthday came, it felt like losing a precious year. The night before it, I was moping around like a dismal sap over the feeling of her slipping away from my grasp. I was being pathetic and I knew it, but I couldn’t help myself.
Still, the day came and I was determined to set myself aside in order to make her happy. That was her day. I wasn’t going to ruin it with my selfishness.
I sneaked into her room in the wee hours of what could be considered as morning at The Shade. I was disturbed to see that her beautiful face was marred with agitation as she whispered in her sleep. She was clutching her blanket so tightly, her knuckles had become white. She began tossing and turning on the bed and a cold sweat was forming on her brow.
No other person in the world could make me as anxious and worried as she could. I hurried forward and sat near her on the bed, unsure of what to do.
“Sofia?” I breathed out as I tentatively ran a hand over her bare arm.
“No!!” she screamed the moment my hand came in contact with her. She slapped it away. “Don’t touch me! No!” Tears began streaming down her face, her eyes still shut.
Panic surged within me, desperate to get her out of the nightmare she was in. All caution toward gentleness left me as I began shaking her awake. “Wake up, Sofia.”
“No!” She screamed once again before jolting up on the bed in a sitting position, her whole body trembling. The last time I saw her this terrified was when she woke up to find Gwen murdered in her bedroom.
When her eyes finally settled on me, I was almost sure she’d scream from fright, so I was relieved when she gasped “Derek!” before throwing her arms around me. “Don’t let them take me!” she whispered into my ear, her embrace tightening around my neck.
Her words gripped at my chest. “Shh…it was just a dream, Sofia…no one’s going to take you away…not while I’m around.” My heart began to pound just at the idea of anyone attempting to take her from me. “Everything’s going to be alright,” I assured her. The way her body was shaking did little to ease my fears, even though I was desperately trying to ease hers.
It took a couple of minutes before she finally calmed down.
“Don’t leave me…” she pleaded, sounding childlike and unsure.
“I’m not going anywhere.” I pulled away from her embrace in order to take a look at her, but she clung on to me. “I’ll be right here with you for as long as you need me.” I put my arms around her, my palms running the length of her back in order to reassure her. It was the closest we’d touched for the past week.
I leaned back against the bed’s headboard before tapping the space in between us, coaxing her to snuggle against me. She obliged without hesitation. I was once again so keenly aware of her vulnerability, of how fragile she was. Yet at the same time, I was fully aware of her strength and her determination as a person.
“Care to tell me what the dream was about?” I asked after a comfortable period of time, just as she leaned her head against my shoulder. I had my arm around her and was softly brushing her kneecaps with my fingers.
“I’m not sure how to explain it. I was being pulled away by so many shadows. Away from you. Away from here. Waking up, all I can think about is Vivienne’s memories of Borys Maslen. What he did to her when he took her…”
My gut clenched at the thought. A lifetime ago, we owned a farm in a small village lorded over by the Maslens. When Borys first saw my twin, he took an immediate liking to her. She couldn’t stand him. Neither could I. When our mother died and I, convinced that vampires took our mother’s life, left to join the hunters, my father agreed to have my sister betrothed to Borys in exchange for a generous dowry—a dowry that was quickly spent on gambling, women and ale.
Vivienne never talked about what she went through in Borys’ hands—enough indication in itself that she must’ve gone through hell. I never asked. I didn’t want to know.
I, however, wondered why Vivienne felt the need to share those memories with Sofia. Why does Sofia have to know? I didn’t know what to make of the whole thing. The fact that Sofia would connect her nightmare to my twin’s darkest memories left me unsettled, but I tried to keep a brave face. “Don’t worry, Sofia. I would never allow you to suffer the same fate Vivienne did. I’d rather die.”
“I know.” She nodded. “But I don’t want you to ever die, Derek…especially not on my behalf.”
To that, I remained quiet. I knew that if I could trade my immortality to keep her alive, I would do it and I wasn’t about to promise her that I wouldn’t risk my life for hers, because should the need arise, I knew I would. Without hesitation.
“So today’s the day…” she spoke up after a short silence.
I pulled her closer to me, realizing how much I missed her. “Happy birthday,” I said and pressed my lips against her temple.
What she said next echoed my heart’s desire. “I wish I could stop time.”
She was aging and I wasn’t. Her every birthday would be a reminder that time was slowly, but steadily, pulling us apart. I wanted to beg her to become one of us—a vampire—but I knew she wouldn’t.