Me and Davy ain’t never been given it in the first place so there weren’t never a chance for him to take it away.
“Maybe that’s our reward,” Davy says as we ride. “Maybe he’ll get some outta the cellar and we’ll finally see what it’s like.”
Our reward, I think. We.
I run my hand along Angharrad’s flank, feeling the chill in her skin. “Almost home, girl,” I whisper twixt her ears. “Nice warm barn.”
Warm, she thinks. Boy colt.
“Angharrad,” I say back.
Horses ain’t pets and they’re half-crazy all the time but I’ve been learning if you treat ’em right, they get to know you.
Boy colt, she thinks again and it’s like I’m part of her herd.
“Maybe the reward is women!” Davy says suddenly. “Yeah! Maybe he’s gonna give us some women and finally make a real man outta you.”
“Shut up,” I say, but it don’t turn into a fight. Come to think of it, we ain’t had a fight in a good long while.
We’re just used to each other, I guess.
We don’t hardly see women no more neither. When the communicayshuns tower fell, they were all confined to their houses again, except when teams of ’em are working the fields, readying for next year’s planting, under guard from armed soldiers. The visits from husbands and sons and fathers are now once a week at most.
We hear stories about soldiers and women, stories about soldiers getting into dormitories at night, stories about awful things going on that no one gets punished for.
And that don’t even count the women in the prisons, prisons I’ve only seen from the cathedral tower, a group of converted buildings in the far west of town down near the foot of the waterfalls. Who knows what goes on inside? They’re way far away, outta sight of everyone ’cept for those that guard ’em.
Kinda like the Spackle.
“Jesus, Todd,” Davy says, “the racket you make by thinking all the time.”
Which is exactly the kinda thing I’ve learned to ignore from Davy. Except this time, he called me Todd.
We leave our horses in the barn near the cathedral. Davy walks me back to the cathedral, tho I don’t really need a guard no more.
Cuz where would I go?
I go in the front door and I hear, “Todd?”
The Mayor’s waiting for me.
“Yes, sir?” I say.
“Always so polite,” he smiles, walking towards me, boots clicking on the marble. “You seem better lately, calmer.” He stops a metre away. “Have you been using the tool?”
Huh?
“What tool?” I ask.
He sighs a little. And then–
I AM THE CIRCLE AND THE CIRCLE IS ME.
I put a hand up to the side of my head. “How do you do that?”
“Noise can be used, Todd,” he says. “If you’re disciplined enough. And the first step is using the tool.”
“I am the Circle and the Circle is me?”
“It’s a way of centring yourself,” he nods, “a way of aligning your Noise, of reining it in, controlling it, and a man who can control his Noise is a man with an advantage.”
I remember him chanting away back in his house in old Prentisstown, how sharp and scary his Noise sounded compared to other men’s, how much it felt like–
Like a weapon.
“What’s the Circle?” I ask.
“Your destiny, Todd Hewitt. A circle is a closed system. There’s no way of getting out, so it’s easier if you don’t fight it.”
I AM THE CIRCLE AND THE CIRCLE IS ME.
But this time, my voice is in there, too.
“There’s so much I look forward to teaching you,” he says and leaves without saying good night.
I pace the walls of the bell tower, looking out towards the falls in the west, the hill with the notch on it in the south, and to the east, the hills that lead towards the monastery, tho you can’t see it from here. All you can see is New Prentisstown, indoors and huddled together as a cold night settles in.
She’s out there somewhere.
A month and she ain’t come.
A month and–
(shut up)
(just effing shut up your effing whiny mouth)
I start pacing again.
We’ve got glass in the openings now and a heater to protect us from the autumn nights. More blankets, too, and a light and approved books for Mayor Ledger to read.
“Still a prison, though, isn’t it?” he says behind me, mouth full. “You’d think he’d have at least found a better place for you by now.”
“I sure wish everyone would stop thinking it’s okay to read me all the damn time,” I say, without turning around.
“He probably wants you out of the town,” he says, finishing up his meal, which is just over half what we used to get. “Wants you away from all the rumours.”
“What rumours?” I say, tho I’m barely interested.
“Oh, rumours of the great mind-control powers of our Mayor. Rumours of weapons made from Noise. Rumours he can fly, I don’t doubt.”
I don’t look back at him and I keep my Noise quiet.
I am the Circle, I think.
And then I stop.
It’s after midnight when the first one goes off.
Boom!
I jump a little on my mattress but that’s all.
“Where do you think that was?” Mayor Ledger asks, also not rising from his bed.
“Sounded near east,” I say, looking up into the dark of the tower bells. “Maybe a food store?”
We wait for the second. There’s always a second now. As the soldiers rush to the first, the Answer take the chance for a second–
Boom!
“There it is,” Mayor Ledger says, sitting up in bed and looking out of an opening. I get up, too.
“Damn,” he says.
“What?” I say, moving next to him.
“I think that was the water plant down by the river.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means we’ll have to boil every stupid cup of–”
BOOM!
There’s a huge flash that causes me and Mayor Ledger to flinch back from the window. The glass shakes in its frames.
And every light in New Prentisstown goes off.
“The power station,” Mayor Ledger says, unbelieving. “But that’s guarded every hour of the day. How could they possibly get to that?”