Krishna. Let me have one more chance. That is all I ask.
To stop her. To save the child.
My heart keeps beating. The agony keeps throbbing.
Time goes by but pain counts it at a different speed. This time is what is called hard time by all those who have suffered. And hard times bring hard truths. My brains may be leaking from my ears, but I finally understand that Kalika cannot be defeated by guns and bullets. Twenty people, maybe more, had to die to make me understand that.
But I will never understand how she can be so cruel.
"But anyone who sees through the veil of m aya cannot fathom the divine will. The veil is stained and the absolute is without flaw. One cannot reveal the other. In the same way, I am your own daughter but you cannot fathom me."
No matter how many die, I will not understand.
From far away, I feel feverish activity. It comes, I realize,from deep inside me, in my muscles, beneath my veins,and all around my joints. My supernatural body is trying to knit itself back together. Beneath my shirt,I feel my sternum grow back together into one piece. Next there are pops in my legs and ankles. The bones are resetting themselves at a frantic pace. My jaw flexes involuntarily and I feel new teeth pressing up from beneath my mangled gums. Finally I am able to open my eyes, and I give myself a gentle push toward the surface. The beat of my heart has turned to a shriek. If I do not draw in a breath soon, especially with all the repair work going on, my chest will explode.
The night air tastes good. Never better.
On the surface, I am forced to float on my back for a minute before I am strong enough to make my way to the side. There is a crowd gathered, and some of the people in it are cops. I hear screams as I begin to pull myself out of the pool, but a brave cop rushes to my side with a clean blanket. He is fat with a bushy mustache. He carefully wraps the blanket around me.
"You're going to be OK," he says. "Just lie here on the deck.Don't try to move. You may have broken bones."
I wipe at the blood on my face. I know I don't have much time.
"You have friends in the other building."
"No, I'm fine," I say. "Don't worry about me."
I try to stand but he tries to stop me.
"But you were thrown off that balcony," he protests. "It's a miracle you're still alive."
I finish wiping my face and hair with his blanket and hand it back to him all bloody." You're a kind man," I say. "But I have to get out of here."
I move too fast for him to stop meyet I am far from healed.Even as I dash across Olympic Boulevard,I feel the tissue inside my body struggling tor ecover. If I meetK alika in the next minute I will be at a serious disadvantage. Not that it will make much difference. But it is fear that hurries me along,or maybe it is foolish hope. Hope that she might have let some of them survive.
In the office building,the elevator takes me to the thirty-sixth floor. The stairs are too much for me in my condition. When I stagger out of the elevator, the first thing I see is blood. For a moment all hope in me dies. The door to Suite 3670 has been pulverized. Yet there is a sound, soft words, faint moans. I hurry forward and peer inside.
Seymour and Dr. Seter huddle in one corner. My old friend appears to be taking care of the doctor, who's having trouble catching his breath. Twenty feet away from them, in the center of the room,the two sharpshooters lie in an ugly heap. It looks as if she kicked each of them so hard in the chest that she ruptured their heartsan old Sita move. Yet Seymour and Dr. Seter appear unharmed. I almost weep I am so relieved.
It is only then I notice that James is missing.
"Where is he?" I demand.
They jump and look over. I am still covered with blood.
Dr. Seter gasps. "We thought you were dead."
I stride toward them and look down. "Where is James? Did she take him?"
Seymour stands and shakes his head. "He went after you,right after you left. We haven't seen him since." He hugs me; there are tears on his face. "Thank God you're alive. We sawher throw you off the-balcony. I thought it was all over."
I comfort him, but also catch his eye. "That was someone else you saw. Not me." I turn back to the doctor. "You have a heart condition. Will you be all right? Should I call for an ambulance?"
"I'll be fine." He reaches up. "Just help me up."
I do so. "What happened?" I ask.
Seymour gestures weakly. "The door exploded and she walked in. The guys tried to shoot her, but she didn't give thema chance. Then she pinned Dr. Seter to the wall and demanded he tellh er where the scripture was."
Dr. Seter looks crushed. "And I told her everything.I tried to resist but I couldn't." He stops and he is close to crying."Do you think she got James?"
"No." The voice comes from the door. James steps into the room. He surveys the dead sharpshooters and a shudder goes through his body. "I am unharmed,"he says.
I step to his side. "Did you see her leave?"
"Yes. She stole a cop car and drove away in it."
"Did you see anything else?"
I am asking if he saw me hit the pool and survive.
He stares at me. "No. I mean, what do you mean? It's a holocaust over there."
"Nothing. I am sorry about tonight," I say. "I know the words sound stupid but I must say them. At least nowyou can see why she must be stopped."
Placing my hand over his heart,as I had the previous night, I am surprised at how evenly it is beating. He got rattled duringK alika's attack but has quickly regained his cool. I add,"You have to show me the remainder of your scripture. If it is still there."
11
Kalika was thorough. The Suzama Society has only two members now. The news shocks me. Surely, I say to James as he drives us toward Palm Springs,there have to be some personnel at the center who weren't involved in the attack.
"No," he replies. He adds with a bitter laugh, "We're all true believers. We believed your story, and went after the Dark Mother with everything we had." The morning sun is bright in his face but James appears close to despair as he thinks about the previous night. "We donteven have a secretary at the center now."
I reach over and rub his shoulders. "It wasn't your fault. If anyone is to blame, it isI.Iknewwhat she could do."
"But you did warn us. You warned me. If I had listened to your suggestions,maybe fewer would have been killed."