“Wow,” Bellamy said, beaming at her. “Clarke, that’s incredible.” But then his smile faded as a shadow of worry crossed his face.
“What’s wrong?”
He shook his head. “I don’t want to be a total buzzkill,” he said apologetically. “And I’m really glad you found a lead. But that doesn’t change how dangerous it is out there.”
She grabbed his hand and interlaced his fingers with hers. “I know. But that’s not going to stop me.”
“Then I’ll go with you.”
Clarke smiled. “I was hoping you’d say that.” She rose up onto the balls of her feet to kiss him.
“In fact, we should go soon. Tomorrow. Now.”
Clarke stepped back to stare at him. “Bellamy, what are you talking about? We can’t go now. Not after an entire village decamped into a mountain to keep you safe.”
“That’s the point. They shouldn’t have done that. No one person is worth jeopardizing a whole society and definitely not me.”
“We went over this,” Clarke said, squeezing his hand. “It’s more than—”
“Clarke, just listen, please.” He sighed. “I don’t know how to explain it. It’s just—not a lot of people have loved me in my life. And it seems like every time someone cares about me, they get hurt. My mom, Lilly, Octavia…” He trailed off.
Clarke’s heart ached for the little boy who had no one to look out for him, who grew up too fast. “Do you think if they knew that beforehand, it would have changed their love for you one tiny bit?” Clarke asked, holding his gaze.
“I just… I just hate being the reason people are always in danger. I’d never be able to live with myself if anything happened to you.” He ran his finger along her cheek and gave her a sad smile. “I’m not like you. I can’t stitch you back up again.”
“Are you serious? I was a mess when I got here, after everything that had happened with my parents, Wells, Lilly… and then Thalia. I was broken, and you put me back together.”
“You weren’t broken,” Bellamy said, his voice soft as a caress. “You were the strongest, most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. I still can’t figure out what I did to get so lucky.”
“What do I have to do to convince you that I’m the lucky one?” She kissed him, harder than before, letting her lips convey everything she hadn’t found the words to say.
Bellamy broke away, then placed his hand on her waist and grinned. “I think you might be on the right track. Though I could probably use a little more convincing.” He pulled her to him, then stepped backward so he was against the wall, laughing as she grabbed on to his shirt and began to pull him down to the floor.
CHAPTER 19
Wells
Wells hadn’t slept all night. He’d tossed and turned for hours on the hard mattress. It wasn’t so bad for an underground bunker, and it sure beat the ground back at camp, but his mind had been running nonstop, and he felt every bump and wrinkle beneath him. Two upsetting pictures jostled for control of his exhausted brain—a no-man’s-land waiting to be claimed by the most terrifying thought. The first was an image of Bellamy’s still, cold body alone in the woods, the moss stained red with his blood. The second was no better: dozens of Earthborns, sprawled out in the grass and on their front porches, many of them children, massacred by Rhodes and his men.
He must’ve drifted off at some point, though, because when he opened his eyes, his head was on Sasha’s stomach, and she was running her fingers through his hair. “Are you okay?” she asked softly. “You were having a nightmare.”
“Yeah… I’m fine,” he said, though that couldn’t have been further from the truth. Wells couldn’t bear the thought of giving up his friend and brother, Bellamy. He would rather die himself than hand him over to a man like Rhodes. But he couldn’t come to grips with the terrible risk the Earthborns had assumed by protecting Bellamy. As with so many decisions he had seen his father face, Wells knew there was no easy answer.
Sasha let out a long sigh but didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. Wells loved how they could be on the same page without having to say anything at all. “It’ll all be over soon,” she said, still playing with his hair absentmindedly. “We’ll scare Rhodes off, and he’ll decide Bellamy’s not worth all the trouble. And then everything will go back to normal.”
Wells pushed himself up so he was leaning against the back of the bed, next to Sasha. “And what exactly does ‘normal’ mean for us?” he asked with a slightly embarrassed smile. “Until recently, you were locked up in our camp as a prisoner.”
The hundred had caught Sasha lurking near the clearing when Octavia was still missing, and had mistaken her for one of their enemy’s spies.
“I guess that means we get to choose a new normal. You’ll stay here, teach us all those useless things you learned in space, and we’ll teach you how to not die.”
“Hey,” Wells said, feigning hurt. “We had done a pretty good job not dying before you came along.”
“Fine, Mr. Big Shot. In that case, maybe it’s time to even the score and make you my prisoner.” She swung one leg over so she was facing him, then pressed her hands against his chest.
“I’d happily spend the rest of my life as your prisoner if this is what it entails.”
She smiled and hit his shoulder playfully. “I’m serious, though. You’re going to stay here with us, right?”
Wells paused. He’d been so fixated on the immediate challenges—rescuing Bellamy and then staving off Rhodes—that he hadn’t really stopped to think about what would happen after. He couldn’t go back to the camp. That much was clear. He’d never wanted to set sights on Rhodes again, even if that meant abandoning everything he’d worked so hard to build. But could he stay with the Earthborns forever? What would he do? How would he make himself useful? But as his eyes met Sasha’s, he knew he wasn’t going anywhere. He wanted her face to be the first thing he saw every morning, and the last thing he saw before he drifted off to sleep every night. New images flooded his brain, ideas he’d never even thought of in passing, but that somehow made sense when he was looking at Sasha. Maybe someday they’d have a cabin of their own in the Earthborns’ village. The thought made his chest tighten with a fierce longing he’d never felt before. This was the life he wanted. This was what he was fighting for.