My eyes. Cringing, I stared down at my hands in my lap. What have I done?
"Ah, don't worry about it, Sav," Mark said. "He'll come to his senses. All us guys do."
"Here you go." Greg returned and set an overloaded tray in front of me. "I didn't know what you'd want, so I got one of everything."
He wasn't kidding. He'd bought enough food to create a mini mountain on the table. A short laugh of disbelief burst out of me. This could not be happening. "Uh, thanks, Greg. But I'm really not hungry."
"Are the Charmers teaching you not to eat or something?" He held up a piece of pizza and shoved it against my lips. "Here, just eat a little. You're too skinny anyways."
A glance around the table showed two male reflections of what I was feeling.
"Greg, I'm not hungry," I insisted, leaning away from the pizza. "Drop it please, or I'll have to go sit with the girls today."
"Yeah, man, lay off her already," Peter said.
"Back off," Greg growled at his best friend. "I know how to look out for my own girlfriend."
Judging from Peter's stunned expression, Greg had never spoken to either of his friends like that. He had to be acting this way because of me. I had to do something before this situation got any worse.
I stood up. "Sorry, guys. But this is getting out of hand."
"See ya, Sav," Mark said. Peter just looked embarrassed.
"Don't call her that," Greg muttered. "Only her friends and I call her Sav."
I gasped. "Greg, I can't believe you're being so rude. Peter and Mark are my friends, too, now. I don't know what your problem is with them today, but if it's because of me, you need to stop it." I nodded at Peter and Mark. "See you guys later." I turned to walk away.
But Greg grabbed my wrist. "Where are you going?"
I gazed down at his nose, studying his eyes with my peripheral vision. What I found there made me want to dig a hole to hide in. He looked...possessed, just like those boys outside the math building five months ago. As if he'd like to drag me down a very dark and private alley, whether I wanted to go with him or not.
"Uh-uh, not cool, man," Peter muttered.
I made my voice as steady as I could. "Until you can cool off and apologize to your friends, I'll be sitting with the girls." I looked down at his hand clamped on my wrist and tried not to think about the pain radiating out from his grip. "Let go of me, Greg."
He hesitated, and my fingers started to go numb from the lack of blood flow past his grip. What would I do if he refused? If I made a scene today, and then he went back to being his normally sweet self tomorrow...
Finally he let go.
The blood rushed back to my fingers. But I couldn't manage to breathe yet. He might change his mind. I tried to keep my pace slow and steady as I walked away on shaking legs, my sense of hearing in overdrive, my shoulders hunched with worry that he'd try to follow me across the cafeteria. The forty yards between his table and mine had never seemed so long before. I think I managed a normal pace. Yet all I wanted to do was run, to get out of that cafeteria with all those people watching and keep going until I was off the campus and safe. Safe from Greg, my own boyfriend.
Just three days ago, Greg and I had walked over to my table together, laughing and looking forward to the homecoming dance. Tears burned my eyes and threatened to spill over by the time I reached my friends.
"Sav? What's up?" Michelle asked. "I thought today was Monday."
"It is." Carrie's gaze was too observant for comfort today. I avoided looking in her direction.
"What'd he do?" Anne snapped, half rising from her seat while tightening her ponytail as if in preparation for a battle.
I sank down into my chair. "Don't-don't worry about it. He's just being...weird today. He and his buddies started to argue with each other, and I didn't want to listen to it." I was shaking all over. My voice didn't sound right even to my own ears. Taking a deep breath, I held it before slowly letting it out. Forcing a smile, I glanced around the table without actually seeing anything. "So, Michelle, fill me in. What gossip did I miss this weekend?"
Michelle launched into a story long enough to take up the rest of the lunch period. Carrie and Anne let her talk uninterrupted, a feat unheard of in the history of our group friendship. But I didn't hear a word of it.
I kept listening for Greg's approach, dreading the familiar squeak of his sneakers. What am I going to do? My wrist continued to throb where he'd grabbed it. I snuck a peek at it beneath the table then wished I hadn't. The skin was already starting to turn blue with bruises in the distinct shapes of his fingers. I pulled my sleeve down to hide my wrist. Somehow, seeing the physical proof of the change in him made it worse, made it too real to pretend away. I could feel myself shuddering, like a rickety old car barely staying together. But I had to hold it together. I still had two more classes plus Charmers practice to get through.
And then, as the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch period, I remembered. Even on days when we didn't sit together, Greg always walked me out of the cafeteria and up to the catwalk. Oh, Lord.
"Anne, can you walk with me a little today? At least to the catwalk?" The words tumbled out so fast I wondered how she even understood me.
She scowled but nodded. After Carrie and Michelle left with raised eyebrows, Anne and I followed. I refused to look over at Greg's table. I did not want to give my possessed boyfriend any encouragement to join us.
As soon as we exited the cafeteria, Anne stopped me. "All right, what really happened?"
"I... Nothing. It's fine, don't worry about it. Things will settle down soon." I chewed the inner corner of my lips, using the physical twinge of pain to distract me from my fears.
"Uh-huh. I see you're wearing his ring now."
My hand darted up to my necklace. Oh, yeah. I tucked the ring and chain inside my shirt. I couldn't look at her as we walked up the steps to the catwalk. I peeked behind me, but he was nowhere in sight. "Okay, thanks for walking with me. See you tomorrow."
"Promise you'll call if you need me?"
I nodded, the lump in my throat keeping me from speaking as I hurried off to class.
But I might as well have skipped history today for all that I heard in there. The only thing I could focus on was Greg's ring. I couldn't stand the feel of it against my skin, so I took it out of my shirt. And remembered how easily he'd held me captive outside my house after the homecoming dance.