Into the silence, he asked, “Do you ever think about kissing me?”
The dream roared into my head. Obviously my subconscious had given some thought to kissing him, but I wasn’t about to admit that.
“I’m with Connor,” I repeated sternly. I had been with him since I turned sixteen. He was like the old robe that you wore even after it got all frayed and ratty, because it had molded itself through the years until it was perfect for you.
“That’s not an answer,” Rafe insisted.
“It wouldn’t be fair to Connor.” That was as close as I was going to come to admitting that, at the moment, I wanted nothing as much as I wanted to kiss Rafe.
He sighed deeply. “Why couldn’t Connor be a jerk? It’d make things a lot easier. I could just challenge him—”
“Don’t you dare!” Suddenly I was almost shouting, about to go into panic mode. We were human, but we were also beast, and in our world a challenge wasn’t made lightly. A challenge was a fight to the death.
“So you do care about him,” he said as though he was surprised by the revelation.
“Of course I care about him.”
“But do you love him?”
I knew I was supposed to respond with a resounding yes, but my doubts surfaced once again. I did love Connor, but was my love for him deep enough?
I peered over at Rafe, who was staring up at the sky as though he’d find my answer there. The little bit of crescent moon and starlight limned his profile, revealing the strong jut of his chin, the sharp blade of his nose. His silhouette was powerful, as powerful as he was. He’d always seemed older, stronger than the others. Maybe because he’d worked in his dad’s auto shop when he wasn’t a sherpa. Late at night, he still did so. I often saw the light on in that old shed when I drove by. Sometimes I thought about stopping, but just like now, I knew it would be a bad idea. So why had I agreed to go on this ride with him? To quell my adventuresome spirit? For a last chance to do something I wasn’t supposed to do?
Our kind work in the outside world just like humans do. My dad is a lawyer; so is Connor’s. They share a very successful practice. I’ve never gone without; I’ve always had anything I wanted. Rafe, on the other hand, must have always wanted things he couldn’t have, things he’d never been able to afford. Was he suddenly interested in me because I was unattainable?
Instead of answering his question, I posed a scenario of my own. “Maybe you just want me because you can’t have me. Forbidden things are always sweeter, right?”
He turned around to face me squarely. “You really think that’s what this is?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Easy enough to find out…. Kiss me,” he challenged. “If that’s all it is, one kiss should satisfy this hunger I have for you.”
“Hunger? You make it sound like you’re going to devour me.”
“That doesn’t even begin to describe what I’m feeling, Lindsey. It’s primal. It’s like my wolf prowling inside me, waiting for yours to emerge.”
“So it’s just the wolves?”
“You can’t separate them. It’s not two different beings. I’m the wolf. And I’m the human. I think about you all the time, think about kissing you—I want to be with you during your first full moon.”
The intensity of his words terrified me. Connor was fun. He laughed and teased. Rafe was all serious, dark, and foreboding.
I moved around to face him.
The ground beneath my feet suddenly crumbled. I shrieked, my arms flailing as I felt myself dropping. Rafe grabbed me, but I had fallen too far away already. He couldn’t pull me to safety.
All he could do was wrap himself around me as we both tumbled into the black abyss.
FOUR
Much to my astonishment, the landing wasn’t nearly as painful as I’d expected. I only had the wind knocked out of me. Rafe had somehow managed to twist around so he cushioned my landing. I was straddling him. One of his arms held me close. My face was buried in the curve of his neck, and his wonderful scent filled my nostrils.
Lying incredibly still, he gave a low groan.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
It sounded as though he’d forced out the word, and I realized that with me on top of him, he was probably having difficulty breathing. I knew I should have rolled off him. Instead I stayed where I was, relishing the firmness of his body beneath me when I knew I shouldn’t. If he turned his head just a little and I lifted mine a fraction, our mouths would meet and…
“You shouldn’t have said everything that you said up there, Rafe,” I whispered. I should have been scolding him, but my words came out more wistful than forceful.
“I thought you should know.”
“It’s too late.”
“No, it’s not,” he said vehemently. “Not until the full moon.”
I couldn’t do that to Connor, and whatever it was that I was feeling toward Rafe—well, maybe it was just temporary insanity.
“I’ve seen you watching me,” he said quietly. “I thought maybe you were feeling the way I feel.”
“Honestly, Rafe? I don’t know what I’m feeling.” Other than scared, and I wasn’t going to admit that.
I scrambled up and crouched beside him. It was so very dark down there, but I heard movement, so I knew Rafe had sat up. He moaned again.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked.
“Okay enough.”
What did that mean? But he sounded petulant, so I didn’t pursue it. His ego had to be bruised. I wanted to tell him about my dream, tell him that I had been noticing and thinking about him lately, but that confession would only make things worse, and it would be harder on us both. It was best that we just forget this night ever happened. And the best way to achieve that end was to get back to Wolford before anyone noticed.
“So how are we going to get out of here?” I asked.
“I can see. I’ll lead the way.”
I stood up. He took my hand and guided it to his back.
“Hang onto my belt, so it’s easier to follow me.”
“Wouldn’t it be easier if you shifted into a wolf?”
“Not until I can get you to where there’s some light—you can use the headlight on my bike.”