The injustice sent heat rising to Allie’s face.
Met Gabe? MET Gabe? I tried to kill Gabe …
‘After all that happened last term, how could you?’ Jules continued, clearly furious. ‘How could you invite Nathaniel’s people here?’
Allie tried not rise to the bait. There were things she needed to know and getting angry wouldn’t help.
‘I know you’re angry, Jules, but, first, has Sylvain been expelled?’ she asked crisply.
‘Not yet,’ Jules said gracelessly.
Allie ignored the last comment. ‘Is he OK? Have you seen him?’
‘He’s a mess, but he’s alive,’ Jules said. ‘No thanks to you and your brother.’
Closing her eyes, Allie allowed herself a moment of relief. Then she squared her shoulders and faced the prefect.
‘I’m sorry you got in trouble because of me. I would never put Cimmeria in danger knowingly. I didn’t invite Christopher – he just came. And, yes, I wanted to see my brother. I had to know …’ Her breath caught and she paused. ‘I just had to.’
Jules did not seem placated. ‘Sometimes it seems like all you do is put Cimmeria in danger, Allie. Everything was fine until you came here. And, maybe it’s unfair of me to say this, but sometimes I really wish …’ Allie flinched, and Jules stopped, biting her lip. ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t …’
‘No. Don’t apologise.’ Allie said, straightening her spine. ‘I deserve that. You know, I am trying …’ But her voice trailed off. What was the point? Nothing she said would make things different. ‘I’m just … sorry.’
As she said the last words she was already walking away; her ribs felt tight around her lungs, and she had the awful sense that everything had gone horribly wrong.
If Sylvain was fine and hadn’t been expelled then there was one thing Allie needed to do before finding Isabelle and facing whatever happened next. She needed to talk to Carter.
As she walked down the wide hallway through crowds of chatting students, relaxing on a Saturday morning, her steps were slow and reluctant. If Jules knew what had happened, then Carter probably did, too. He knew she’d kept Christopher’s letter a secret from him, and shared it with someone he hated. That she’d lied to him.
He’ll never forgive me, she thought. And why should he? I’m a liar. Like everyone else in my family …
So lost was Allie in self-incrimination that Jo had nearly walked past before she’d spotted her.
‘Hey, Jo, have you seen …’ Her voice trailed off as she got a good look at her friend; Jo’s face was red and raw from tears, her short blonde hair rumpled, her uniform buttoned up crooked. ‘Are you … Jo, what’s the matter?’
‘Is it true?’ Jo stared at her with red eyes. ‘What everybody’s saying. Is it true?’
‘I don’t …’ Allie’s mouth went dry and the pounding in her head grew louder and more insistent. ‘What is everyone saying?’
‘Did you see Gabe last night? Here?’ Jo’s voice rose, and Allie could see people stopping to look at them.
Taking Jo’s hand, she tried to pull her out of the hallway towards the kitchen but Jo recoiled, yanking her hand free and slapping hard at Allie’s wrist. The slap stung and Allie pulled her hand back before she could hit it again.
‘Jo, calm down.’ She looked at her friend with concern, and chose her words carefully. ‘Yes, I saw Gabe last night. He was sneaking around the grounds.’
‘What …’ Jo stared at her as if she were trying to focus. ‘What was he doing here? Why did you see him?’
Allie didn’t know how much of what happened last night was freely known and she lowered her voice. ‘Christopher came to see me.’ The memory of Gabe carrying her brutally through the woods made her stomach churn. ‘Gabe was with him.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ Jo’s accusing tone was unexpected, and Allie stared at her blankly.
‘Tell you what?’
‘You went to see Gabe and you didn’t tell me.’
‘Jesus, Jo.’ Allie fought to keep her temper. Jo clearly wasn’t herself and getting angry wouldn’t help. She didn’t know what had happened, and anything involving Gabe made her irrational. ‘I went to see Christopher and only Christopher. I just wanted some answers. I didn’t know Gabe would be there. He showed up without an invitation. And we shouldn’t be talking about this.’
For a long moment Jo’s eyes searched hers. ‘You wouldn’t talk to Gabe without telling me, would you?’
‘No, Jo,’ Allie said sadly. ‘I wouldn’t do that. But you need to stop thinking about Gabe. He’s not good for you. He’s not good for anyone.’
‘I know that,’ Jo snapped. ‘“But … Don’t you see? I never got to ask him why he did what he did.’
Allie thought about her own driving need to ask Christopher why he left her family and for the first time she thought she understood Jo’s irrational attachment to Gabe.
‘I promise you,’ she reached for Jo’s hand and this time she didn’t hit her, ‘if Gabe ever gets in touch with me, I’ll tell you.’
A short time later, her hand shook as she raised it to knock lightly against Isabelle’s door. The pounding in her head had worsened now, and was more like a jazz drummer beating away at the inside of her skull. But she had to keep going.