SPIDER: OMG, YOU KISSED HIM!?!
SPIDER: Uh, mistype.
HAXOR: Who kissed who?
SPIDER: I said MISTYPE. As in I didn’t mean to type it to you. So eff off.
**HaxOr cries.
**Rukku comforts HaxOr.
SPIDER WHISPERS: God, this party sucks.
KELAHDKA: Okay, we’re going to attack the boss now. Here’s the strategy. . . .
SPIDER WHISPERS: Anyway, you kissed him? Why did you kiss him? I thought you hated him. Or at least thought he was annoying.
RAYNIEDAY WHISPERS: Well, it wasn’t like a real kiss. I mean, we were in this broom closet and . . .
SPIDER WHISPERS: Broom closet? OMG, how sexy is that?!
RAYNIEDAY WHISPERS: Uh, at a funeral home . . .
SPIDER WHISPERS: A Goth’s dream come true.
RAYNIEDAY WHISPERS: And someone was coming. We were afraid they were going to open the door. . . .
SPIDER WHISPERS: . . .
RAYNIEDAY WHISPERS: And so he kissed me. So we’d look like we snuck away from the wake or something if caught.
SPIDER WHISPERS: And . . .
RAYNIEDAY WHISPERS: And what?
SPIDER WHISPERS: Don’t play coy with me, young lady. What was it like?
RAYNIEDAY WHISPERS: /blush
SPIDER WHISPERS: LOL.
KELAHDKA: Okay, here we go! Spider, go ahead and fireball these guys. Hax will keep you healed.
SPIDER: kk.
SPIDER WHISPERS: I want to hear more after this battle.
**Spider firebombs Scarlet Henchman for 400 damage.
HAXOR: Uh, my dog’s scratching at the door. I’ll BRB.
SPIDER: Wait, I already attacked!
**Scarlet Henchman attacks Spider for 430 damage.
**Scarlet Hound of Hell attacks Spider for 200 damage.
**Scarlet Priest attacks Spider for 235 damage.
**Scarlet Rogue attacks Spider for 500 damage.
**Spider dies.
SPIDER: GDAMNIT, HAX!
HAXOR: Okay. Sorry I’m back. Oh, Spider. You’re dead again?
SPIDER WHISPERS: Worst priest ever.
RAYNIEDAY WHISPERS: Sigh.
SPIDER WHISPERS: That’s it. I’m logging out. I can’t take it.
RAYNIEDAY WHISPERS: But don’t you want to hear the rest of the kiss?
SPIDER WHISPERS: Oh, yeah. Okay. One more try. But so help me if he doesn’t heal me again.
RAYNIEDAY WHISPERS: kk.
SPIDER WHISPERS: You can tell me what the kiss was like while my ghost runs back to my dead body.
RAYNIEDAY WHISPERS: Well, it was the most amazing kiss in the entire history of kissing. Like in that movie Princess Bride where they talk about best-ever kisses? This had to be one of them.
SPIDER WHISPERS: That good, huh?
RAYNIEDAY WHISPERS: Yes. Majorly dreamy. You know, Spider, I hate to admit this, but I think I might be in love.
SPIDER WHISPERS: What? With Jareth?
RAYNIEDAY WHISPERS: He seems all cold on the outside, but he’s kind of sweet on the inside. And easy to talk to and stuff.
SPIDER WHISPERS: But he’s a vampire.
RAYNIEDAY WHISPERS: So what? My sis is dating a vampire.
SPIDER WHISPERS: Your sis is not a vampire slayer. And besides, the guy sounds kind of emotionally unavailable.
RAYNIEDAY WHISPERS: Emotionally unavailable? WTF? You suddenly Freud or something?
SPIDER WHISPERS: No. Freud was the “He reminds me of my father” guy.
RAYNIEDAY WHISPERS: Well, Jareth definitely does not remind me of my father.
SPIDER WHISPERS: Are you sure about that? From what you’ve told me he sounds like he’s another guy who won’t share his feelings or get close to anyone for fear he’ll become trapped.
RAYNIEDAY WHISPERS: Jareth isn’t like that. I know he’s not. He’s just been hurt and now he’s afraid.
SPIDER WHISPERS: But what is this big hurt?
RAYNIEDAY WHISPERS: I don’t know. But I’m going to find out.
SPIDER WHISPERS: Okay, sweetie. Good luck. Just don’t get hurt, okay?
RAYNIEDAY WHISPERS: I’ll try.
**Spider resurrects.
SPIDER: Okay, I’m back.
KELAHDKA: Great. We’re going to try this again. Spider, you attack and we’ll cover you.
SPIDER: Uh, Hax, you’re going to heal me this time, right?
HAXOR: Of course. What are you talking about? Why wouldn’t I?
SPIDER: Okay, never mind. Here goes.
**Spider attacks Scarlet Henchman for 300 damage.
HAXOR: Oh. My friend just got here. I’ve got to go.
**Hax0r leaves the party.
**Scarlet Henchman attacks Spider for 100 damage.
**Scarlet Demon Dog attacks Spider for 245 damage.
**Scarlet Rogue attacks Spider for 567 damage.
**Spider dies.
SPIDER: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
POSTED BY RAYNE McDONALD @ 12 A.M.
EIGHT COMMENTS:
HaxOr says . . .
Dude! That’s bogus that I don’t heal Spider. She gets healed plenty. She’s just such a crappy noob mage she gets pwned anyway. I demand you take this libelous slander out of your blog before I sue you for everything you got.
Spider says . . .
First of all, Hax, it’s obviously apparent from that transcript that it is YOU who are the noob! Also, what the hell do you mean, sue? You can’t sue someone over a video game chat. Grow up and get a life.
HaxOr says . . .
I have a life, thank you very much. A life WITHOUT YOU.
Spider says . . .
There is no life after me. Heh. Heh.
HaxOr says . . .
U R A STUPID BITCH.
Spider says . . .
U R A PATHETIC A-HOLE.
HaxOr says . . .
That’s it! Now I’m going to sue you, too, Spider!!!!!