"No. It said no going off in private and fornicating. You really need to read the details more carefully. Anyways, nobody under the age of fifty knows the actual definition of fornicating so it won't hold up in a court of law."
"I told you I'm not doing this, Amy. "Well, unless we pretend to date, and then after we're done with the Israeli army portion of the trip I pretend to break up with you and you pretend 'to be devastated in front of Tori. You can tell Tori after the fake breakup that I'm good at everything. You know, make me sound like the stud you know I am. You have to promise to set us up, without her knowing you're setting us up. Then you've got what you want, and I've got what I want. Deal?"
I don't mention that if he was a real stud, he wouldn't need me pretending he's one. I also don't mention that Tori hates me, so the last person she'll listen to is me. But whatever. "Fine."
Before I can think twice about my deal with Nathan, he takes my hand and leads me to the middle of where our group has assembled around Avi. Avi is standing with his arms crossed, waiting impatiently. His jaw is clenched as he watches us walk up.
"No hand holding," he barks.
Nathan gazes at me with love and tenderness, then kisses the back of my hand before letting it go.
Avi explains that we'll be racing against another team, and it's up to us to make sure everyone participates in each obstacle.
"What if I can't scale that wall?" Miranda asks.
"Have one of your teammates help you over it," Avi tells her. "You're a team. Nobody is left behind. Everyone finishes or everyone loses."
I hate races. They cause me too much stress. But Avi is a pro at this, and I'm ready to prove I'm not all talk and drama. I can kick some serious obstacle course butt when it comes right down to it.
I think.
The first heat is our team against Liron's team. I want to beat her team so bad, I can taste victory in my mouth. If only I paid more attention when they explained how to climb up that rope.
Sergeant B-S blows his trusty whistle.
We all run to the balance beam. One after another we walk across it. Next up are the monkey bars. I haven't done them since third grade, when I caught Michael Mat-thews looking up my pink-and-white plaid skirt. When I fell right on top of that little perv, and my knee connected with his face, I was secretly glad he went crying to Mrs. Feinstein with a bloody nose.
Tori is first. She maneuvers across the monkey bars easily enough, although she skipped the last three bars because she fell. David goes after her, skipping every other one and finishes effortlessly. Mirandas next.
"I can't do this," she tells us.
"Try," I say.
"Why try when I know I can't do it?"
She sounds more and more like me every day--it's scary. Avi said we have to do it, and work as a team, so how can she do it without actually doing it? I'm trying to think outside the box. It's a little hard to think when I see that four people from Liron's team have already successfully crossed the bars.
Ah, I've got it!
"What if we get on all fours and you step on our backs?"
Miranda shrugs.
I tell the team my plan. Me, Jess, Nathan, and the rest of the guys kneel down. Miranda walks on our backs while holding onto the bars above. I catch Avi nodding in approval and pointing to us as he talks to the sergeant. Miranda finishes with the bars really quickly, then profusely apologizes to the rest of the group as we each maneuver across the bars and head to the next obstacle.
Okay, so everyone finished the bars easily except for me. I got to the first bar, then slid off because my palms were sweaty and a bee buzzing in my ear freaked me out, even though I knew it was probably a worker bee. In the end, my team had to go down on their hands and knees again. I walked over them while grabbing each bar, just like Miranda.
The next obstacle is a tunnel. We all climb through easily and stop when we get to the rope. It's at least the height of a flagpole, if not higher.
I turn to my group. "I just want everyone to know that I'm afraid of heights."
"Then don't look down," Tori says. She steps on the first knot and starts climbing. "Hold it so it doesn't swing!" she yells at me.
I hold down the rope, even though I'm tempted to jiggle it hard until she falls off. I don't do it, because that would be mean. I might be whiny and a drama queen, but I like to think I'm not viciously mean to people.
David shimmies up the rope right behind Tori.
When they finish, Jess climbs and then the guys hold the rope for Miranda. For a girl who couldn't do the monkey bars, she's pretty impressive on the rope.
Now it's my turn.
Just the thought of going up that high makes me dizzy. I turn to Nathan. "Nathan, I don't think I can do it. I'll get vertigo. I don't want to die."
Nathan surveys the rope and says to me, "Well, nobody said we can't do it together. Go up and I'll follow behind you. You are my girlfriend; it's only natural we do it as a couple."
I roll my eyes so only Nathan can see. He kisses me on the nose, putting on the boyfriend act for anyone who cares enough to watch. "When Ethan holds the bottom of the rope, I step on the first big knot.
"Go up one," Nathan instructs.
I pull myself up to the next knot, and Nathan steps on the first. His arms are wrapped around my knees, holding me tight. "You okay?"
"So far, so good."
"Go up one more," he says, loosening his hold.