At first I didn't have time to miss Leah; in the hospital my phone rang constantly. My mom kept busy answering calls and urging me to cut my conversations short so I could concentrate on healing. But as the months passed, the calls dwindled, then finally stopped altogether. Everyone else got on with their life while I recovered at home.
Sabrina used to come over and give me updates on school gossip. Now my cousin is close friends with Brianne and Danielle, which is totally strange because before the accident they didn't give her the time of day.
I've never asked Sabrina about Leah ... and Sabrina never offers any information. Leah's brother went to jail because of me. I was sure she hated me because of it. "We'd literally gone from best friends to strangers overnight.
Every time I think of going back to school on Monday, my stomach starts to do flips. I've been home-schooled by public tutors assigned by the school district almost my entire junior year because of the infection in my leg after my first surgery. Now I'm a senior. I don't know which will be worse; getting out of the house or going to school and facing all the kids there. What if I run into Leah? What should I say?
My cousin and old friends are standing at the hostess stand, waiting to be seated. Okay, so it's times like these I wish Mom didn't work as a waitress. Knowing she wears a pink polyester uniform with buttons that read ASK ME ABOUT MY DOUBLE DECKERS doesn't usually bother me. But that, on top of having her serve my former friends, makes me want to hide under the table.
Mom walks out from the back kitchen with my dinner. I watch in agony as she spots Danielle, Brianne, and Sabrina. Her eyes light up. "Hi, girls!" She waves at me to get my attention. "Look Maggie, it's your friends and cousin!"
Brianne and the others give my mom fake smiles. Mom is oblivious.
I give a little half wave and look down at a tiny chip in the corner of the table, hoping my mom will get the hint.
"Why don't you sit with Maggie? She's all alone," I hear Mom say.
Why doesn't she just tell them I'm a loser now, too? Maybe I should get a big "L" for "loser" button and pin it to the front of my shirt.
The girls, including my cousin, just look at each other and shrug. "Sure."
Why pretend to be friends and be all fakey? It's not worth it.
"Hi," I say when Mom leads them to my table and places my favorite dinner in front of me: a French dip, split pea soup, and a side of fries with gravy.
"Mrs. Armstrong, what's your double deckers?" Brianne asks.
The rest of the girls snicker while I sink deeper into my chair.
Mom doesn't flinch and goes right into her spiel. "We have a new selection of double decker sandwiches with turkey and bacon layered with lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise, and our special sauce. We also have new roast beef and cheese double deckers. They all come with two layers of bread in between."
Danielle looks like she's going to be sick. "My arteries are clogging up just hearing about all that cholesterol."
"Forget the cholesterol," Sabrina says. "Two layers of bread? Carb city."
Since when did my cousin become concerned about carbs? I look down at my plate. Carbs and more carbs, cholesterol and more cholesterol.
"I'll have a Diet Coke and a side salad, Mrs. Armstrong," Brianne says.
"Me, too," Sabrina says. "And me," Danielle chimes in.
"We have thousand island, blue cheese, ranch, low-fat Italian ..."
"Thousand island for me," Sabrina says. "On the side."
Danielle furrows her waxed brows, thinking it over. "I guess I'll take the low-fat Italian. On the side."
Brianne cocks her head to the side and says, "No dressing."
No dressing? What happened to pigging out on chips and pizza? I've only been away a year and I'm totally lost.
Mom leaves to enter the orders, and I'm left with my salad-eating cousin, ex-friends ... and my French dip, pea soup, fries and gravy. I was seriously hungry before, but now I can't eat.
Brianne fumbles through her purse and pulls out a small mirror.
"Give me that when you're done," Sabrina says. When my cousin has the mirror, she attempts to check out the back of her head. Which she really can't do with one mirror, but I'm not going to break that news to her.
"What are you doing, Sabrina?" Danielle asks.
"I think I need to get my hair cut before tomorrow."
Danielle laughs. "Girls, stop freaking out. It's a party, not a presidential ball."
"What party?" I ask, then want to die for asking.
Obviously I wasn't invited. I don't want to go, anyway. But now it looks like I want to go.
The girls eye each other. They don't want to tell me about the patty. Ugh, why did I even ask?
"A back-to-school party," Danielle finally says. "At Brian Newcomb's house."
Wouldn't you know, Mom comes with their Diet Cokes and an extra large piece of pie for me at that exact same moment. "Oh, a party! When? Maggie would LOVE to go to a party, wouldn't you honey?"
Instead of answering, I bite off a huge chunk of the French dip. It saves me from having to answer, but now I feel like I'm going to gag on the gargantuan piece of beef in my mouth.
Brianne looks like she's gonna puke just watching me.
"Uh, you can come if you want, Maggie," my cousin says.
It was definitely a pity invite, anyone but a waitress at Auntie Mae's Diner would realize that. I'm not going to the party. I just don't know how I'm going to break it to Mom and let my ex-friends off the hook at the same time.