Sundae was sitting on the ground under one of the large trees in the commons area. Her stare was distant, far away. Rebecca sat down crossed legged in front of her and said, "We need to talk."
It took her a moment to reconnect to reality, which made Rebecca shiver knowing the kind of power she had in the dream world. "Yes, we do." She tilted her head, examining Becca. "Are you angry with me, because that definitely won’t do?"
Lucky and Gabriel stayed standing keeping all the other distractions away while Sundae and Rebecca talked.
"You’re damn right I’m angry with you. What gives you the right to mess with people's heads like that?" Rebecca tried, with little success to keep her voice down. Two students that were within earshot tossed irritated glances at them.
Sundae remained calm, smiled sweetly. "That dream was a gift. I was trying to help you make a choice. You have far more pressing issues to deal with then choosing which guy you want."
She sounded just like Lucky in that moment and Rebecca realized Sundae was right. It still didn’t give her the right to interfere. "That dream was a violation of privacy for all three of us." Rebecca hissed as she pulled off her pink scarf; not her color but it worked in a pinch. The silver mark sparkled under her skin.
Sundae smiled and clapped her hands lightly. "Oh, good, you decided. I was hoping that dream would help you. But I still don't understand why you are upset with me. That dream served its purpose. And now I need your help." She leaned in and whispered the last part to Rebecca.
"I haven't made any decision and a dream isn’t going to help me with that decision." Rebecca clenched her fists at her side, the wolf didn’t like being violated, and neither did Rebecca. This time she did a better job of keeping her voice down. "It’s not right, messing with people's minds like that."
Sundae shrugged. "It’s what I do. You can’t fault me for it anymore than I can fault you for turning into a wolf under the moon." Her logic was difficult to beat. "Look, you’ve a lot of work ahead of you, and you need help. I’m offering my help, but I need some help, too."
Rebecca shook her head, talking to Sundae was like having a discussion with a child. A child that was hard to understand and keep grounded. She sighed heavily and unclenched her fists. "Why do you need my help?"
"Well, since you convinced me to give up my assassination job, my family has disowned me. I need a place to stay."
"I convinced you... assassination job? Dear gods, you were killing people at your age?" Rebecca did tell her in the bathroom the other day that she had a choice to give nice dreams, too. She also knew dream weavers were assassins. But until the girl said it out loud she really didn’t understand the impact of what Sundae could do. If Sundae was killing people she was glad she interfered. But her interference left a permanent mark on her neck and put her in hot water with two of the guys in her life.
Sundae shrugged again. "It was what I did. I’m not proud of it, but it was all I knew. I hated doing it, but... family can be... difficult." She picked a blade of grass at her bare feet and turned back to Rebecca with a smile on her face. "I want to do good. I want to be good. I think I can if I work with you."
It was hard to say no to that. "On one condition."
"Yes?" She looked at Rebecca with hope filled eyes.
"You never create a dream with me in it unless I know about it." Rebecca crossed her arms over her chest making it clear she was determined to get Sundae’s promise.
Sundae pressed her lips together and frowned slightly, "deal."
She may say she wants to change, to be good, but her body language and facial expressions told Rebecca that was going to be a challenge. She didn’t know if she could add one more thing to her plate but decided if she could this would be it. "Okay, good. Gabriel and I can get you set up at the South Mountain Compound after school." Rebecca said as she got up and turned to leave; irritation still bubbling in her veins. She ignored the looks from Lucky and Gabriel as she walked back to the table her family was sitting at. She figured it was better to keep dangerous people on her side to avoid becoming enemies, she already had too many of those.
Rebecca was getting very concerned with the distance that seemed to get larger between Lucky and her. If he changed his mind about liking her that way she just hoped he was still committed to helping her get comfortable with this new life.
Practice kept Savvy and Hunter late after school so Rebecca took advantage of the alone time on the ride home to talk to Lucky. Not that he was very open to the idea of talking.
"Well, now, at least you know I wasn’t conscious when I let Gabriel mark me." Rebecca decided to jump into the deep end, hoping he would save her if she needed him.
"Dreaming it is worse. In the dream, your subconscious is in control." He spoke with that muscle ticking in his cheek.
Rebecca sighed heavily. "You were there, Lucky, I was obviously attracted to both of you, neither one of you getting more of me than the other."
His grip tightened on the steering wheel. "You don't understand this ..."
"World?" Rebecca tried hard to contain her anger. "I told you I didn't like it when you patronized me about 'this world'". She turned toward him, staring directly at his profile. "All that dream proved was that I’m attracted to you both. The wolf wants him and my mind wants you. And, need I remind you, I told you this while I was awake, also.”
He pulled over to the side of the road about a block from her house. "Look, until you know what you want, I think it’s important to keep this relationship business. If you decide on Gabriel I’ll be able to live with that choice..." He swallowed hard, "if things get deeper, if I give up my family commitment to marry Felicity and you still choose Gabriel, I don't know what I’ll do."
He was looking at the situation logically. There was a very good chance that she’d choose Gabriel, just as much of a chance she’d choose him. Truth be told, right now, she had no desire to make that decision. Everything seemed so finite. He would have to give up a lot to be with her, and so would she. If she wanted to make things easy on all of them she’d simply try things with Gabriel. But she didn't want the wolf to win and she had no intention of making that level of commitment to anyone at this point in her life.
"Okay, so we continue to 'pretend' date and avoid any emotional connections." Rebecca nodded, unsure if she could actually do that, but she was willing to try. There was no way she was ready to jump into this new world by herself yet. She needed the safety net he provided, plus she wasn't ready to turn her back on him, personally, either, despite meeting Felicity, and her making it very clear she had a claim on him.
"If you’re okay with that." He nodded sadly.
Rebecca laughed. "It’s not like we have much of a choice now do we?"
He mulled the options over in his mind for a moment. Rebecca could actually see the gears moving through his eyes. "No, I don't think we do have much of a choice at this point." He took her hand in his and she felt that familiar spark of electricity. "But once we get things straightened out politically, and we know your pack is safe from further attack - if you haven’t chosen by that time, I’ll need to cut ties. I hope you understand."
"No, I don't. I don't understand why we can't continue to be friends regardless of any decisions made." Rebecca felt a knife pierce her heart at the idea of losing him as her friend.
"Because, you... you make me feel things when I’m with you. Things 'friends' shouldn’t be feeling or thinking. I never believed in 'love at first sight', but you’d be the person to make me believe in it; if it’s possible. Being just friends would be too painful."
And just like that the conversation was closed; he had a habit of doing that. But what could she say to that? She knew she was attracted to him, but that was where it ended. Love was a word she couldn't even tell her family she felt, let alone someone she met a week ago. It was then that she made the decision; she wouldn’t choose either or them. No choice would be made until everything was settled. It was a promise she made to herself. One she had no intention of breaking, despite Lucky’s threat of leaving.
After a few moments of silence he started the car and took her home. He didn't wait for her to go inside before leaving so she decided to sit on the front porch swing for a few moments. She needed to clear her mind before she went inside.
As she sat outside, lost in random thoughts, that old familiar feeling of being watched pricked the back of her neck. The hair on her arms stood at attention as she scanned the neighborhood. The roofs were clear, the streets were clear, but there was someone watching her. She knew it, and her wolf knew it. Whoever it was would get no satisfaction from her; she simply stood up and went inside to get ready for the night. She was tired of giving him power. She knew he was there, he knew she knew he was there and so his advantage of surprise was gone.
Grandmother wasn’t home so she decided to leave her a note, warning her to watch out for someone watching the house. She slipped the note under her grandmother’s bedroom door and then went upstairs to shower and change.
Chapter Twenty-Six
~”Have we not come to such an impasse in the modern world that we must love our enemies-or else? The chain reaction of evil-hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars- must be broken, or else we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.”
~Martin Luther King, Jr.
Rebecca
The ride to South Mountain was uneventful thanks to the late hour. Rebecca called Gabriel before she was on the road. She never used her phone while driving. Too many people had been hurt or even killed because of it. He had taken Sundae home with him after school. She hoped that decision was not going to bite her in the back end. Before hanging up he asked her to let him know when she hit the trailhead so he could pick her up. She considered running instead, but thought better of it since she had interviews tonight and should probably try and make a good first impression.
It didn’t matter; he was already waiting for her at the trailhead when she arrived. "I thought you said I should call you when I got here." Rebecca laughed when she got out of her car. “I wanted to practice our telepathic link.”
He had his arms crossed over his chest and was leaning easily against the trailhead signpost. He wore the familiar ripped jeans, t-shirt and motorcycle boots and he also wore a black leather jacket. It was the second time she had seen him wear it and it completed his bad boy look to perfection. She wished he would wear it more often but understood why he didn’t; Phoenix weather was too hot for such attire.
"You’re stubborn. I was afraid you were going to try and run the trail instead of calling me." He chuckled as he tossed her the helmet, "besides, it was nice to get out of the house for a while. Sundae and the kids haven’t made friends yet."
Rebecca gave him a curious look. “Were you reading my mind?”
He shook his head. “Our mating bond is stronger. I can pick up on some things better than before but I can’t read you all the time. I can also sense when you are feeling high emotions and make a telepathic call. If we continue to mate I will have full access to your mind and you will have full access to mine.” His grin was evil and sent shivers down her spine.
“So we won’t have private thoughts?” Something about that made her nervous.
“Eventually, but I wouldn’t intrude. Besides we’ll be able to block each other when needed. I already have two personalities swimming around in my brain; I don’t need two more all the time.” He kicked up the bike stand on the cycle. “Shall we?”
She liked the idea of learning to block each other’s thoughts. It made her feel more comfortable. Rebecca jumped on the back of his bike and snuggled up against him, enjoying his scent, and the way his muscles flexed involuntarily at her touch. Things with him seemed so easy, uncomplicated, almost appealing; but she couldn't deny her attraction to Lucky, either. She did notice that when she and Gabriel touched, skin to skin, the mark on her neck got hot and sent electrical waves through her body. She wondered if she could give him one, too.
‘Yes. When you’re ready.’ The wolf answered. ‘He began the mating process. You will finish it by marking him.’
‘It can’t be that simple.’
‘There is nothing simple about it. Two people finding their soul mate is difficult enough. Finding that mate, recognizing that connection, at the right time in both of their lives is even harder. Adding the commitment is more dangerous. Once mated, that is a lifelong commitment. And if you bind yourself with him you will both live as long as each other.’ The wolf spoke.
‘Are you saying that we would die together?’
The wolf nodded in her mind.
The mere idea frightened Rebecca to the core. She couldn’t imagine committing to someone at that level. It was a freaky Romeo and Juliet twist that took away the choice.
‘But that is only if you choose to bind your life energy together. You can simply mate and stay at that level.’
The entire idea was overwhelming. Mating, binding life energies? What crazy world did she enter into and where was the exit door?
‘You will mate with him. You and I both know it is a matter of time. But I promise you this, binding to him will be one hundred percent your choice. I will do nothing to influence you either way.’ The wolf gave her word.
‘But you will interfere with the mating process?’
‘Of course, part of the process in the connection is about the wolves. Think about when you are with Lucky. We are not in agreement which makes things harder. When you are with Gabe things are easier because I am connected to him. Usually the human side is instantly connected too, but you have things blocking you from making that connection and I don’t blame you for making sure it is right.’