Only two guards remained to be asked, Gary Miles and Odell Ellis. They were thick, always whispering about me when I went past. I hesitated over approaching them, given the bad blood between Miles and me, but if they could help find Fade, it would be wrong and cowardly of me to refuse to request their aid. Miles was up the watchtower, standing sentry, and I climbed to the platform.
Quickly, I summarized the situation. And then: “Will you help?”
He flashed me an alarming smile. “So you need me now, do you, puss? Will you make it worth my while?”
Sickness roiled in my belly. I wanted to stab him, but instead I forced a smile and sidestepped the question. “You’d be a hero if we succeed.”
Miles tapped his cheek, thoughtful, and then called down to his pal, Ellis, “Have you heard about our chance to be heroes, Odell?”
“Sure have,” his friend returned. “What do you think?”
“I’d love to spend some time tromping around the woods for a change.”
I didn’t trust their willingness to risk their lives, which meant they might be more trouble than they were worth out there, but it was too late for retraction. Stalker and I would be stuck with them. It occurred to me that I was going out to search for Fade and Frank with three angry males, none of whom had reason to wish me well.
Before he could do more than wink at me, I skinned back down the tower and went to find Longshot. “Ellis and Miles opted to come with Stalker and me.”
A frown seamed his brows together, and he stroked his mustache as he did when he was troubled. “I don’t like it. You watch your back out there. It’ll kill Momma Oaks if anything happens to you.”
That was a low blow, but I shrugged off the guilt. She’d survived the loss of her own son. Momma Oaks was as strong as the tree for which her family was named. She didn’t deserve additional pain but I couldn’t abandon Fade to spare her. He was mine, and I would get him back.
Somehow.
Even from the arms of death itself.
I doubted Ellis and Miles would prove helpful, but Stalker and I could take them. I was bringing them mostly because they’d make good Freak bait. As for their motives, I understood. They believed I’d make an easier target away from the outpost; they could get some revenge on me for humiliating them. Despite Longshot’s worry, I wasn’t stupid, and it wasn’t going to happen.
“I’ll rush it through,” the elder said. “You’ll be on your way by afternoon.”
That wasn’t nearly soon enough. While I waited, the trail went cold. He could be dead, as they all thought. I imagined Fade cooking over the fire they’d stolen from us, and I nearly died. Horror seared me like a live coal, burning endlessly in my heart. Unable to sit still, I returned to Fade and Frank’s tent. Stalker was already there on his hands and knees.
I watched him for a moment, and then asked, “What are you doing?”
“Trying to see which way they went.”
He had been good at tracking in the city, I remembered. It was how he’d earned his name. Out here, there were different signs to read, plants instead of dust and stone, but the fundamentals remained the same. Maybe he could discern something I’d missed. Hope tormented me.
“They dragged them that way,” he said finally. “Out the back of the tent.”
Squatting beside him, I saw the telltale broken blades of grass. People didn’t walk as much back here as they did elsewhere, so the signs were easier to read for someone who knew what to look for.
“Can you tell how many Freaks?”
He shook his head. “Two or three, I’d guess, by the trample patterns. Just enough to move quietly and get the job done.”
“Why would they take them? It makes no sense.”
“Maybe to instill fear? They’ve learned they can’t defeat us with a frontal assault. We have better weapons and training, so they do what’s left, making us scared of the dark instead.”
Though it was full light, a sunny day, a shiver stole through me. I had slept uneasily ever since the fire thief crept into our camp, but this was worse. I didn’t know how I’d ever close my eyes again. When I had been banished from College, I thought I could experience no greater pain than watching my former friends stare at me with judgmental hatred.
I had been wrong. This hurt more.
Stalker covered my hand with his. “I know you’re scared, but I’ll find him for you if he can be found.”
My jaw dropped. Comfort? I didn’t expect that from him.
“Why would you—” I couldn’t complete the question, couldn’t accuse him of being secretly glad Fade had disappeared.
“If I ever win you,” he said, anger bright in his pale eyes, “it will be because you want me more. Not because he’s gone. I’m nobody’s second best.”
“I’m sorry,” I said miserably.
He put aside his fury as if it were a pair of shoes grown too small. “It’s all right. I understand.”
He didn’t touch me, other than his hand on mine, and I felt grateful. If he had, I would have lost control completely—wept or screamed or something worse—though I wasn’t sure what. My head echoed with self-recrimination. I’d failed, utterly and completely. My tent wasn’t that far. Why hadn’t I heard something? The fact nobody else had offered cold comfort. It meant the Freaks were getting better at stealth, learning from the animals in the forest. They were already strong, fierce, and territorial. They didn’t need to excel at quiet kills too.
When I calmed, he drew his hand away. “Let me finish scouting the area. You get our provisions packed.”
That was good thinking. I’d prepare our supplies, so we’d be ready to leave when replacements arrived. Plus, keeping busy meant I couldn’t imagine terrible, heartbreaking scenarios. I didn’t need to think about Fade, dead, Fade bleeding out, his body covered in mortal wounds, never to kiss me again, never to touch me, never to hold or talk to me again. I couldn’t picture his beauty cold and quiet for all time. Hands shaking, I rubbed my hands over my face, banishing the dark possibilities.
True to his word, Stalker gathered information while I packed our gear. It took longer than I expected because men complained about us taking anything. They thought it was a fool’s errand, and that if I wanted to leave, it should be with my weapons and my clothes alone. I could survive in the woods on my own—or not. Ellis and Miles proved of some use in this endeavor. They took what they needed without asking, and glared the other guards into silence. Our uneasy truce lasted until the men arrived from Salvation. I had no great conviction they would continue to be obliging once we left Longshot’s sight.