What I'd misread for desire, I now realized bordered on anger, maybe disappointment that I'd let him win. I swallowed hard. "I figured your ego took a pounding when Rafe beat you. I couldn't do that to you again—not in front of the others."
"You think Rafe beat me?" he asked, slowly enunciating each word as though he found them difficult to comprehend.
"Well, yeah, I know how these things work. A challenge is always a fight to the death, and neither of you died, but Rafe ended up with the girl, which means he won but showed mercy." I realized how awful that sounded, and that I was babbling. So untypical, but I wanted desperately to explain why Pd thrown the fight. "Believe me, if I'd been betting money, I would have bet on you. You're not as in-your-face as Lucas is or as intimidating as Rafe, but you're powerful and strong and I think you're the best of—"
"Just shut up," he growled, right before he covered my mouth with his.
I felt as though I'd waited my whole life for this moment—to kiss Connor. And it was just as feverish and wild as I'd expected. How could it not be when one of us was fortunate enough to harbor a beast inside of him?
My mind stuttered with the reminder that my beast had yet to be released, but I shoved it aside to concentrate on the kiss. My skin tingled where the stubble on his chin abraded mine. There was hunger in his kiss, heated passion, and unexpected tenderness. His strong hands roamed over my back, slipped beneath my shirt, and skimmed across my spine into the curve of my lower back. I moaned softly. I wanted his shirt off. I wanted my fingers trailing over his chest. His hands clamped my hips, and suddenly he was pushing me away.
"He didn't beat me," he ground out. "I walked away because I didn't love Lindsey."
"But—"
"Yeah, I know. Ink on my shoulder. Public declaration she's the one. Well, she wasn't. You don't want to be the rebound girl? Fine, but don't tease me with that fine-honed body either."
Before I could respond, he started to run, discarding his clothes as he went. As he disappeared into the thicket of trees, he transformed into the wolf, the moonlight dancing over his golden fur in the same way that my fingers ached to.
Was he expecting me to strip down, transform, and follow? Was that how I was supposed to prove that I hadn't been teasing him earlier, that I wanted more than kisses from him? By chasing after him?
Breathing heavily, I turned around and placed my back against the tree. What had just happened? Had the test in the gym come about not because Connor had seen it as an ideal opportunity to test my skills, but because…well, because he'd been attracted to me? He'd wanted to get up close and personal—and challenging me had provided him with an acceptable excuse?
He didn't love Lindsey. The words kept echoing over and over in my mind, like a song that I couldn't get out of my head. If he hadn't loved her, there was no rebound. And if there was no rebound—
Was it possible that I could have Connor on my terms?
Yes, right up until the moment when he realized I'd yet to turn into a wolf, that I'd couldn't lope along beside him. That he could hint that I should follow but I still wasn't able to catch up. That, for now, I was only half of what he was.
There was none of the magic that bonded two mates forever. No sharing of moonlight.
I couldn't go on like this. I didn't want to confess it to the elders, but my mom—I could tell her. She'd be back from Europe tomorrow. She might know what was going on. Maybe she was a late bloomer as well.
Dejected by my present reality, I began walking back to the residence. I decided to use the approved front door for my entrance this time. As I rounded the corner, I nearly ran into a couple locked in a passionate embrace. His back was up against the brick and she was up against him. As they kissed, he moaned and she sighed. They reminded me of what I'd just left.
Although I hadn't made any noise, they both suddenly broke apart. Lindsey released a startled laugh. "Oh my God, I thought I smelled Connor."
Without a word, I started walking on. She grabbed my arm and spun me around. "I do smell him," she said. "You've been with him…like, right up against him."
I was beginning to hate how much they could pick up from scent. Nothing was sacred around here.
"So?" I snapped. "You ditched him. What I do with him is none of your business."
"No. I know. I mean, I think it's great. I want him to move on. I just didn't think it would happen so fast."
"Yeah, well, it's a mixed review."
"What do you mean?"
Rafe came up behind her and slid his arms around her waist and rested his chin on the top of her head. They fit together like perfect pieces for an "Over the Moon" puzzle. Did they have to constantly touch? Could they even begin to understand that as happy as I was for them, it still hurt to see them having what I didn't?
I glared at Rafe, hoping to at least get him to back off a few feet. I wasn't going to discuss Connor with Lindsey while he hovered. Hell, I hadn't even made up my mind if I was going to tell her anything.
She lifted a shoulder. "You can go ahead and talk in front of him. He can read my mind."
"Only when he's in wolf form."
"No, actually, pretty much anytime," Rafe said.
I stared at Lindsey. "Anytime…anything?"
"Yeah, but he's bound by my oaths to keep secrets."
Great. Absolutely great. Eventually everyone would know.
"So what happened with Connor?" Lindsey prodded.
I made a shooing motion. "I don't care if he can read your mind. I can't talk with him looking at me."
I'd expected Lindsey to stay stubborn, so I could be equally stubborn and walk away. Instead she twisted around, reached up, and kissed Rafe on the cheek. "I'll find you."
No doubt with that amazing nose she now possessed. Without a word, Rafe spun on his heel and strode away. Lindsey faced me and waited, while I tried to determine how much to tell her.
"Come on," she finally said and took my hand, leading me over to the massive stone steps that led up to the door. Snarling stone wolves sat on pedestals on either side of them. I didn't know why all the wolves around here had to be snarling. I guessed they were symbolic, indicating we wouldn't take crap from anyone.
Lindsey and I dropped down to the steps. They were hard beneath my butt, which was a good thing because it ensured we wouldn't get comfy and talk too long.