"Did you what you were looking for in the ancient book?"
Okay, I should have expected that. I felt all the air leak out of me like a balloon. I considered denying it, but even I thought I could smell my scent from last night lingering in here. Although that was probably just in my head or guilt making me sense things I couldn't possibly sense. I shook my head.
"Would you like to share with us what you were seeking? Maybe we can be of assistance."
"It's really not important enough to bother you with."
I expected them to question whether it was important enough to break rules over, but instead, Elder Wilde studied me quietly, giving me the impression that he knew exactly what I'd been searching for. I expected him to admonish me, or torture me, or make me confess the truth of my situation.
Instead, he simply said, "Well, you are right about our needing to get to the meeting. Your first as a full-fledged Dark Guardian. Should prove interesting."
I kept my expression passive, even though I was stunned. That was it?
As I rose to my feet, Elder Wilde said, "Remember, Brittany, deception may give us what we want for the present, but it will always take it away in the end."
For a minute, I thought he was sharing something he'd read in a fortune cookie, but then I realized he was way too serious.
"What are you talking about?" I asked nervously. Did they know the truth?
"May you never find out."
As I followed them out of the room, I couldn't help but feel that I was being tested in some way. But the greater test was Bio-Chrome. I knew I could help the Dark Guardians defeat them—but only if I was a Guardian.
If I didn't shift during the next full moon, then I'd confess everything to the elders, ask for their guidance and assistance.
But for now, I was determined to be what I'd always longed to be: a Dark Guardian.
When we arrived at the council room, I hung back, respectfully waiting for the elders to take their place at the large round table that occupied the center of the room. Twelve additional chairs circled it. Eleven Guardians were standing behind their chairs. Kayla stood on one side of Lucas. Rafe, his second-in-command, was on the other side of him. Lindsey stood so close to Rafe that light could barely filter between their shoulders. Her fingers continually touched his, and then retreated, as though she couldn't stand the thought of not having some skin-to-skin contact with him, but knew it was inappropriate here in the council room. Her golden eyes were focused on me, as though I were the only one in the room. They were imploring me to speak up, to reveal my ugly secret, to release her of the burden of truth she carried on her shoulders.
Sorry, Lindsey. No can do.
The chair between Connor and Daniel was empty. Staring at it, knowing it was designated for me, I swallowed hard. Every meeting before this one, I'd sat in a chair along a wall, the place designated for the novices. A Dark Guardian who hadn't yet been caressed by a full moon. The significance of this meeting slammed into me. I was finally qualified to sit at the big table. Or so they all thought.
I knew I needed to move forward but my feet felt as though someone had super-glued them to the floor. More than moving forward, I knew Lindsey was right. I needed to confess my deep, dark secret. I knew I did. I knew it was wrong to place my butt in a chair that rightfully belonged to a warrior. I needed to just suck it up, accept the reality of—
Lucas grinned at me, his silver eyes teasing. "Come on, Brittany. I don't know anyone who's wanted—or deserved—this moment more than you."
So true. No one else put in the hours working out like I did. No one else ate as healthily—and boringly—as I did. Chocolate hadn't passed between my lips in years. I'd wanted to be the best Dark Guardian ever. No reason I couldn't be. I was smart and strong. I'd trained in the martial arts. I knew this wilderness as well as I knew every feature of Connor's face. I'd willingly die for the Shifters—without hesitation or regret.
What did it matter if I hadn't yet shifted? I'd been prepared to pull my weight before my full moon. My devotion, my readiness hadn't changed.
With a deep breath, I strode forward to stand behind the empty chair beside Connor. Dark blond bristles shadowed his face as though he hadn't bothered to shave since the last full moon. His hair was combed back in its usual style but looked as though he'd merely used his fingers rather than a comb to arrange it. He'd never looked sexier. As wrong as it was, I drew strength from his nearness, as though I could actually feel the warmth of his body reaching out to mine.
With a scraping of chairs over the stone floor, everyone took a seat.
Connor leaned over and I caught a whiff of his unique earthy scent. "Welcome to the big table," he whispered in a low voice.
Holding his blue gaze, I fought not to grin like an idiot, not only because I was sitting at the big table but because he was there beside me, acknowledging me. "Thanks. How's the arm?"
His eyes hardened and I realized that was not exactly the best conversation starter. I should have gone with, "What did you discover out there about the snare?"
"Healed," he said curtly, and whatever camaraderie might have been developing between us came to a screeching halt. He turned his attention to Lucas.
Because I could feel Daniel studying me, I smiled at him. He gave me a thumbs-up. He really was a nice guy. We just didn't have any chemistry.
"As most of you know," Lucas began and I directed my attention to our leader, "we recently found a lab that Bio-Chrome had set up at the northeastern edge of the forest. They captured Connor, Kayla, and me—but we managed to escape with help from Lindsey and Rafe."
I slid my gaze over to Lindsey and Rafe. His hair was as dark as mine, but that was where our similarities ended. His eyes were brown and so full of adoration for Lindsey that I was stunned to realize how much inner strength it must have taken for him to keep all those emotions hidden away. But was I really any different when it came to what I felt for Connor?
We believed in destiny, that our mates were kindred souls. I shifted my gaze over to Connor and it collided with his. My heart slammed against my ribs with the intensity of his stare. Was he watching me so closely because he was suddenly interested or was it because he was beginning to sense that I didn't belong at this table?
Soul mates were supposed to be able to decipher each other's thoughts. Could I even afford to have a mate now? Or would my thoughts always be locked away from other Shifters?