"Don't shift back yet," I said as I scooted over to him. I buried my face, my fingers in his fur. I inhaled the scent of animal, the scent of Connor.
I rubbed his back. He emitted a low growl of approval.
"Do you know how beautiful you are?" I asked. "All the Shifters—in wolf form—are incredible but I've always thought you were the most stunning. I wanted so badly to have this."
He nuzzled my neck. I knew he was trying to comfort me. For all the closeness that had developed between us during this ordeal, I knew that we'd never be as close as Kayla and Lucas or Lindsey and Rafe. They had everything. Each other and the ability to shift. To always be in sync. To run through the woods together. To play in wolf form. To speak mind to mind. To embrace all that they were.
Connor and I would have only a portion of that. It was so not fair to him. I knew I would have to walk away when we were free.
He nudged my shoulder with his nose. As much as I hated to, I released my hold on him. He padded away. I didn't follow him with my eyes. I drew my knees up, wrapped my arms around my legs, and placed my chin on the support I'd created. I heaved a deep sigh. Could he truly ever understand the wonder of what he was?
I couldn't blame Mason for wanting it, because I wanted it, too.
Connor, now in human form, sat and put his arm around me. He was back in his jeans and now he was wearing the sweatshirt. "They're here," he whispered.
I jerked my head around, knowing he referred to the other Shifters. "So soon?"
He nodded.
"How many?"
"They have an entire army. Even all the adults they could muster are here. All we have to do is pretend it's business as usual in our little prison today—then tonight, freedom. And with any luck, the destruction of Bio-Chrome." He balled his fist. "I hope they get to us quick so we get a chance to join in the fight."
My stomach dropped. I wouldn't be able to fight like they did. I could imagine them all whispering in their minds, "Why isn't she shifting?"
As though reading my thoughts, Connor tucked his fingers beneath my chin and tilted my face toward his. "You have a mean roundhouse kick. You'll be an asset."
I forced myself to smile. "I'll do what I can."
He kissed me gently, more of a nibbling than anything passionate.
On the monitors where they were watching us, it probably just looked like we were snuggling. But in reality, my world was in the process of crumbling around me.
"So do you know anything at all about your father?" Connor asked.
We were sitting side by side while we waited. He was constantly combing his fingers through my hair as though he liked the feel of it as much as I enjoyed the feel of his fur. We were both restless, edgy, but for different reasons.
Connor was fighting not to keep shifting so he could communicate with the others. He knew Mason would get suspicious. I could also feel the tension thrumming through Connor. He was more than ready for the battle to begin.
Me? I was fighting not to shout out to Mason. My chance to be complete, to have the ability to shift was slipping away.
"His name is Antonio. She met him in France."
"Antonio? That's not very French sounding."
That hadn't even occurred to me when she told me. "Maybe he's not French. Maybe that's just where she met him. I didn't exactly hang around for details when she told me. I was so mad."
"I can't believe she never told you."
"I know, but that's so my mom. Sometimes it's like she thinks if she doesn't face things, they'll just go away."
"And that's so not you."
"Usually, but I wasn't good about facing the truth after I didn't shift. I was coming up with some excuses that were pretty out there."
He smiled. "I can imagine. I guess someone—the elders maybe—should have figured something out. Mates don't usually leave, you know, on account of that whole mate-for-life thing."
I shrugged. "There are always exceptions. Look at Rafe's dad. I'm not sure I ever saw him sober. And all those times Rafe came to school bruised. Some Shifters inherit the worst of human characteristics, I guess. I thought that was my dad."
"Everything's going to be all right, Brittany," Connor assured me and kissed my cheek.
I nodded. For him maybe. But I knew if I had to choose for things to be all right for just one of us—I'd choose Connor. Even if it meant losing him in the end.
He might have told me he loved me last night, but the emotion wouldn't stick once we were back among his kind. My dad had probably used the same words with my mother—but then he'd seen the reality of what she was. Or maybe Mom had become disgusted with what he wasn't. I wished now that I'd asked her more questions, but I'd been so mad at her for lying to me all these years. It felt as if she'd purposely tried to ruin my life.
"So when they took you out of here, what did it look like? What can you remember of the layout?"
I put a little bit of space between us and began drawing an invisible map with my finger. I explained the route we'd taken to get to the living quarters. Everything I'd seen, heard, smelled, knowing even as I provided inadequate descriptions that they would have been far richer if I'd been a Shifter with keener senses.
"They didn't take me to the lab," I said quietly.
"That surprises me. I figured Mason would be dying to share his masterpiece in progress with you."
"I keep thinking about those little ferrets he turned into wolves."
"I'd bet money they died."
I jerked my head around. "You think?"
"Like I said before, I'm no biologist but Mason is messing with stuff he can't possibly understand."
"But do you think we are being selfish by not willingly sharing what we know, what you are? I mean, what if your ability to heal could really heal others?"
"Honestly, Brit? We have Shifters working in medical research because before the full moon, we're as vulnerable as anyone to disease or injury. I truly believe that if there was a way to bring our healing abilities to others they'd have made it happen. They understand how we work way better than Mason."
He was right. Shifters worked at all types of jobs in cities around the world.
Our conversation dwindled to nothing as the hours dragged by and we became lost in thought regarding what we were each going to face. Connor was hoping Lucas would be able to find him quickly and release him so he'd be in the thick of battle. I was wondering if I could get to the lab in time after I was released.