Meyer points to me and jabs his finger into the air with each word as he says, "Okay, Becker. In my office." I follow him into his office, then he closes the door once I'm sitting in the chair opposite his desk. He's pissed off. I can tell by the way his neck muscles twitch and the colors of his face and bald head turn a deep shade of red. He doesn't even sit in his chair. He sits on the edge of his desk right over me. He's trying to be intimidating, to scare me into being a good kid. But he's never roomed with a guy like Julio. And if Julio didn't intimidate me, Meyer doesn't stand a chance.
"Why did you start a fight with Drew Rudolph?"
I can't tell him the truth. If the whole thing comes out, Leah could be dragged into this, too. And Kendra. And Maggie. Leah has been acting creepy. I don't know what she'll end up saying. Will she blurt out the truth, that she was the one who hit Maggie? "I don't know," I say dumbly.
Meyer's anger deflates while frustration takes its place. "What am I going to do with you, Becker? I've had a parent call and say you were responsible for coercing a peer into consuming alcohol. Another complaint was filed by the wrestling coach from Fremont ... something about you bullying one of his top wrestlers. You're on thin ice here, on the fast track to being a delinquent forever. Don't you understand the only person your behavior ultimately hurts is you? Unless you can explain yourself, I have no choice but to give you a suspension."
Suspension? Oh, shit. I would defend myself, but it's no use. The guy wouldn't believe me, anyway. I stay silent.
"You have nothing to say about these accusations?"
"Nope."
"Caleb, have a seat outside while I figure out how to proceed with this."
So now I'm stuck in another metal chair outside Meyer's office. Closed doors and metal chairs are the recurring themes in my life.
I look up when the door to the front office opens.
Maggie walks in the office, just feet from where I'm sitting. Only able to check her out from the side, I study her face. She has high cheekbones and a straight nose. It's not small; it has a little bump in the middle, almost as if God wanted to put it there so her nose wouldn't be perfect. She wouldn't be Maggie without that imperfection. She's not in-your-face pretty like Kendra, but there's something about her ... that mix of insecurity and regal features that don't fit. Every one of her features reflects who she is. Except her scars.
Those I wish I could take away with a touch of my fingers and transfer them to my own body.
Maggie is focused on the counter, reading something intently. Her hair falls like a curtain shielding her face from me. I'm barely aware of Sabrina, Kendra, and Hannah in the room, too. This place is getting crowded.
Mrs. Gibbons, the art teacher, knocks on Meyer's door. She peeks her head inside when he barks for her to enter his sacred domain. "We've had a situation with some of the senior girls."
The girls head single file into his office. Kendra looks defiant, Hannah looks scared, Sabrina looks indifferent, and Maggie is ... she seems resolved to handle whatever comes flying at her.
The girls come out a few minutes later. Maggie doesn't look at me. She files out of the office with the rest of the girls.
Meyer reappears at the door. "Okay, Becker. Your turn."
I go into his office and am directed to yet another chair. This one is padded. I rest my elbows on my knees and think of what Meyer said: I'm on the fast track for being a delinquent forever. Maggie was probably right: if you disappear, then you don't have to always be reminded of the past wherever you turn.
I did my community service, but haven't gotten my final release papers. Damon is seriously going to kill me when he finds out I got in a fight. What the hell is going to happen when I go back to the DOC? I hope Mom and Leah don't go over the edge.
I hear the clicking of shoes and look up. My mother is standing in the doorway of Meyer's office. Her lips are tight. I can sense she has a loose rein on control because I see her wobbling slightly from side to side.
"Ah, Mrs. Becker," Meyer says. "Thanks for coming so quickly."
Mom nods and holds onto the door frame. "So ... should I take him home?"
Meyer walks up to my mom and puts his hand on her shoulder to steady her. "The boy whom Caleb assaulted has not filed any charges as yet, but policy forces me to keep him off school grounds until this is resolved. You'll get a call from me after I've consulted the district superintendent to inform you of the length of Caleb's suspension."
Mom nods, then focuses on me. She looks tired. The deep lines under her eyes and at the corners of her mouth look deeper than I've ever seen them. I put those lines there. Without meaning to, I've broken my mother's spirit.
In the car, I've got nothing to say. And when silent tears start dripping out of her tired eyes, all I want to do is escape. Because I can't tell her anything to make her feel better, I can't fight this snowball of bullshit that has become my life.
I sit in my room until darkness falls, when someone knocks on my door. "Caleb, open up," a familiar transition counselor's voice rings out.
Great, now I get to be reamed out by Damon.
"Let me have it," I say dryly as I let him in.
If you've never seen a black guy's face get red with anger, you've never seen Damon Manning pissed off. "What the hell is going on? I got a call from your principal this afternoon telling me you're suspended for two weeks. You want to go back to the DOC?"