"What do you want?" Leah says through the door.
I pound harder. "Leah, open this door or I'll break it down."
She opens it right before I'm about to kick it open. "What?"
"How long has Mom been abusing prescription drugs?"
She shrugs. "After you got sentenced. She stopped for a while, but started up again when you got released."
"How can you just stand there like it's no big deal?"
Leah stares at me and cocks her head to the side, her black makeup in stark contrast to her white skin, making her look like a mime. "When she's numb she doesn't ask questions."
Huh? I stare at my sister as if she's a ghost, a shell of a person I once knew. "Do you even have a conscience anymore?"
Leah shrugs.
I grab her shoulders and yell, "Leah, grow up and finally take responsibility for something ... anything!"
Tears start streaming down her cheeks. I shouldn't be satisfied that I'm making my sister cry, but I swear any emotion from her pleases me. I feel her emotions, too. But they're so conflicted with mine I can't be close to her. Not now. A part of Leah has always been a part of me. Her misery has become mine, and right now I want nothing to do with it.
She's sobbing while I leave the house and head down the street.
I walk ten houses away before I realize where I'm headed: Mrs. Reynolds' house. The lady is the only one who's tough enough to help. Maybe she'll let me live with her, in that little room above the garage.
Waiting twenty minutes for a bus to come to take me to Hampton seems like forever. When it comes and I take one look at the old lady's house, I feel like I'm home.
I ring the doorbell, hoping she can hear it. Maybe I'll install one of those bulbs that light up every time the doorbell rings, so if her hearing really goes she'll be all set.
The second time I ring, the door opens. But it's not Mrs. Reynolds, it's the guy who owns Auntie Mae's Diner. "Is Mrs. Reynolds home?"
"Aren't you Caleb Becker?"
"Yeah. I--"
"How do you know my mother?" he demands. I put my hands in my pockets. "I worked for her."
He hesitates, confused, then his mouth goes wide. "You built the gazebo?"
"Yeah."
"While Maggie Armstrong worked here? The both of you, together?"
"With Mrs. Reynolds," I assure him.
"Did she know you were the one that hit Maggie? Forget it, from the look on your face I assume my mother knew. She probably tried to patch everything up, didn't she?"
"Yes, sir. I need to talk to Mrs. Reynolds." She's the only one I have left now.
"She passed away yesterday morning."
No. No, this can't happen. A hole forms in my chest and spreads through my veins. "You're lying."
"My mother had a heart attack in her sleep. Now I don't know what's been going on here, but I know Maggie's mother doesn't want you hanging around her daughter. Respect the family and leave her be."
"No problem. No problem at all," I say.
FORTY-TWO
Maggie
Mom told me Mr. Reynolds had a surprise for me. I went to Auntie Mae's Diner after school and Mr. Reynolds gave me the keys to his mom's Cadillac. I protested, but Mom assured me Mrs. Reynolds would want me to have it.
So now Mom is driving me to Mrs. Reynolds' house on her break. She helps me open the garage. I smile when I see the car, remembering the time Mrs. Reynolds helped me get over my fear of driving.
"You sure you're ready to do this?" Mom asks.
"Yeah, I'm sure. Now get back to work. I'll be fine."
"Maggie, you've been so strong lately, but I don't know if you're ready for this."
It's time I tell her how I'm feeling. I've been trying to hold it in so I don't hurt her, when all along I think I'll hurt her more if I don't say anything. "Mom, I need some space," I say, then gauge her reaction. She's looking at me skeptically, but I can tell by the way her lips are together in concentration that she's listening and attempting to understand.
I take a deep breath and say, "I know it's hard for you. It's been unbelievably difficult for me ... but I'm finally ready to accept my body and my limitations. I'm me ... the new me. It might not be a perfect me, but I'm okay with that. It's about time I stopped trying to escape my life, don't you think?"
A tear runs down my mom's cheek. She smiles at me, this warm smile that reaches her eyes. "The accident... it took a part of you away."
"Only because I let it."
Now we're both crying. I give her a long hug.
After a few minutes she gets in her car and drives away from the house, giving me the space I need. Taking a deep breath, I scan the yard. And swallow hard. The gazebo is standing like a castle in the middle of the grass, outlined by the flower beds. The bulbs are patiently waiting in hibernation until it's their time to poke their heads out of the ground for the first time and vibrantly come to life.
After yesterday, I feel like I've bloomed. It took a romance and an old lady to coax me out of hibernation, but it happened.
As I'm carefully driving home, I see Caleb at Paradise Park at the basketball courts. I stop to let him know I'm not upset he betrayed me. I'll get over him. It might take a while, but I'm going to be just fine. I'll have other boyfriends and adventures in life, other times I'll be able to feel confident and carefree and happy. I'm a survivor. Even with my limp. Getting out of the car and gathering all my courage, I walk over to him.