I found it interesting that he thought Daniel was the problem while I thought it was Brittany’s attitude.
“Maybe they just need a little more time to connect.” I really wanted to stay positive regarding her chances of finding a mate.
“Man, I’m so glad I didn’t have to do the whole dating scene.”
I felt an uncomfortable tightening in my chest. “You don’t think that’s the reason we’re together—because we were convenient—do you?”
“No.” Leaning in, he kissed me tenderly.
One of the girls shrieked, then started to sing, “Connor and Lindsey, sitting in a tree…”
Connor and I broke apart so fast that I almost got whiplash.
Several other girls joined in. “K-i-s-s-i-n-g…”
Of course they ended the song wrong—they forgot to mention that after love comes transformation—but I decided not to correct them.
After that, it took their leaders a while to get them settled and into their tents. They decided to sing about Lucas and Kayla, then Brittany and Daniel. I’d never seen Brittany blush so much. I figured she would have run into the woods if she could have done it without looking cowardly.
Kayla was taking the first shift of the night watch, which left Brittany and me alone in our tent. We got ready for bed in silence. When the lights were out, I lay in my sleeping bag staring upward, thinking about Connor and wondering why we didn’t cuddle more, why—far too often—simply talking seemed enough for us. Had we been together for so long that we’d grown immune to each other’s bodies? Was I taking him for granted? Would I feel differently after I shifted?
I was already starting to notice some differences.
“Brit? Does the forest smell…richer to you?” I’d noticed fragrances during the day’s hike in a way I never had before.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“I can’t explain it. Everything smells more alive. I know the change will bring on heightened senses—do you think it starts before the change?”
“Yeah, maybe…I mean, now that you mention it, yeah, things smell…bolder.”
She said the words, but I didn’t hear any commitment in them. Quite honestly, I didn’t hear any truth. I rolled over to my side. “What do you think of Daniel? I mean, he seems nice.”
“He’s okay.”
“You could try a little harder, you know.”
“Easy for you to say. You’ve never had to try. You’ve always had Connor.”
I thought about confessing that she might be right regarding what I had with Connor—and how convenience didn’t necessarily mean we were right for each other. But as long as I didn’t give voice to my doubts, they didn’t seem real.
“I don’t want to talk about Connor and me,” I said, far more sharply than I’d intended.
“I don’t want to talk about Daniel.”
“Good night, then.” I rolled over to my other side. Why was I even attempting to be nice, to help her with the selection of her mate? It wasn’t really my business.
“Lindsey?” she called out hesitantly a few minutes later.
I almost didn’t answer, almost pretended that I’d already fallen asleep. “What?”
“What if…what if I’m not a Shifter?” she said in a small voice.
I bolted upright, too stunned by the concept to respond. Hadn’t Connor wondered the same thing about her?
“What if that’s the reason none of the guys can connect with me?” she continued. “What if there’s something wrong with me?”
“Oh, Brittany, that’s…that’s just…” I didn’t know what to say. “Of course you’re a Shifter.”
“I feel like all the guys just look through me. Even Daniel smiles at me the same way that he smiles at the Girl Scouts—like I’m cute, but nothing special. There’s never any fire.”
Fire? Was she referring to the scary thing I felt whenever Rafe was near? For the long term, wasn’t it better to feel comfortable with someone, to feel in sync? Fire could burn you to a cinder. It was just lust, not love—wasn’t it?
But my insecurities weren’t what she needed. She needed reassurance.
“Look, Brittany, I’m sure it has nothing to do with you,” I said, even though I wasn’t sure at all. Even Connor had doubts, but this close to the first full moon after her seventeenth birthday wasn’t the time to reinforce these crazy ideas. “We only have a small pool of guys working as sherpas. It stands to reason that eventually there’s going to be a disconnect. God, your true mate could be…I don’t know. In California, maybe, or Florida. And this year, so few came for the celebration. Any other time, you might have connected with someone there. It sucks, totally. But maybe Daniel could be a surrogate until the real thing comes along.”
“The first time we shift is supposed to have an element of romance about it. I don’t think I can settle for a guy holding my hand when I want him holding my body. I’d rather just go through it alone.”
“You could die.”
“Or maybe I’d liberate us from this archaic tradition.”
You only think it’s archaic because you don’t have a mate. Personally, I didn’t want to go through it alone. I wanted the magic of the transformation and the wonder of bonding that followed.
“Anyway, I’ve got two weeks to decide what to do,” she said. “I’ll figure something out.”
She was back to sounding like the same defiant Brittany I knew. Everything would be okay. As I drifted off to sleep, I felt certain of it.
The night was dark. The moon had yet to rise. A slight breeze was blowing my hair around. Connor came up behind me, wrapped his arms around me, and kissed the nape of my neck. A tingle traveled down my spine. I leaned into him.
“Soon,” he whispered near my ear. “Very soon.”
I turned within the circle of his arms and welcomed his kiss. It was heated with passion. He skimmed his fingers up my bare arms, and wherever he touched, I felt scalded.
I heard crackling and popping. I grew so hot, I thought I would melt. Drawing back, I found myself staring into Rafe’s brown eyes, not Connor’s blue ones. Somehow, without me noticing, he’d changed. I could see him clearly now, because the trees surrounding us were ablaze, and great orange and red flames were leaping into the sky.