It sloshed as she tore open the paper to reveal a silvery box. It held a heavy crystal perfume bottle that glittered in the light when Allie held it up.
‘Oh my God. Is this that perfume I kept nicking at your house that time I came to visit?’
Rachel nodded. ‘My mum and I went out to get it yesterday.’
Allie was touched.
‘I can’t believe you remembered I liked it.’ She pulled her friend into a rough hug. ‘You old softie. Thank you.’
‘Yeah, well. I was going to give you a book but I knew better,’ Rachel explained.
Allie spritzed perfume on her wrist and inhaled deeply. It smelled like honeysuckle. ‘Yay. I’m safe from words.’
Stretching out her legs, Rachel arranged herself comfortably on Allie’s bed. ‘Tell me everything that happened. Up to and including kissing. Don’t skimp on the dirty details.’
Allie filled her in on her birthday, making it all sound as funny and romantic as possible.
When she finished, Rachel sighed happily. ‘That’s so wonderful. The cake, the candles … Sylvain really knows how to do things right.’ She cocked her head. ‘Not to clash boy topics in an awkward way but … what about Carter? You said something about him being sad?’
Allie thought of Carter’s brooding face. A little light seemed to leave the room.
‘He’s a mess,’ she said. ‘He shouted at me for coming back. Like I had an alternative. Like this was all my idea. And he’s just thin and … I don’t know. Sad. Not good.’
Rachel’s frown was thoughtful. ‘Dad mentioned something about Carter having a hard time because of what happened with Jules … and you.’
‘Me?’ Allie looked up at her in surprise. ‘What about me?’
The night before she and Rachel left the school they’d all fought Nathaniel’s guards together. Nothing that happened had been Carter’s fault. No one could have stopped it. No one except Nathaniel.
Rachel hesitated. ‘Something about how he didn’t protect you that last night with Nathaniel. And Jules got taken. Dad said he blames himself for everything. No one can get through to him.’
Allie was speechless. Suddenly it all made an awful kind of sense; she could see it all through Carter’s eyes.
Carter’s girlfriend, Jules, was taken from the school by Nathaniel because Carter got there too late. He couldn’t protect Allie during the fight with Gabe and Nathaniel because he was injured. So she ended up cut and bleeding. Then she disappeared.
She and Carter were so much alike. Like her, he had such a sense of responsibility about everything – and keeping everyone safe. He always seemed to think he had to save everyone. Of course he blamed himself right now. Super Carter let Jules down. Let Allie down. Let everyone down.
And I didn’t help, did I? she thought. I wasn’t here for him after everything happened. Instead I just jetted off with Rachel, leaving him alone with the fallout.
Guilt unfurled inside her chest.
‘Carter wouldn’t tell your dad everything,’ she said. ‘We should find out if there’s more to it. Maybe you could ask Lucas?’
As soon as she said the name, though, the mood in the room changed. Rachel tensed and looked away, drumming her fingers anxiously.
‘Look, there’s something I need to tell you about Lucas. I should have said it before but …’ Stopping, Rachel cleared her throat.
Allie frowned at her, puzzled. ‘What is it?’
‘I did a lot of thinking while we were away,’ Rachel said. ‘And I decided we weren’t right together, Lucas and me. We’re breaking up.’
Allie was blindsided.
She’d known Lucas and Rachel were having problems but she hadn’t realised it was so serious.
‘Is it Katie?’ she asked, her voice low and ominous. ‘If she cheated with him I’ll…’
‘No, Allie.’ Rachel cut her off. ‘Seriously. It’s me. Well, it’s us.’
She was still avoiding her eyes; Allie wished Rachel would just look at her. It was like she was hiding something.
‘What happened?’ Allie’s voice was so low she was almost whispering. The atmosphere in the room had grown heavy. ‘Don’t you like him any more?’
Rachel fidgeted with the blue blanket folded at the end of the bed. ‘I do like him. He’s a great guy, and he was my first real boyfriend but …’
She twisted the blanket harder.
‘I guess,’ she continued, ‘with him, I didn’t feel the way I thought I should. I didn’t miss him very much while we were gone. And I don’t think he missed me either.’ At last she met Allie’s gaze. ‘Sometimes you have to be away from someone to know you don’t want to be with them.’
Allie thought about how happy she’d been to see Sylvain that day in France. How much she’d missed Carter. For the first time it made sense that Rachel hadn’t stuck around to see Lucas after they’d returned to the school.
Still, there had to be more to it – Rachel’s nervousness was out of character.
‘Are you … super sad?’ She phrased her words cautiously.
The other girl shook her head. ‘No. Not like you were when you and Carter broke up. Mostly it feels weird. Like I’d got used to having him there and now he’s not.’ She waved a hand in the air next to her. ‘Like there should be a Lucas-shaped figure here and there isn’t. But I’m not crying.’