Not crying? How can she not be crying?
When Allie and Carter broke up she’d wondered sometimes if she would get through it. She couldn’t eat. Couldn’t sleep … The memory of how that had felt never left her.
So why was Rachel’s break-up pain free? It made no sense.
Unless …
‘Rachel, is there … you know, someone else …? Allie’s tone was cautious but Rachel’s cheeks flamed as if she’d shouted the words. She looked mortified.
‘God no. I mean … who could there be?’ she stammered. ‘That’s just … no.’
Allie kept her face blank but her mind was whirling. Rachel’s reaction was so weird. Something was definitely up. It must be another guy.
But why wouldn’t she tell her? It wasn’t like Rachel to keep secrets about dating. They told each other everything.
They’d spent all those months together but now that they were back at Cimmeria she could already feel a new distance between them. And she didn’t like it.
That evening, Allie and Rachel walked into the dining hall together. As they passed through the door, Rachel blew her breath out between her teeth in a hiss.
‘Blimey. This place is really … not very full.’
‘See?’ Allie was so relieved to have someone to share this all with she could have hugged her. ‘Isn’t it weird? And it’s not just empty, it’s like …’
‘Depressing.’ Rachel finished the thought for her.
‘Totally.’
They made their way across the subdued room to their usual table. Carter, Nicole and Zoe were already there.
‘Hey—’ Allie started but Nicole interrupted her.
‘Rachel!’ Jumping up from her seat, Nicole ran over to hug her. ‘It’s about time you came back.’
‘Hey, Rachel.’ Zoe waved from her seat then returned to eating a bread roll.
‘You have to sit next to me,’ Nicole insisted. ‘Allie has had enough of your time.’
‘You can have her,’ Allie said mildly. ‘I’m bored of her.’
‘Gosh, thanks, Allie,’ Rachel said, but she smiled.
Throughout all of this, Carter said nothing. He studied them all from beneath a lowered brow.
‘Hey, Carter.’ Rachel touched his shoulder as she walked by him.
‘Rachel.’ He said it politely but Allie could see how isolated he felt. Even surrounded by his closest friends he seemed somehow apart.
She was so deep in thought she didn’t notice at first that Sylvain had slipped into the chair next to her.
‘You look like you are planning something.’
Startled, she spun round in her chair to face him. ‘Hi!’
She’d spoken too loudly; the others turned to look at them curiously. Seeing this, Allie feigned cool. ‘I mean … how are you?’
She should have prepared for this moment but she hadn’t.
Now here she was with Sylvain and Carter in the same place at the same time and she didn’t know what to do. Last night she’d been kissing Sylvain pretty passionately. Carter couldn’t possibly know about that and for some reason she was glad he didn’t.
How do you handle this? Why are there no rules?
Sylvain arched one bemused eyebrow.
‘Fine,’ he said. ‘Thank you. And you?’
‘I’m good,’ she said, knowing her awkward tone belied her words.
Sylvain made no move to kiss her and she was grateful for that. But his vivid blue gaze swept the table and Allie knew he was looking for the reason for her odd behaviour. She also knew he’d find it.
When his eyes reached Carter, he went still. Allie could almost hear his mind work as he figured it all out.
Nervousness shot through her veins like caffeine. He and Carter had hated each other for so long, only putting their enmity aside a few months ago to fight Nathaniel. If they started fighting again …
She couldn’t face that.
Her mouth had gone dry. She reached for her glass. Finding it empty, she looked around for the jug of water. It was near Carter’s elbow.
Defeated, she set the glass down again. She wouldn’t ask him. But Carter had seen what she wanted. With deliberate movements, he picked the jug up and handed across the table to her, holding her gaze. His eyes were as dark and limitless as a night sky.
‘Thanks,’ she said.
He didn’t reply. He just looked at her. And in that moment she realised he already knew everything. He knew she was with Sylvain. He’d missed nothing.
She never could fool him.
Ten
On Monday morning school, or what was left of it, began.
Just before eight, Allie walked into her history class to find the room, which normally held twenty students, eerily quiet. She chose her usual seat, conscious of the empty chairs in front of her but somehow unable to make herself sit any closer to the teacher’s podium.
A few minutes later, Sylvain’s hand brushed her shoulder as he passed and she smiled up at him, grateful not to be alone.
As he took the seat next to her, stretching his long legs out into the aisle, his posture appeared normal, relaxed. But she could sense his watchfulness just behind the easy expression. The teachers were their enemies now. Classrooms weren’t safe havens any more.
Four more students arrived before Carter, who entered the room at the last minute. She only caught a glimpse of his dark hair before he slid into a seat on the row behind her.
He’d been silent through the rest of dinner after that brief moment of connection. Since then he’d avoided her. Whenever she walked into a room, he left shortly thereafter. In groups, he stayed as far away from her as he could.