I wanted to believe that's all it was. I glanced around. "What were you doing lurking around this hallway anyway?"
"Taking a shortcut to meet Rafe. He's out guarding the perimeter and getting a little lonely."
"You should go then if he's expecting you."
"Yeah." She took a step back. "Are you going to be okay?"
Nodding, I sniffled. "Yeah. Whatever the reason, I'll find it."
After she left, I put the book back in the glass case. Using the edge of my shirt, I wiped away the prints, not that it would probably do any good. If the elders came to this room anytime soon, they'd catch my scent.
I spent the next half hour going through books and papers. Most were written in a language I didn't read. Those that weren't were original works by Shakespeare or Dickens. They wouldn't help me. I finally decided that I wasn't going to find anything in here of value to my personal dilemma. I took a last look around. Nothing appeared disturbed.
Switching off the light, I stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind me, feeling as though I was closing the door on something else more important: my future as a Dark Guardian.
FOUR
The ominous silence followed me up the stairs to the room I shared with Kayla and Lindsey. In a way, I wished I'd come here immediately and faced Kayla and Lindsey at the same time—instead of taking my detour with Connor. Kayla would have the same questions. I just needed to be stronger this time and keep my horrid secret to myself. As quietly as possible, I opened the door. The room was dark except for the moonlight coming in through the window. But there was a presence, a charged electricity—
"Brittany?" I saw Kayla's shadowy silhouette popping up in bed, and suddenly light flooded the room as she switched on a lamp.
I didn't try to hide my surprise at the sight of Lucas rolling into a sitting position, pulling his T-shirt over his head. I knew now what I'd felt when I first walked into the room: steamy passion. Lucas combed his fingers through his hair, while Kayla slipped the shoulder of her tank top back into place.
"Uh, aren't there rules against this, even between mates?" I asked lightly, hoping that by joking they wouldn't sense something was wrong with me. Only married mates were allowed to share a room. It was a little comforting to know even our leader didn't follow rules.
Kayla was blushing when she scrambled off the bed and came toward me. "Lindsey left and it's so hard to find time alone.. .Lucas just got here. Honest. If we'd known you were coming back tonight"—she shook her head—"I've gotta have a hug first and then I'll apologize."
Before I could respond, she flung her arms around me. "We've all been so intensely worried about you, afraid you wouldn't survive. Lindsey especially. Lucas and I were just talking about sending out search parties tomorrow."
"Yeah, I'm sure you guys were talking," I teased, as I hugged her tightly, needing the support if not for the reasons she thought.
"We were, in between kisses," she assured me.
When we broke apart, I forced a cocky smile and shrugged. "Don't know what the big deal was. It wasn't nearly as bad as everyone implied it would be."
I was grateful Lucas was there. If he hadn't been, I might have dropped my guard and told Kayla the truth. Her joy over my return had taken me by surprise—I hadn't expected her to be so worried or so glad to have me back safe and sound. It made me wonder if maybe I'd misjudged how much she cared for me. In some ways it made it more difficult because if I was part of the inner circle, it was going to be more painful if I lost that sense of camaraderie.
"Still, I wish you would have let someone go with you. I mean, you just left, headed out without telling anyone. The elders were a little freaked," Kayla said.
I couldn't imagine the elders getting freaked about anything having to do with me—or anything else for that matter. They were always impossibly calm, as though excitement had long ago left their lives. I looked over at Lucas. "Thanks for not sending anyone to follow me."
"Figured if you wanted someone with you then you would have taken someone," Lucas said.
"Appreciate the show of confidence." I really wanted to change the subject and I needed him to know what I discovered. "You should know, on my way back, I ran across a snare."
Lucas went all still, the same way Connor had. "Bio-Chrome?"
I bit my lower lip. If I'd shifted, my sense of smell would have been heightened enough that I would have known for sure. "I think so. I saw Connor before I came inside. I told him about it. He's gone to check it out."
Lucas nodded with obvious satisfaction. "Good. He'll get to the bottom of it."
He ambled over, giving me an intense once-over as though he was looking for tufts of fur. "You sure you're okay?"
So much for thinking a change in subject would stay changed. "Absolutely. Why wouldn't I be?"
He arched a dark brow, because I was being stubborn. "I don't think any she-wolf has gone through it alone, at least not in recorded history. The elders are probably going to want to talk with you."
Great. That's just what I want.
"I'll be around," I said more easily than I felt. I decided one more time to end the subject. "It's done now." After tossing my backpack on the bed, I pointed at each of them. "And you two are done as well."
Kayla wrapped her hand around my arm, the way people did when they were going to deliver bad news and thought the person hearing it might need to remain standing. "When you saw Connor, did he tell you about Lindsey and Rafe?"
"Yeah."
"Big surprise, huh?"
"Not totally." She and Lindsey were tight. I liked Kayla but I didn't feel a sisterhood bond or anything. I wondered how much of that had to do with whatever was messed up in my Shifter genes. "Last summer when you met Lindsey, you felt an immediate connection, didn't you?"
Kayla had been adopted by Statics, raised away from Shifters. Last summer she'd returned to the forest—our forest—where her birth parents had been killed.
"Yeah, I did. It was kinda weird, but comforting at the same time." Giving Lucas a soft smile, she blushed. "Although I'll admit the connection I felt to Lucas scared me."
"Why?"